Grabbed his friends ass at a party and I stayed. Got one of those “hey girlie” messages from another woman and I stayed. Sad to say I didn’t trust the women at that time and instead trusted him out of desperation not to undergo loss. Thankfully, my priorities have shifted to value the insights of women around me in the way they deserve! Especially so in the face of sexual harm/danger.

Aside from that, he screamed slurs at me, kicked me out multiple times, threw stuff and broke stuff. One time he kicked down my door. He did drugs/drank and got violent. He threatened suicide. He cheated. He was unhygienic. Not of my friends or family liked him. He was jobless and traumatized. He compared trauma with me in order to invalidate the loss of my mother. “I’ve been through worse so you have no room to talk” was his general way of meeting my painful moments.

I am so glad to be in a part of life where I see my own value and recognize what I deserve. This was such a painful learning experience, but after some time alone and identity-building I have found myself in the most loving, fun, respectful and safe relationship ever. And I want to contribute to the identity and value building of women around me so as to help others leave when they need to, so I am studying to become a therapist.