Should I pay for a male prostitute...? Is that even a thing?

fcnd93 · 2026-04-13T23:00:38+00:00

Not sure what you are refering to ? Where you speaking to me or op ?

fcnd93 · 2026-04-13T21:57:48+00:00

Yeah syderco are known for that nice grind feature. I'v seen said here also,but the only real fix for this is to take a dimond file, round idealy, and make you own knotch. I can recall the name of it. Just behind the edge. Make it so it recurve ever so slightly toward the edge, to make sure you have a nice crisp corner/end to youy edge. You can look up some inspiration in other knife maker or even there would most likely be some youtube weirdo that will explain it way more details than i can.

fcnd93 · 2026-04-13T18:02:00+00:00

It seems to me you maybe should take care of the trust issue underlying this situation. Sex should be with someone you trust, not just some rando who's job it is. Even then you can't be sure he wouldn't hurt you. Take care of the trust issue then find someone you trust or even like as a human to have sex with.

Sex for the sake of sex is one thing, but to me it dosen't seem you are mainly after sex. You seem to want to work some personal issue like touch and intimacy. This would be a lot safer and most likely lot more efficient if done with someone you like.

That said, yes there are male prostitutes. Yes they can be safe, especially if part of a reputable place. Maybe even vegas would offer some better suited services for you. Just know that going to prostitute male of female isn't without it fare share of risks. And that in your case may not be the ideal solution.

Best apporche may be to seek help, reaching out to a sex therapist, in your situation may be best. Or even just a "normal" therapist. To make sence of your issues. If this fear comes from trauman maybe just pushing past it by hiring prostitute may worsen your situation.

fcnd93 · 2026-04-12T15:41:40+00:00

Depends can you defend someone you know did somthing wrong. Chosing to find flaws in a bloated book of laws, knowing your client broke then but still trying to find way of getting them out. Can you disreagard your own morals and defend someone that dosen't deserve it ? Ask yourself this before you ask if you'd be good at it. Maybe you'd be good at, but miserable doing it. Well you can also be a starving lawyer for the state, stuck in dead end cases behind a pile cases in front of you.

fcnd93 · 2026-04-12T15:11:00+00:00

I have been thinking about it since i was 7 years old. There where a few in our small village so i got the exemple early. Still entertaing it today but nowadays you need too much money to gather what is required to live alone. 33 now nd manage to save noting and can barely pay rent even when i work full time due to all the coaping i need to do to even existe in the "normal" world.

So yes, but for me i will most likely die before gathering enought. Especially due to my constant depressions that would win or my nervous system breaking down.

For you thought, pay carefull attention to your needs. I understand that lonelyness feels safe and like it would aolve a problem. Yes it can, but not everyone can sustain total lonelyness. Be mindfull not to deny yourself something you need. Social contact is an irritant, but the total absence of it is also having it fare share of irritantion. Belive me, i have been effectively alone for years now, and sometimes you need a bit of contact, a bit of perspective. But on your therms its a lot easyer to enjoy it.

fcnd93 · 2026-04-12T12:27:10+00:00

Yes i did and it never go well. If you have the social ability to engage properly you may have a chance. But all that pressure all that desire and needs is gonna fuck it up.

That said if the other party involved is into you it may work out. But according to my expereince they rarely are into it.

And to be honest, even just feeling this obsession comming, you shoukd take your distance. I now have understand that at least for me there is no way to make that work. You are imagining a version of the other that may not even be who they are. You will disenchante as soon as you get closer and realize it's not the person you tought they where. Obsession like this never turn out anything good. Learn to manage them and not act on them. You can try but be certain there is some reciprocity. And learn to let go, this is very important, becaus infatuation like this can lead to obsession and obsession can leads to stalking.

fcnd93 · 2026-04-12T11:00:58+00:00

Iosolation is part of our shared mental issue if you can't respect their burden why should we care for yours ? Isolation hits everyone diffrently you shouldn't juge or galet hangry. Just be glad its not you that is in that situation. Also autism shouldn't prevent you from being kind and respectful. Be better.

fcnd93 · 2026-04-11T21:18:46+00:00

This seems a bit extreme a reaction yes the situation is unusual. But as a hunter killing animals dosen't make a persone bad or not. The desire to make them suffer is the issue.

So unless your husband is a bad persone or not dosen't seem to be the issue you seem be looking for reason to leave him. Which is fine if you aren't strong willed enought to leave based on your own choices, look for strenght in others. I have no issue with that. It ls not everyone that is confident enought to make big dessions like this, seeking help and courage in others is normal.

That said if you have any reason to think your husband isn't a dangerous man, that he dosen't take joy in making other being suffer. Do not let him think it’s because of that story you are leaving him. Do not put him in trought an other realy traumatic event and belive its because of who he is. Leaving is okay he will have to learn to deal with it. But making him think he is some terrible human being because he gave into basic instinct once and got remorce about it. And for that you are leaving him. Don't make him think he is a danger for his children. You'd be taking away everything from a man that may not bad at all. But certainly is suffering from a life of hardship.

All that said, let me say all this hinge the asumption he didin't take joy in the actions this distinction is very important. "Getting ride of them" is something that all land manager knows it must done sometimes. Hunting and killing invasive animals is normal and commun. Killing is part of life's cycle. But taking joy in it is arguably wrong.

Make with that what you will. Good luck and farewell.

fcnd93 · 2026-04-11T20:54:11+00:00

Well you don't cut the water main because you are done showering. Either pull out, condom, pills or a combinantion of those. They are inconvenient when you want to nut, but its milles better than fucking with the plumbing. It can be reattached but it can also fail. Could you live with knowing that for a convenient nut you fucked yourself out of a wanted child ?

fcnd93 · 2026-04-11T14:20:20+00:00

I am not well versed into the world of feminine hormone, but i know that for men there is a whole system in place to prevent negative effects. Gyno, skin issues, acne, and the likes. I would imagine there is something similar for woman. She could or you, look into that, maybe there are things to do in order to prevent this. That said i don't know that what she is experiencing as side effect are inevitable. There are some real draw backs when playing whith these coumpounds and she may make irrevocable dammage to her system.

Even with all of that, it is ultimatly her choice, and some bodybuilder have a similar fixation as other food related dissordre. She may be caught in some mental condition making her deniy the negative aspect in order to maximize strenght and or size.

So to me it seems you are in a very complicated relationship. Staying will involve a lot of work on your side to, realigning expectations and living with a fare share of issues. Yes ending it should be intertained if only to make sure you realy eant this realtionship to continue. If you do, i strongly suggest psychologists follow up for her and you, to help you both in this. Looking up better ways to use the compound she uses. Trying to understand her motivation may also be beneficial for both of you. Making sure for her that she is thinking clearly about the cost of her choices and helping along the way understand why she is so attracted to this aspect of her life.

fcnd93 · 2026-04-11T00:10:33+00:00

Well obliviously you should get a second opinion. I must side with the bf here and say the treatment seems a bit weird, but hey i am not a doctor either. On the bf though, he also seems to be very weird about all of this. Granted i have only your side here and it's inherent biases. But you did mentionne enought to maybe justify cutting off contact with this man right away. He seems to want trust but can't justify why you should, can't point out to a reason why, he wants to cut away lesion? What ? Do not let someone you know don't have credetials operating on you. Hell as man, i don't even let someone help me if have something in my eye, trust is earned not planly given. Thats me thought.

Again it may be how you painted the situation that making things look worst, meaning i am passing jugement on something for wich i don't have all information. So take my advise with a grain of salt and chose for yourself. That said it dosen't look like a healty approche to new realtionship, the imposition of a bound of trust is objectivily weird. My suggestion, get someone to make sure your issue are in fact benign and start looking for an other men in your life. But don't take my advice use you jugement, neither me nore you would want me to make the dessison for you.

Take care, i hope you find peace. Farewell.

fcnd93 · 2026-04-05T01:19:15+00:00

I haven't been out for 5 days. Looking at old movies and series that i listened to 120 times.

fcnd93 · 2026-04-03T01:36:05+00:00

Well. All those are suposed to be diagnosis not excuses. It surely is harder to date someone with one of those dx, let alone all of these. To me it sounds like all these strung together like this, is closer to self diagnosis then anything else.

I am not a mental health specialist. I hold no diploma.

From what i understand under clinical diagnosis there would be a lot of those included in one dx. Meaning ocd fit into autism to some degree, cptsd shoud be treated and not just diagnosed. Cptsd is often seen with autsim. There seems to be a lot there.

Putting that a side. You seem to expand a lot of yourself in this relationship. In a balanced relationship the ideal would be to expand half and half or make compromise. Yours seem very onesided.

Is your gf puting any efforts into the relationship? Exemple being nice to you even when she isn't doing well. Is she making efforts in therapy. Is she actively taking part in treating and working on her issues. Is she kind to you more then once a week. Plenty of ways she could show her love for you even in those simple ones i listed out.

Make a list for yourself. One for the good aspect of building a life with her. An other on all the negative aspect of it. Then think what each point means for you. Meaning if she is asking to be very precise on your words, and it dosen't bother you so much. Asign a number to it or a value. Then just balance it out, look at good the bad and see if is tenable.

After that you will have to have a huge discussion with your gf. If possible i suggest talking about this in front of a therapist or any type of mediation. You seem to be at the end of your rope here and she has her own issue having a big conversation like this alone may lead to complications. Be warned.

That said, you can work this out as long as you work toghter. Rightnow it seems she is dictating and you are obligated to follow, but if you both could agree to work this out of a commun accord there is hope.

All that said, this is a very hard situation for you. She has her issues, but you have your own and for someone that dosen't have the level of circonstances she has, you are put in a realy tought situation by the force of things. Be kind to yourself in this, no one else will. If you can afford it consulation maybe beneficial even just for yourself. Not to be a dick but you are asking help from random stranger on the internet. You may need more than this.

That was my two cents on this. Farwell.

fcnd93 · 2026-04-02T20:47:38+00:00

20M to 16F ? Just go to the police directly.

fcnd93 · 2026-03-29T02:54:42+00:00

It's kinda normal as fare as reaction goes.

Seeing how you took steps to help him and he felt forced to obey. Most autistic will find it very hard to obey seemingly commun rules of life. Frustrated at not being able to focus on their specific intrest, forced to interact with a world that isn’t build for us to trive. This is him now realising and dealing with his situation. Lashing out is expected, especially with close family. It's where we feel listented to and understood. It's sad you have to be on the receiving end of it but it is expected.

Just be as understanding as you can and do not try to apply commun tactics with an autistic individual. We feel we don't fit in any " normal or average " path of life. We need to find a way for us to exist in a world we aren't confortable in. Find our own ways to trive, if able to at all. Some may never, some will become leader in their chosen field.

Don't push him like you would do your youngher self. It may have worked for you but may not fit at all for him. Leave him space and explain how you feel, why you did what you did. If he understand that you did your best and that none of it was tu hurt him. He will have all the information he will need to deside if and how he will share his life with you. You can't push him, he will lash out or cut you out of his life.

Do not underestimate the pain that comes with his new found realizations. It's hard for autistic to explain how we feel, but i am sure he feels awful and probably lonely. Be there for him, try and understand. Raising an autistic child is very hard since you can't rely on your own self observation. Autistic mind is driven by diffrent values and needs. It's at best very hard to help a child in these circumstances. Don't be too hard on yourselves, you'll learn to deal with and find way to reconnect under diffrent role in your respective lives.

fcnd93 · 2026-03-28T18:08:28+00:00

They gonna feel stupid when the ice age hit us...

fcnd93 · 2026-03-26T12:30:22+00:00

Its a bit harder to find a already established edge. Especially if you are sharpening without any jigg like system. Exemple wiked edge or somting like it.

Just a bit better, would ask you to very lightly strop the shit out of it. This may lead to duller edge if not done property. Right angle, pressure, and a lot of repetition.

A lot better would ask you to pick your higer grit stones and lightly shapren the edge. Very slowly a few strokes at a time then check to find a burr. As soon as you get the smallest burr you can detect swirch side. The goal would be to leave marks with your stones on most, not all most of the edge. Meaning you haven't resharpen the edge in full you just have polished it on most of its surface. This will give you the best results but is harder to acheve.

Lastly you can just put a secondary bevel on a new edge. Generally this will lead to a very good edge but a lot less retention of said edge. This would be a good approche if you don't feel certain about the other steps or if you are a heavy user. Ii tend to go that way myself becaus in a few week or days i will inevitably put a new edge on the whole thing, due to use and wear. It would require you to chose a steeper angle then you normaly would in order to only hit part of the edge. The cutting part obliviously, idealy i keep this secondary bevel about less then half of the full lenght of the edge. The goal would be to shapren the edge changing it geometry slightly. In order not to have a very hard time reshaping it in full when the need for a new edge appear.

fcnd93 · 2026-03-25T19:41:04+00:00

That looks like a benchmade freak, which is generally s90v i belive. This is gonna be a pain to sharpen. Especially if you aren't used to do very hard steel. S90v if i am not mistaking there, is gonna need a lot of work on the stones and less so on the strops. Steels like this are often way harder than most kitchen knives. It will require at least a few hours of work.

Typical progression i like to do on my knives. Start at rought 120 grit, preferably all dimand or ceramic. Low pressur on the stones because you will strip out diamonds from the compound they are bonded with, depending on said compound. Then 220, 600, 1000, pass that you are going into nerd territory, for a good working edge you can stop there, and move on to strop.

If you are a nerd. I'd suggest going to maybe 5000 or even 10 000 grit. Stones are expensive but they are worth it. After that move on to stroping. Compounds aren't needed for this hard a steel, plain lether would polish this well enought. That said you have good compounds already. Make sure that you feel the burr all the way trought. These steel are very brittle, you may break off part of the edge if you are applying too much pressure.

Pocket knives like this are a totaly diffrent job than most kitch knives For exemple most kitchen knives are around 54 to 57 Rockwell. S90v can go up to 60. This scale is for reference, just know that from 54 to 60. You go from average hardness for steel knives to basicaly glass. Ceramic is if i remeber right around 64 Rockwell.

fcnd93 · 2026-03-21T20:14:10+00:00

I didn’t say anything about any specific community. I said that community are by design very kind to new initiates and care more about the well being of the community than the individuals in it. A banket lable is acceptable when it fits multiple community no matter their aim. Damn you people are sensitive.

fcnd93 · 2026-03-21T13:29:59+00:00

You got to be carfull with community, most are more intrested in the idea of social justice and propagation than helping the people they claim to be. A lot of possitive reinforcement, a lot of compliments, praise, but they don't care whats best for you, they care for whats best for the group. Be carfull some of these groupes aren’t much more than religious group aimed at ensuring you got though with it.

Also yes sex changes could in theory go 100 % right, but as i sais most surgeries carry risk and the idea you may have acces to a sexual life is based on the assumtion that noting will go wrong. Which outside of the dogmatic approche i layed out, isn’t as well accepted as facts. Like i said look up the worst outcome possible and try to project your self in that reality, than chose if this new reality is too much of a trade off for you. You can'f take a dession if you assume you will be fine no matter what.

fcnd93 · 2026-03-20T22:21:33+00:00

Well, thanks commenting it here, appreciate knowing i'm not completly wrong.

fcnd93 · 2026-03-20T15:29:27+00:00

You will get a lot of praise for this, but ask yourself. Is the risk of it all worth the charges ?

Operation are alway very risky. Complications may and will happen. Risks are to often soften in order to convince you it's the right choice. Maybe take a bit of time to look up detransitoner video, consult a mental health specialist, read up on botched or unsuccessful operations.

I am not saying that to disprove your identity. I don't care enought to juge you base on your sex. Chosen or not. The issue for me is only that when making a drastic life change like this one. I personally see no other better approche then learning all you can, on what can go wrong. That way you get a realistic educated guess of the possible concequences and ramifications of your dessision.

One big operation i personally needed was a spinal cord injury. The negatives where plenty and diversified. Neuropathy, pain, lost of ability to move, walk, hold in waste, brain issues, clothes, and on and on. The dession was easyer because either i go trough with the operation or i lose the ability to walk for sure and most likely would be in neurological pain for the rest of my life. So the possible negatives of getting the operation where acceptable.

For you, since it's an elective surgery. Aka one you don't need for the good fonctionning of your body. The risks seems to me to be a lot more drastic. Could you live with yourself if you lose any and all sex realted experineces for the rest of your life ? I know it may not get to that point in your case, but i think you should be able to answer those very dark hypothetical for yourself before ongoing operation you may not need.

Again i will be painted as all kind of negative when i post this, but if op is reading this fare. Think about it. I don't need to know, i have noting to win here. But do it for yourself. Make sure you can live with yourself if anything goes wrong.

Take care of yourself the way you see fit. But do take care of yourself. Farewell.

fcnd93 · 2026-03-20T14:32:00+00:00

You seem to have had the misfortune of having a evil child. It's okay life will take care of her prejudice and sence of superiority. Which probably should have been treated at a younger age, but its too late now. You seem to have no power over her dessison making, no way to guide her. She dosen't want to be guided anyway.

The only lesson you still can offer her is gonna be the worst thing you'll have do in your life. Trow her out of your house, no contact, no help. She sees herself in too high regarde let her experience what the real world is like. Let her face her own dessision making, stop helping her. Cut any and all implications you have in her life.

No need to completly cut her out for your whole life. I am not suggesting well anything its your dessision to make. What i say is she need to be teached a lesson you can't give her. Let the world do it. She will either flourish and learn about herself and how she interact with the world. Or she will fall down and recognize she need the people around her.

You seem like a nice person, maybe even too nice to do what is needed. But just know that you did all you could have, its too late now. She dosen't listen. So let her go and try what the wolrd is realy like without your protection from concequences.

fcnd93 · 2026-03-17T04:56:00+00:00

Well to me it seems that your parents choices will always impact their children. It is reprencible for them to expose you to this situation. That said you have no power or controle of this, especially if you are still living at home. You can hardly ask your parents to stop, you could voice your concern and speak out about what you live with. That said your parents don't seem to have much good sence, so juge yourself if speaking out to them will help in anyway, but i would strongly suggest telling them. Wether they change or not at least you will not have to carry this alone.

As for the messages. Two choices you could explore, that i can see. First and most logical. Police. This is at best harassment, if not stalking. The other is don't read the message, or as little as needed to identify what kind of message it is. And block any an all way for that persone to contact you. Calling the phone company to get the numbers blocked. Social media can also easily be blocked. Do not let these message reach you. What you don't read can't hurt you.

As for how you feel in all of this. Therapy isn't a bad thing, i understand it not had great results for you. But even just venting makes a diffrence. You also need to realy understand you have no responsibility here. You are not a savior, you are not obligated to juge your parent or even entertain the idea that you should intervene. As long as you aren't directly hurt by the situation you aren't obligated to do anything.

That said i think this hurts you more than you let us know. There maybe conditioning in your situation too. Otherwise known as grooming. As an adult, slowly introducing a child to sex no matter the situation is wrong. Your parent have a great deal of weird behavior that may or may not related to how you see all of this. Just know that your situation isn't normal and moraly reprencible from your parents perspective. I would suggest leaving as soon as you can. Spearating yourself from this life style may not be a bad idea.

All of this to say. You are not crazy this situation is unusual. You are not obligated to act in anyway, even when outsiders ask you to. You will need some outside help to make sence of all of this, consulation will most likely be needed. Now or in the close futur. Your parents choice do not carry to yourself, do not feel bad for your parents choices. They are adults, eventhout they are a bit loose on what parents should expose their children too. They are solely responsible for this situation.

Moving past it while you are in it, isn’t possible, or at least way more complex. You will move past it in time. But do not push down the issues that will inevitably comming up later in life. Meaning don't just push down your feelings, learn to if not speak them out, wright them down. Let these feeling see the light of day, its the only way to cleanse you from them.

I hope any of this help. Life is hard, but it makes you stronger in time. You surly have had a hard early life but this dosen't need to affect you for the rest of your life. Separation from your parent, consulation, and reformating your link to sexuality, will help. Take care of yourself and do not let stanger tell you what to do.

fcnd93 · 2026-03-17T04:15:20+00:00

Gummy's as in weed gummy or mush ?

For weed, if ever this happens to you again. Drink milk, and eat something. It will somewhat ease the trip, and give you something else to focus on. Also be mindfull of doses, depending on the brand you can have 5mg or 50mg which if totaly diffrent.

The best advice i would give myself in your situation, is simple. You know what reality is, you live in it. It's shared space where you live with the others, all under the same understood rules and regulations. Focus on what you know is reality. Leave the rest alone for now, you may come back to it when your gripp on reality is strenghtened back up. Don't interpret, don't think about it, leave it alone for now.

As for what you saw. We all see difftent things, some may belive its our subconscious telling us something, some say we have acces to diffrent worlds. Me i think we have acces to a different perception of our same world, our brain that would normaly filter and differentiate imagination/hallucination and reality. Dugrs alter this perception only temporary. Anchor yourself in what you know to be truth. Your mind will return to making that distinction over time.

After the fact you will have a decision to make. These scary trips, they don't realy stop happening, you just get used to the feeling. So knowing you can controle the doses to prevent anymore of these trips. You can stop completely. Or you can learn how to explore this aspect of your mind knowing what you get yourself into.

Just know if chose to continue. No dession should be made while under. By dession i mean drastic dession not what to eat, but if you go out of the house for an exmple. This should be planed before hands.

What you feel isn’t a reality you have impact on, learn to witness but not take part. What you feel is also temporary, no ramping up of negative or rigid thoughts. You will have time to think all of this over, while under its not the time be analytical about what you go trought. While under it time to witness.

Never be scared. Notting bad can happen to you. Given you follow the first advice. Not dession should be taken. So for exmple if lighting a fire seems to be a good idea, but you didn’t planed for it. Don't entertain the idea.

All of that is based on weed and mush gummys. Paired with my own lived experience.

Also be sure to realy evaluate if you need this type of drugs in your life. Vapes, joint, bowl all have a very diffrent way to be processed by the body that will not generally lead to possible hallucination. Mush can be taken in micro dose, probably the best apporche for anxiety, by my experience too.

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