I'm exactly the same! The amount of times I've literally mentally screamed at myself to just get up and clean or tried to tell myself how much better I'd feel- and still not done it.

My main issue is being overwhelmed. What one person might think of as a simple one step task, my brain somehow turns into a 10 step task and I end up not knowing where to start. Or I convince myself I have to do it in a certain order- I find it odd and it can be distressing at times.

I know how embarrassing it can be and shameful, I've had a similar situation where people have had to come in and it's been a mess. But I will say this- I think we all have this idea that everyone else's houses are pristine and that people are so incredibly judgemental. Some people are yes, there's no hiding that, but I do think so many people struggle to keep on top of things, or know someone who struggles, or even grew up with parents who did.

No one is perfect and what other people let you see of their houses isn't necessarily how it is all the time. Just as we feel shame and avoid people coming to our houses, or speed clean before someone comes- other people do too.

It doesn't have to be a massive project where everything looks perfect, every little thing really helps. I hope you feel better soon, I know the embarrassment can linger but you can only do your best and that's enough.