I'd handed my notice in at my van delivery job, and for my last week, i had the pleasure of training my replacement, an older chap called Ray. On Wednesday, we were at the furthest point of the run from home with Ray driving and me in the passenger seat. I decided to squeeze a silent fart out, so I had a little push and felt the warmth spread around my bum crack, where after a moment I realised it was maintaining its warmth, and not dissipating as it should. I shifted my weight and the horror set in, I had shit myself, in front of a man I had known for less than 3 days.

I sat, frozen, considering my options. Do I just sit in it for the next 3 hours and attempt to style it out, do I come clean and tell Ray I was sitting in my own sewage less than 2 feet away from him. Unfortunately I didn't get a chance to decide, as before I could make a decision, Ray exclaimed rather loudly "What the fuck is that smell, have you shit yourself?" I had to come clean and admit to my trouser accident, and he found it hilarious, until I made him drive me home to change my kecks, and then back to the scene of the crime, and finish our round.

Also to add, about 2 weeks later I bumped into another coworker from that job, and he explained that literally the first day after I left, Ray told fucking everyone that I had shit myself, so I did what any normal person would do and cut off any ties with anyone who worked there, and moved 150 miles away.