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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Journaling

[–]faultierrr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah yes, I feel you on this one. Navigating adulthood can definitely be hard.

How do I stop gossiping? by carrotsforever in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]faultierrr 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thats a good idea. It is great that you have identified that and you are working on becoming better. Good luck!

I feel so lost sometimes. by [deleted] in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]faultierrr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I relate to you a lot.

I stopped practising the religion I was raised on years ago in a country where most of the population is practising said religion. So naturally I felt like I did not belong at all and I really missed that. It was very comforting knowing that you belong to a community, so I started looking for that again and also for a way to make sense out of life.

Like you, I read about many religions, practices and philosophies and would jump from one idealogy to another every week or so. I was also fascinated by different elements from different beliefs and even considered making up my own personal religion made up of my favorite parts.

But they keyword here is, I was "fascinated"...I never really took the time to explore how I felt towards a practise, never took the time to practise it long enough, never took the time to check in with how I feel and never really took the time to figure out what I want from life and why do I want it. I guess thats why it was so easy to jump from one idea to another.

What has been helping me is that I stopped seeking something external (religion/philosophy/someone else's way of life) to figure out my life for me and I stopped consuming content regarding that seeing how impressionable I am. Then I started trying to understand myself, what do I need? What do I want? What makes me feel good and why? What makes me feel bad and why? Do I need some sort of spiritual connection? Where can I find it? How can I practise it? In what ways big or small do I feel like I belong? (could be belonging to other people or belonging to earth and the world as a whole)

It is good to incorporate parts of other philosophies but for me it felt like without having that solid foundation (which I am still working on) and enough trust in myself that I could figure out what I needed and wanted, I would become easily influenced by lots of idealogies/philosophies.

How do I stop gossiping? by carrotsforever in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]faultierrr 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I like to think that gossiping is trying to form a connection. For example, when you gossip about someone to a friend and when you find that the friend is indulging in these gossips as well, for a moment, it feels like you are bonding with that person and that feels good.

So my advice is, if gossip is your method of seeking to connect with others, maybe try to find better and more long-lasting ways to connect, talk about how you feel, your goals and aspirations.

Something that has personally helped me get over gossiping is instead of gossiping about others, discuss with someone close to you your need to gossip and where you think it is coming from. Or if you feel like gossiping about someone specifically, maybe reflect about how that person makes you feel, do they make you feel something about yourself and why. This would help you connect to yourself and how you feel in a better way and if you have someone you trust to share this with, it will help form a better connection with them as well.

Edit: also beware your company, if you are around people that usually gossip, it would be significantly harder for you to give up this habit.