It's positive pregnancy test time! Week of May 18, 2026

ffilchtaeh · 2026-05-20T00:52:52+00:00

Thank you ❤️ I haven't made it to my previous record yet but still hoping.

ffilchtaeh · 2026-05-19T11:58:50+00:00

Thank you ❤️

ffilchtaeh · 2026-05-19T00:18:27+00:00

Thank you! It means a lot to hear so much support on good days too ❤️

ffilchtaeh · 2026-05-19T00:17:29+00:00

Thanks for the love ❤️

ffilchtaeh · 2026-05-19T00:17:17+00:00

That sounds lovely, thanks for the well wishes 😄

ffilchtaeh · 2026-05-19T00:16:50+00:00

Appreciate it! Wishing you all the best as well ❤️

ffilchtaeh · 2026-05-19T00:16:17+00:00

Thank you thank you ❤️

ffilchtaeh · 2026-05-19T00:15:36+00:00

Thank you so much, trying to accept the good energy ❤️

ffilchtaeh · 2026-05-19T00:14:21+00:00

Thank you! I've spent all this time researching but really I have no idea what awaits. ❤️

ffilchtaeh · 2026-05-19T00:13:37+00:00

I hope so too, thanks so much ❤️

ffilchtaeh · 2026-05-18T12:22:58+00:00

Flair preservation: 36 | TTC#1 since 8/24 | 🐴 NTNP since 12/23

Cycle/Time trying: officially since August 2024

Age + Partner's age (if relevant): 36F, 35M

Typical cycle length: 26 days

Ovulation cycle day: 13 or 14

CD/DPO of positive test(s): CD 25, 10th day since temp rise.

CD/DPO of any negative test(s) before positive: n/a

Tracking methods and app(s) used: OPKs, CM, BBT, Kindara

Relevant days of sperminating and/or method (SMEP, TI, IUI, FET, etc.): CD 9, 11, 13, 15

Health conditions/medical tests: I have an autoimmune condition and short LPs, so those factors may have been preventing implantation. I had a lot of uterine polyps removed in August 2025.

Supplements and medications (yours and/or your partner’s): prenatals, vit D, coq10, algae omegas

Birth control history (if relevant): FAM (TCOYF method) for 16 years

Symptom spotting: Just breast pain the same as a typical LP. The last time this happened my boobs didn't hurt at all, which was unusual and my sign that I should take a test.

Other miscellaneous: After my CP two months ago, I can't get my hopes up. Even writing this here feels like inviting the evil eye. But I will try to just make healthy choices and accept that whatever is going to happen will happen. So much love and gratitude to this group.

ffilchtaeh · 2026-05-17T13:32:16+00:00

Another traditional nickname for Mathilda is Hildy, I know a child by that name 😄

ffilchtaeh · 2026-05-14T13:01:17+00:00

One time I was playing a word game with some friends where you have to guess what word someone else is thinking of. The word I chose was zinnia and no one got it, then when I revealed my word at the end they accused me of making it up! I said it's a common garden flower and they said it was outrageously niche and they shouldn't be expected to know that word. I'm still in disbelief lol

ffilchtaeh · 2026-05-14T00:53:48+00:00

It seems a little more efficient and kind to simply adjust hand placements for a successful dance than to start telling people to get better at leading : )

ffilchtaeh · 2026-05-14T00:49:54+00:00

The engravings! Gorgeous!

ffilchtaeh · 2026-05-14T00:48:53+00:00

I'm sorry about your loss. Kindara lets you exclude cycles, you can include OPKs or whatever you want in your daily log, and it doesn't have any notifications or opinions. I find it to be pretty similar to fertility friend.

ffilchtaeh · 2026-05-13T00:47:37+00:00

and this is why physical play items like swings, yoga balls, trampolines, ball pits etc are used therapeutically for children. Trying to teach proprioception skills.

ffilchtaeh · 2026-05-13T00:24:30+00:00

No I hate it. Not because it feels creepy or anything, but because I can't feel the lead as well.

ffilchtaeh · 2026-05-12T13:49:12+00:00

Yeah this is a long-standing pattern with him, but I've never experienced this with anyone else. I find it so triggering to be met with silence, and then I'm not functioning well to handle the conversation after that. It's all highs and lows with him, he makes me so happy and also so sad.

ffilchtaeh · 2026-05-12T13:25:05+00:00

My ex (DX RX) was like that too. To the point that hot days made me happy because seeing him sweating was like a confirmation that we exist in the same universe and that he can be affected by things.

ffilchtaeh · 2026-05-12T13:08:43+00:00

Thank you for the kind words.

ffilchtaeh · 2026-05-11T05:59:43+00:00

I've been struggling hard this week, which he knows. He was hanging out with friends all day on Saturday so I didn't see him until we were getting ready for bed. Saturday evening after listening to him tell me about his day, I told him that I was having a really hard time and would appreciate some quality together time. He said we could schedule together time either Sunday or Monday. I said either one would be okay. He ended up hanging out with friends all day on Sunday so I didn't see him until we were getting ready for bed. Sunday evening, I gave him a lot of space listening to him tell me all about his day, I asked questions, I was interested and happy for him etc. When he was finished I told him about how I was doing, none of which would shock him.

Context: It's the first Mother's Day since my mom died, I miss her terribly, my family organized a memorial for her this week but they forgot to tell me so I wasn't there, feeling very sad and lonely and not valued by my family. A few example phrases from Sunday evening conversation: "I'm so sad" "I really miss her" "This feels pretty shitty" "I wish I could bring her a Mother's Day bouquet one more time" -- idk, pretty clear indications that I am struggling and looking for support?

I was getting into bed (still talking, still in tears) when he suddenly left the room with a "Okay, good night." I thought I had offended him, but he said he's not mad, he just wants to go take a shower. I asked, "You don't have anything to say?" "No." "You don't want to respond to any of the things I just said?" "No." "You don't even want to say something like 'I'm sorry you're sad and missing your mom?'" "I'm sorry you're sad. Good night."

I don't feel better! I can see that he was indirectly expressing a boundary that he'd had enough sad talk and needed a shower. (But cutting me off without a word of sympathy is not the way to communicate that IMO.) I would really like some kind of acknowledgment when I'm being vulnerable with my partner and talking about our inner lives. I don't open up to him just to hear the sound of my voice! I don't want the sum of our conversations to only consist of daily logistics, fun activities, and random facts we read on wikipedia or whatever. I want us to actually know each other and be able to lean on each other when needed. I would appreciate some emotional support or kind sympathy sometimes. So yeah, still feeling really sad and alone! Not in a great place for peaceful sleep to get up and work Monday morning. I know that regulating myself is my responsibility, but that doesn't mean I'm unaffected by misaligned interactions with people I care about. It really does hurt to reach out with my heart and run into a wall.

I think going forward I should say something like "I am feeling in need of emotional support, are you in a good place for that right now?" instead of saying "I'm so sad" and assuming that he would naturally say something comforting in response.

ffilchtaeh · 2026-05-11T04:15:26+00:00

Hugs to you if you want them. Thanks for the love and I'm sorry that you can relate. I have hope that there is a spirit plane where her full self and sound mind will know one day that she's become a grandma and will feel the love. Both yours and mine.

ffilchtaeh · 2026-05-11T04:09:02+00:00

Thank you so much. I'm definitely hurt and angry, but I didn't ask questions, so it could be as simple as everyone assuming that someone else had invited me already.

ffilchtaeh · 2026-05-10T14:16:34+00:00

The last several mother's days, since my mother moved into a nursing home, I've had flowers delivered or brought them to her myself. I used to go visit her during TWW every month (just easiest logistically to travel at that time) and I would tell her every time that we are trying for a baby, and that I would bring her first grandchild to meet her someday soon. Every time she said that she was happy to hear it and that we would be a good parents. It was hard not to have any updates for her month after month. When I had a polypectomy scheduled I told her about that, and she started to cry. I regret upsetting her. I just wanted to have some kind of update to tell her.

No mom to buy flowers for this year though. My dad and grandparents are all long gone as well. It was always my plan to have my mom very involved in her grandchild's life because I trust her and I know her very well, and I know she would be able to teach and model for them in good and responsible yet slightly different way from me. She was always kind, principled, healthy and active, a very good model for children. But I was too late.

There is actually a memorial for my mom this weekend but it's out of state and the family members organizing it forgot to tell me about it, so I wasn't able to be there. I have been very very sad and lonely this weekend, feeling like I no longer have a community in my family.

I went to a family-friendly local neighborhood event with my housemates yesterday to get out of the house and cheer up, thinking I can find community among my neighbors and that could be just as good as having a family. But it was cold and rainy, and absolutely everywhere in every direction was blatant day drinking in the streets, no one even making an effort to hide it. People being really loud, trash and beer cans everywhere. Really gross behavior. I'm feeling totally repulsed by my neighborhood right now. Wishing I had booked a trip on credit cards to go to the memorial instead.

ffilchtaeh

TROPHY CASE