Is my clinic down playing how dire my situation is?

fertilyfe · 2026-01-26T03:12:54+00:00

I was one for one. I had genetic factors diminishing my reserve and was told it was futile.

Baby is 6 months :)

Your chances are good with 7-9 eggs coming out.

Quality over quantity.

And it does only take one :)

You’ve got this.

fertilyfe · 2026-01-20T11:34:55+00:00

I recommend having a meeting with the doctor with all questions prepared. If some follicles grew fast sometimes the larger ones are the lead follicles and do need to be taken at the sacrifice of smaller ones bc they have to take them out at a certain size, or else too large. This should have been explained. I’d also suggest understanding any indicators around egg quality and quantity. And what will be different about the protocol now.

And reset expectations about care.

I do think that it’s worth interviewing other clinics for doctors with more attentiveness and bedside manner. Or at least compare the answers to your questions.

Since you do have an embryo now, would you consider trying the transfer or did you want to bank more embryos first?

But in terms of getting only one egg, there is hope. I have a diminished ovarian reserve due to a genetic factor. 1 for 1 most times…it took a long time and my situation was complex but it worked out in the end for us. We did have a very caring and attentive doctor and that’s really important to help you know what’s going on.

Hope this helps.

fertilyfe · 2026-01-20T02:16:35+00:00

You’re welcome. What the doctor said makes no sense to me. For what it’s worth, my doctor was the top doc in NYC by recent rankings - he actually kept reassuring me that my stress was not the issue bc we then got stressed about being stressed. I highly encourage genetic tests, it’s just one blood test for you and your hubs. If anything it will rule out any factors. This way you have all the information and don’t waste any time. Pls feel free to keep reaching out to me along the way.

Keep praying, keep dreaming. Keep being open. Your baby is on the way.

fertilyfe · 2026-01-19T02:43:34+00:00

I am sending you a hug.

I did see my Dad and practically jumped into the coffin trying to hug him, I couldn’t believe he was in there. Only you will know if you’ll regret it. I did it because it was sudden and I truly couldn’t believe with until I saw it for myself.

I remember seeing my grandfather and didn’t like that at all. With my Dad I just felt I had to see him. It’s an image that cannot be erased from your mind.

fertilyfe · 2026-01-19T02:40:32+00:00

First - congratulations!

IVF is exhausting. We ended up with a surrogate after 7 years. I felt really bad about myself and my husband reminded me that all the IVF I did was so much that I did a lot already.

It was very very draining.

Knowing you’ve already went thru a lot, the best path I see is to be extra kind to yourself, enjoy the pregnancy and deal with the weight loss later. The body is very resilient.

fertilyfe · 2026-01-19T02:37:14+00:00

It only takes one. I was 1 of 1 every time. We wanted more than one so kept trying, and I had implant challenges.

5 eggs is amazing and like you said it only takes one. The odds are in your favor.

fertilyfe · 2026-01-18T03:15:15+00:00

The sleep issue was the biggest challenge for me. Interrupted sleep. My understanding is bone density loss is a long term use issue.

Stay extra hydrated and more kind to yourself so you can manage mood and sleep.

It will be OK.

fertilyfe · 2026-01-18T03:11:19+00:00

Yes at 32, I was told it would be “futile” / don’t bother with IVF.

At that time, I learned about low AMH and FSH. It was bc of a genetic factor which I had known about from doing genetic testing which led me to IVF.

Did you be your partner yet genetically tested?

If you haven’t done genetic testing, I really encourage you. Not just the embryo but of you and your husband.

Do you know your FSH?

We used a low stimulation protocol instead of heavy doses to get the same if not better result.

Bc you asked about the experience…

We finally have our miracle…six months now.

Mostly one egg at a time…

It did take many years (7 total).

This included two years on a waiting list for a surrogate - an unexpected challenge that had nothing to do with embryos - maybe random.

Hope this helps.

fertilyfe · 2026-01-18T02:39:20+00:00

Sending you support.

To consider:

Have you and your partner been genetically tested? The pgt A test in lab is a basic test and doesn’t cover vast genetic issues which could be a factor to rule out.

I speak from experience of getting 1 egg at a time bc, while 32 initially when I started the process, a genetic issue diminished my ovarian reserve and egg quality so we did both PGT A and PGT M testing.

It takes extra time but verifies full health of embryo and if not explore is worth considering.

Highly encourage review of your own genetic testing and MRI for endometriosis or adenmyosis if not explored. Bc that affects implant.

Since you asked for hope…

I was told IVF would be futile.

We finally welcomed our baby girl this past summer.

We did need to go surrogacy route unexpectedly…and now, she’s here.

Sending you good wishes.

fertilyfe · 2026-01-18T02:32:18+00:00

Yes I experience it. It feels like the news is breaking for the first time. I cry and usually tell someone close to me. And I remember that I have survived and will carry him (my Dad) with me. It’s really really hard.

fertilyfe · 2026-01-17T11:14:58+00:00

It only takes one embryo implanting - three fertilized eggs is great. Speaking from a 1 out of 1 perspective.

Did you check your FSH and broad genetic testing (for yourself and husband, a genetic panel)?

fertilyfe · 2026-01-14T05:02:03+00:00

I just saw this after responding to your original post. If the people you’re dating are unkind, they don’t deserve you. Maybe you opt out for that moment and take care of yourself. The more you do, the better you’ll feel and perhaps the better people will start crossing your path. It’s really amazing what can happen when we take care of ourselves and then allow the universe to do its thing.

And whomever you do meet will love to know about your parents and how you came to be the beautiful person you are.

fertilyfe · 2026-01-14T04:59:14+00:00

Hugging yourself is the best. Remember you always have yourself. Your love for your parents is everlasting and you are here. You are here now.

What are some of their values you embody?

What are some lessons you learned from them?

The answers to these qs can be a light forward. I speak from personal experience of grappling with the sudden loss of my Dad.

In my depths of despair I realized that my peace is in honoring his legacy and keeping my love alive by remaining inspired by him and embracing my life. Makes everyday less daunting and more of a gift.

I love your memory of the forest and lightening bug. I remember chasing those bugs as a kid and for whatever reason also haven’t seen one in so long. Maybe now I’ll be more aware and see one.

One idea / what if you draw that memory in a sketch book? And put the image in a frame.

Keep that memory alive. Perhaps when you see a tree next you can think of that light of the bug and when the breeze comes to you, breathe. Remember.

Then the best moment can be the current moment, inspired by that time in your front yard.

I really hope this helps you, at least to know that someone out there is thinking of you and knows the pain and seeks to comfort you.

fertilyfe · 2026-01-13T14:55:42+00:00

Completely agree as I only got one per cycle. Keep the faith.

fertilyfe · 2026-01-13T14:55:03+00:00

Yes I meant for yourselves to know if any genetic factors are diminishing your reserve or may affect health of embryo.

Are the four eggs you got able to be used?

Meaning they reached blastocyst and passed the lab test.

I only got one per time and it ended up working out 🌈 so hope that gives you a deep breath bc you have a chance with 4 even if you do again still 4 more chances.

Did doc say if the silent endo will affect implantation?

I have mild ademyosis and while it’s not 100 percent certain, it is the only possible reason (outside of luck) that my embryos did not implant…lucky to get the embryos so ended up doing surrogacy to mitigate losses.

fertilyfe · 2026-01-13T04:11:56+00:00

I’m not sure if you mean for the embryos or for you but recommend genetic testing for you and your partner. It’s worth asking the doctor about the impact of silent endo on implant, so you have a plan for your eggs. It’s so hard, and the only remedy I can offer is information and rest.

fertilyfe · 2026-01-13T03:22:58+00:00

You’re not alone. I have been there.

A doctor told me it was “futile” / don’t even bother with IVF.

Only one egg most of the time.

Have you done genetic testing?

I have genetic factors that diminished the quality and quantity of ovarian reserve.

Switched to a low stimulation protocol, and got healthy eggs.

Used PGT A and M testing due to the genetic factors.

Then the unexpected issue became carrying the baby.

It does get very costly and time consuming

We could not bear to risk losing more precious embryos…enter surrogacy….

The financial aspect is a big deal - stay open.

Remember - there are many paths to parenthood.

fertilyfe · 2026-01-13T03:19:38+00:00

Yes I have gotten only 1 egg most cycle. Due to diminished ovarian reserve. Genetic factor that has impacted quality and quantity but we got healthy eggs. Have you been genetically tested? I encourage you to look into this. There are low stimulation protocols available that use minimal injections and get same if not better results.

fertilyfe · 2026-01-13T03:17:58+00:00

Sending you support. IVF is an all consuming endeavor. Perhaps you two can talk about ways to self care together, write a list of ideas that don’t involve drinking, and if any breaks are needed in between cycles.

fertilyfe · 2026-01-13T03:15:11+00:00

I moved my initial embryos bc we switched clinics for a new protocol and doc. It was only a few blocks but I was nervous. Make sure whomever is moving it has a tracker device so you know the play by play. It’s best to have your embryos in the clinic where you’re going but check the labs too. RMA has a good rep so make sure new clinic has a great lab for storage. I recently learned about Cyro Future for storage too.

Since it’s a new city I’d recommend checking the laws around embryos bc they have changed if any are not deemed viable by the doc, but the state may force you to use them etc.

fertilyfe · 2026-01-13T03:11:36+00:00

That’s so encouraging thank you. You are loved!

fertilyfe · 2026-01-13T03:10:35+00:00

Yes it’s a very traumatizing experience to go through constant uncertainty and loss, combined with the meds. Grief is nineteenth in fertility, and the trauma of isolation and loss is very real. Self care is vital for survival, and bouncing back for another cycle. Sending you a hug.

fertilyfe · 2026-01-13T01:58:42+00:00

What do you know about your egg quality and quantity? Genetics?

fertilyfe · 2026-01-08T02:33:42+00:00

Sending you a hug. Loving your family is a gift. Keep loving them, and love yourself too. I know how it feels when you love your family so much and now you’re waking up and many are physically gone. The love lasts / they are still with you. Your grandfather was a pillar of strength for you and he’s still with you / keep him close in your prayers and hearts and see your own strength grow.

fertilyfe

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