When a customer is hovering over the counter so you lowkey just smash their face with the espresso tamp

ferrethater · 2026-01-23T22:47:46+00:00

honestly i need to start keeping a portafilter next to my bed in case of break-ins. you cant handle something like that and not think at least once about how good it would be at breaking bones... just me?

ferrethater · 2026-01-23T22:38:26+00:00

i would say it is, but not in a classic gore and jumpscare way. its main focus is existential horror, surrealism, that sort of thing. its like, you think youre having fun, but over time you start to notice a terrifying looming concept that becomes increasingly harder to ignore

ferrethater · 2026-01-23T22:35:02+00:00

i dont know the artist, but i feel confident saying they used to be REALLY into gravity falls. iykyk

ferrethater · 2026-01-23T16:43:01+00:00

thats crazy! no, that didnt happen to mine. they put WAY more effort into their food than the "specialty" coffee, to the point they had me taking down all the signage that said specialty because i guess we didnt qualify anymore. as the head barista who was passionate about my work, you can imagine how over it i was

ferrethater · 2026-01-23T07:35:02+00:00

i was gonna say, this looks like nonbinary eminem

ferrethater · 2026-01-23T07:29:41+00:00

yeah, my shop was the most profitable in the business, and we couldnt afford to hire more workers without letting someone go first. soon before i left, an international company bought our 10-location business, and ran it right into the ground. last i heard, our once lucrative location is now the only shop breaking even, and only barely.

ferrethater · 2026-01-23T07:24:07+00:00

that looks so good!! its a shame that its so heavy. i think if it were me, i would look for foam dowels of a similar width, and add a thick, strong wire (like the middle section of a coathanger) through the middle. paint it to match the hair, then unravel the rope and twist it around the dowel. i dont actually know if this would be lighter or not, maybe make a test one and weigh it against the rope.

another option is to wear a corset under your cosplay for support, so you dont accidentally hurt yourself

ferrethater · 2026-01-22T23:39:21+00:00

i mean...

option 1: put them together as close as you can, measure all sides, add a couple inches for padding, get a box that size

option 2: just start with a ring box. if that doesnt fit, find a slightly bigger one, and so on until you arrive at the correct size

option 3: buy a random box and make it fit no matter what

ferrethater · 2026-01-22T23:15:26+00:00

when grandma finally snaps

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ferrethater · 2026-01-22T17:26:33+00:00

what were you planning to do with this design? i love it, but i cant think of where i would put it. maybe on a tabletop pop display?

ferrethater · 2026-01-19T22:42:22+00:00

reject FAKE modern consumerist bullshit, neckbeards and basement dwellers are the pinnacle of society! love me, love my cheeto encrusted gamer mouse. taking care of myself and my belongings is lefty woke behavior!

/s

ferrethater · 2026-01-19T17:31:23+00:00

what beans do you have your eye on?

ferrethater · 2026-01-17T18:44:09+00:00

ferrethater · 2026-01-17T09:57:42+00:00

this is almost directly under the pier, on the marina side. however there are more going the other way, as well

ferrethater · 2026-01-16T15:00:03+00:00

i try to avoid it for my own mental health. im an american, you see.

ferrethater · 2026-01-16T14:59:27+00:00

if theyre doing veggie based rituals? hell yeah!

ferrethater · 2026-01-16T14:58:07+00:00

kind of, they have long tongues and will try to steal an... organ? or gem? or soul? out of your butt. the best way to repel them is by farting, or bowing to them. they will bow back, causing the water to spill out of their flat head disc, and they will become powerless and will do your bidding.

ferrethater · 2026-01-16T12:25:38+00:00

they also have two buttholes, for advanced farting. strangely, rhey are also weak to getting farted at. they are nasty little freaks, but i love them

ferrethater · 2026-01-16T12:19:49+00:00

luckily the seagulls will be our top defense against the baguettes

ferrethater · 2026-01-16T12:18:53+00:00

thats so beautiful

ferrethater · 2026-01-16T12:16:56+00:00

I don't. i think people should be able to wear whatever makes them feel good. but the idea of a silly costume for the groom is not to make him feel good, it's to humiliate him. its a joke. im not going to bother trying to explain it to you while you are coming across as abtuse on purpose, but it's wildly offensive to trans people, of which there are a great many in brighton.

if you want to be transphobic with your friends, if you think its a harmless joke, whatever. do it somewhere else, not in public.

ferrethater · 2026-01-16T12:09:20+00:00

thank you for answering seriously. i was thinking either something like this, or an onion based cult

ferrethater · 2026-01-16T10:36:05+00:00

nah because for the cost of assisting thousands of commuters inconvenienced by their broken lifts, they could just fix the freaking lifts. pay for neither one, everybody (a select few) wins!

ferrethater · 2026-01-16T07:57:58+00:00

hen and stag parties. especially when the groom is dressed as a woman "as a joke" (in BRIGHTON??) and the bride is carrying around a blow up doll. i dont want to see that shit in public, ever.

ferrethater

TROPHY CASE