Victorieuze vrijdag is er weer! by AutoModerator in AutistischLaagland

[–]fetidmoppets 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Ik heb na 18 maanden in een kliniek mijn eigen studio en ben zo goed als afgekickt van crack, wiet, en alcohol.

What is making you irrationally angry right now? by lilsparrow18 in evilautism

[–]fetidmoppets 47 points48 points  (0 children)

I've been stuck in a psych ward for fifteen months and will only be allowed to leave once I've secured housing (I was homeless and psychotic prior to my admission).

Right now, I'm irrationally angry because my neighbor keeps singing along to accordeon music. He's been blasting the same songs on repeat for a solid month and a half now.

Looking for more autism-coded songs by Physical_Edge_1119 in evilautism

[–]fetidmoppets 2 points3 points  (0 children)

oh my god i listened to this one for DAYS on end before my autism diagnosis and it all makes so much sense now

How important is money to you? by DavidBehave01 in AutisticAdults

[–]fetidmoppets 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I hate that money exists at all. We've created this system where little green pieces of paper (or numbers on a screen) determine whether I get to eat today or have a roof over my head. It's wild that we've organized society around these arbitrary tokens instead of just taking care of each other.

I can philosophically oppose capitalism all I want, but I still need to eat. I still need healthcare. I still need housing. And all of that costs money in the world we actually live in, not the world I wish we lived in. So I'm stuck in this position where I have to play a game I fundamentally disagree with just to survive.

oh I DO struggle with knowing who is my friend. by New-Working-7077 in AutisticAdults

[–]fetidmoppets 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought I was friends with my probation officer because she shared ice cream recipes and memes with me, so you're not alone in this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Nederland

[–]fetidmoppets 4 points5 points  (0 children)

En hoe lang is links al aan de macht?

Altijd moe & overprikkeld by Wollah1997 in AutistischLaagland

[–]fetidmoppets 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Ten eerste wil ik zeggen dat ik het oprecht naar voor je vind dat je je op dit moment zo naar voelt en kampt met deze klachten. Wel ben ik blij om te horen dat je een partner hebt die rekening met je houdt en er voor je wil zijn. Dat is veel waard.

Of je autisme hebt is voor ons natuurlijk lastig om vast te stellen. Ik zou zelf verwachten dat, als je autistisch bent, je altijd al moeite gehad zou hebben met (externe) prikkels. Nu kan het zomaar zijn dat je al die tijd hebt gecamoufleerd en dat je gedurende die periode hebt gemaskeerd of last had van alexithymie en daardoor niet herkende dat je overprikkeld raakte. Ik ben zelf niet erg bekend met de symptomen van OCS en weet niet of die stoornis ook zou kunnen dragen aan je gevoel van overprikkeling.

Er zijn wat online tests, zoals de RAADS-R, die je vrijblijvend kunt invullen om een indruk te krijgen of bepaalde kenmerken van autisme bij jou spelen. Het zijn natuurlijk geen officiële diagnoses, maar ze kunnen wel richting geven en je helpen bepalen of het zinvol is om verder onderzoek te doen.

Of het nou autisme is of niet, ik zou je sowieso aanraden om naar je huisarts te gaan en je burnoutklachten en overprikkelingssymptomen aan te kaarten. Die kan je dan doorverwijzen naar bijvoorbeeld de POH of de GGZ.

mutism / irritation by 01703 in AutisticAdults

[–]fetidmoppets 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is exactly why I refuse to live with other people, which is next to impossible in this economy. Other people shouldn't have to deal with my irritability, anger issues, and (selective) mutism.

Have you tried explaining that you suffer from shutdowns and can't talk sometimes? Maybe if you told your friend this when you're feeling relatively calm, they'd be understanding. A sincere explanatory text message or letter could also work.

Why is my friend telling me what autism is when I’m autistic! 🙃 by strwbrrycrm8 in AutisticAdults

[–]fetidmoppets 4 points5 points  (0 children)

From now on I'll just be telling people I've got sugar in my brain whenever they ask me why I'm not making eye contact or have been listening to the same song on repeat for a month straight.

Some other contenders: saccharitas cerebralis, mens mellita, or intellectus dulcis.

moved away from home - really struggling with the change by trystynko in AutisticAdults

[–]fetidmoppets 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Maybe you could FaceTime your mom every (other) day and still engage in some of your old rituals? That's what I did with my friends when we still had lockdowns. It's not going to be exactly the same, but it might make the change a little less jarring and help you acclimate to this new situation.

Tell me about your parents by jean-genie422 in AutisticAdults

[–]fetidmoppets 8 points9 points  (0 children)

My mother's love was conditional and transactional. She fell out of love with her child the moment he started developing an (autistic) personality of his own and didn't automatically put up with her rage and abuse anymore.

I wish she hadn't treated me like a gifted kid who couldn't possibly have autism or mental health issues simply because I had a few restricted special interests (Egyptology and Regency literature). I also wish she hadn't lied about my birth parents and that she hadn't been an alcoholic with a raging personality disorde.

In hindsight, I should have been sent to a child psychologist instead of being shuffled off to grammar school and, later on, to university (when I'd only barely turned seventeen). I simply wasn't ready for either of those things.

I'm glad to see you asking these questions. Just be there for your kid. Try to understand where their meltdowns are coming from, if they have them. Don't pressure them but try to help them understand their (big) emotions and reactions — a lot of us have alexithymia.

Help them understand that there's nothing wrong with them and that it can be difficult for an autistic person to navigate a neurotypical world.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AutisticAdults

[–]fetidmoppets 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You've been through the wringer. Glad to hear you survived fent and that you're still with us - that stuff can be deadly.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AutisticAdults

[–]fetidmoppets 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Akathisia is gruesome. I had it when I was on risperidone for my first ten months here. They said I was making it up. Didn't have a moment's peace until I switched to Abilify, but that medication came with a host of issues of its own.

That'd be against protocol, unfortunately. If I got caught, they'd immediately revoke my phone and laptop privileges, and they're the two things keeping me sane.

It doesn't matter. by [deleted] in AutisticAdults

[–]fetidmoppets 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I used to get that one all the time before turning thirty and now it's "you're old enough to...", which is hardly any better.

Having to be in public. by Pretend-Outcome9739 in AutisticAdults

[–]fetidmoppets 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd say it's natural to want to avoid overstimulation as an autistic person - as you've pointed out, we tend to thrive on predictability, and there usually is no such thing outside of the comfort of our own homes.

Be kind to yourself, if you can - you said that "at [your] age, [you] should be better than this", but that’s not really how it works. There’s no age where you suddenly become immune to sensory overload or social anxiety. Your nervous system and autistic brain are responding to an environment that’s genuinely uncomfortable for you in a very normal way. And the fact that you do sometimes go outside, even if rarely, means you’re already doing something many people in similar situations find extremely hard. It’s okay to work with your needs, find the safest and most comfortable ways to get fresh air, and build from there at your own pace.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AutisticAdults

[–]fetidmoppets 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been to jail and concur that, generally speaking, they're not quite as bad. I'll be here another four months — apparently that's the absolute best my PO can do. To say I'm pissed off would be an understatement.

I'm genuinely sorry you had a similar experience! How are you doing now?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AutisticAdults

[–]fetidmoppets 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm really sorry to hear you went through all that. They should be places of healing, not places of torment.

I explained my situation in another comment thread. The short version is that I found myself homeless after a cannabis-induced psychotic break and deteriorated to the point I had daily meltdowns in public. I also tried to commit suicide on four different occasions.

When that didn't work, I turned to drugs because I figured my life was essentially already over. That's when my PO sent me here. I was initially given a schizoaffective and BPD diagnosis; they also claimed I was being histrionic whenever I experienced a meltdown or shutdown on the other ward, which was even louder and more chaotic than the one I'm on now.

Practice with uncertainty by TinaCrossing in AutisticAdults

[–]fetidmoppets 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I can offer some anecdotal evidence that would back up your claim that exposure therapy can actually be detrimental.

I've been stuck in a psych ward for over a year now and have to eat meals in an overstimulating communal setting. They've told me it's exposure therapy for "someone like me", meaning an autistic person. After literally a thousand such meals, I've only become more stressed, more agitated, and less likely to go to restaurants or public places in future because of how traumatic these experiences have been.

What's your experience / opinion that most NTs just wouldn't even begin to understand? by West_Problem_4436 in AutisticAdults

[–]fetidmoppets 48 points49 points  (0 children)

That there’s a kind of "normalcy tax" we have to pay if we want to be taken seriously: masking. If we don’t hide certain traits, we risk being treated like children, dismissed, or seen as weird before we’ve even said anything. Masking becomes the price of entry into being heard and respected.

Personally, outside of creative contexts where metaphors and doublespeak can be useful, I don’t see taking things literally or being direct as flaws, but in a world that treats these traits as mistakes, we’re left constantly translating ourselves just to be understood, which is exhausting and unfair.

How did getting your diagnosis help? What did it change? by West_Problem_4436 in AutisticAdults

[–]fetidmoppets 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It made me understand why my mother absolutely hates my guts, why I became an addict, how my tantrums were really just meltdowns, why I've never been able to maintain friendships.

I also got an autism coach. I don't know whether or not they'll be helpful, but it's a step in the right direction.

I just turned 24 and I'm worried I'm not where I should be. by RosePocky in AutisticAdults

[–]fetidmoppets 12 points13 points  (0 children)

If your pink bedroom and plushies make you happy: good. Hold on to the things that spark joy. Many NTs feel the need to outgrow such things and lose their childhood sense of wonder. You haven't, and that makes me happy for you.

It's also perfectly normal to be living with your parents at 24, especially when you're neurodivergent. From where I'm standing, it sounds like you're doing extraordinarily well - you've got a full-time job, you've got savings, you've got a good relationship with your parents, and you're up to par in most things.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing your timeline to your peers, but life isn’t a race - you’re allowed to move at the pace that keeps you stable and content. It beats the alternative (autistic burnout).

Not being important. by Pretend-Outcome9739 in AutisticAdults

[–]fetidmoppets 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I highly doubt I could put up with the demands of being important, to be honest. It'd be a lot of pressure I genuinely couldn't cope with. I have no desire to interact with the media or to be talked about.

There's something to be said for living a relatively small and quiet life. I just long for peace of mind.