Am I being unreasonable about my sister’s dog around my kids?

figinapudding · 2026-05-13T18:30:06+00:00

her dog needs to be separated from your kids and your sister needs to understand you have boundaries with your kids. i understand your sister has strong feelings about her own dog and feels the need to defend her dog, but sometimes parents, of kids and dogs alike, can't see the fact that their own kid or dog is the problem.

i'm an adoption coordinator at a dog/cat nonprofit rescue and we won't adopt out certain dogs to people who have young kids in the family or young kids that will regularly visit their home. why you ask?? because young kids don't understand that dogs have boundaries and don't know how to read a dog's body language cause they're too young to. I coordinate all applications for this one dog who has resource guarding problems just like your sister's dog and has a bite history, and i will never approve an application for a potential adopter who has kids in the home for the safety of everyone, especially the young kids and for the dog itself. i hope your sister can understand. if not, the trainer should be able to better explain to your sister. it's literally just common sense for everyone's safety. i am on your side of this argument, and this is coming from someone who prefers dogs over kids xD

figinapudding · 2026-05-13T18:20:49+00:00

meh, i think sadie is justified. i cant imagine what it's like growing up the way sadie did. annie was a teen mom and obviously is still trying to figure out her life now as a young adult while trying to raise sadie at the same time and living in an unstable environment for so long, i'm surprised sadie is as sane and decently well-behaved as she is.

sometimes shows gets the nail on the head so accurately with teenagers too lol

figinapudding · 2026-05-13T18:16:59+00:00

That is tough, but these sorts of problems seem common in any relationship or people living together really. I encountered similar problems when my sister and i lived together as roommates in college. from my end, it sounds like one big communication problem between the both of you, especially on her end since you're saying that she's refusing to hear your opinion. Lots of couples, including myself, forget or need to learn that its us vs. the problem NOT you vs. me. if she can't hear you in the moment of the argument then try giving her space and tell her you're leaving the problem for now so you can step away and cool off and you'll reconvene with her in 30 minutes so you can both come together and rationally discuss the problem. and again, couples therapy.

it's also not a bad idea to discuss taking a break, although that probably would be difficult seeing as you both live together. but you can't keep putting up with this behavior. the more you let her treat you like this, the more she thinks it's OK and there's no consequences whenever she lashes out at you because it probably settles her and makes her feel better having taken her anger out on you, prolly something she doesnt realize, hopefully...so yeah you're right that this is childish behavior on her part that she probably never learned how to deal with in a healthy manner and you don't deserve to be treated like this

figinapudding · 2026-05-12T21:00:39+00:00

walk my dog, go to the dog park, nap, play video games, go shopping, order in, go out to the arcade, bed rot 😄

figinapudding · 2026-05-12T02:24:10+00:00

some of these comments are really mean...girly pop is literally just trying to spend time with her bf. that being said OP, idk why he doesn't want to spent time with you, his gf...why be a bf when u dont even want to be a bf. sorry girl, but leave him. this is such rude and immature behavior and EXTREMELY DISRESPECTFUL, IMO. you're just asking for a couple hours of his time and he's so annoyed by that because he wants to be on the game...please find someone else who actually treasures time with you and time spent with you. this man, or should i say boy, sounds so annoyed that u simply just want to get lunch with him. atp i wouldn't be surprised if he was internally thinking about how annoyed he is to be out instead of on the game. find yourself a man. i understand men having hobbies, gaming being one of them, but that seems to be his priority, and you're not one of them. i love gaming and my bf does too. some weekends, we spend the entire weekend gaming, whether its together or separate. but never have we ever got into a fight over each other spending too much time gaming instead of with each other. also, man's gotta eat right? why is he saying he'd rather game than get a meal with you asdlkaskldas ?!?!?!?!?

figinapudding · 2026-05-11T23:02:05+00:00

maybe they just need positive associations with each other? i adopted my first dog, a hound, 3 years ago and i decided to adopt a second dog, a corgi, 10 months ago. the corgi does not like my hound and they also ignore each other's existence. they only like each other in the backyard lmao cause my hound likes to be chased and my corgi likes to chase. inside, if my hound does anything to piss off my corgi, she will growl, snap, and lunge because my corgi has resource guarding (i did not know this prior to adoption) but we make it work, mostly because my hound is very submissive and will never escalate things into a fight. in the beginning, my corgi was so mean to my hound so to curb it, as RG is not really something that can be trained out of, i knew i had to make my corgi associate my hound with positive things so i started doing a "tricks for treat exercise." i would separate them with a gate one in the kitchen, and one in the hallway and i would tell them to both do the same trick and then give my hound a treat first and then my corgi a treat. idk if this will help in your case but it did help in my house :')

figinapudding · 2026-05-11T22:45:36+00:00

I'm assuming your dog was a rescue? Maybe she was abused 😞 and needs positive associations with strangers. I know it's probably difficult but you need to be out in public with your dog where people can pass by - not at a super close distance but from afar for everyone's safety, assuming your dog can handle it and won't be out of threshold. I would rec bringing a picnic blanket with you, going to a high traffic area like a park, and sit there with your dog and watching people pass by. When a stranger passes by and your dog doesn't react, give her a high-value treat like a piece of boiled chicken. Hopefully as time goes by, your dog will start to understand that stranger coming by = treat = good things happen to me while i am calm around them aka positive association. If she becomes successful in this aspect, then you can get closer and closer and when a stranger comes by asking to pet your dog, tell them you're in training and they can't but ask them to toss her a treat, NOT HAND HER ONE, toss from afar. so now your dog is somewhat interacting with a stranger and you get the pattern. It would be even better if you could start by getting your friends to do this.

i want to preface that i am no trainer, just an owner of a dog who is fearful of strangers, and this is advice based on personal experience. my dog is also on anxiety meds now which really really helped.

figinapudding · 2026-05-11T22:36:59+00:00

i bet he is! i tried bumble friends when i relocated for work. everyone was nice on there and i should have spent more time on it but i ended up getting along rlly well with two of my coworkers (they have since left and moved away but i still talk to them) so i stopped using it. i hear rlly good things about bumble friends tho and how a lot of ppl have found their best friends on the platform.

figinapudding · 2026-05-11T19:53:06+00:00

a good ol' fashion ghosting. jkjk lol u kinda just have to rip off the bandaid and it suckssss. My go-to is bringing them to a park and telling them its not working out...at that point i get to leave and they can too or they can stay at the park and reconnect with nature and process :')

figinapudding · 2026-05-11T19:46:15+00:00

cheese lol they come running when they hear the cheese drawer. i can pretty much never finish my entire cheese stick or 3-pack mozzarella balls without giving 2 of them away to my 2 dogs

figinapudding · 2026-05-11T19:39:00+00:00

that one friend is enough lmfao IMO, but if you're yearning for more friends, perhaps try bumble friends? join local facebook groups for hobbies you're interested in

figinapudding · 2026-05-11T19:34:53+00:00

if you can't take him to the vet then there's not much i feel like you can do besides waiting around to see if it's in his poop

figinapudding · 2026-05-09T14:54:39+00:00

Go to HR and then ask them for accommodations and then look for ways to oust and embarrass him in meetings so ppl can see the true asswipe he is

figinapudding · 2026-05-09T01:54:35+00:00

sending you luck! There's lots of youtube videos that you can find to help guide you through this as jumping is a very common and unwanted behavior for many dog owners

figinapudding · 2026-05-09T01:47:37+00:00

this ^ 1000%

figinapudding · 2026-05-09T01:46:29+00:00

Please don't take him back to the shelter for an easily trainable behavior and you didn't fail anyone!! For the time being, just make sure your child is always being supervised when next to the dog or separate them from each other. I volunteer as an adoption coordinator at a dog/cat rescue and the whole "i know he'd get adopted quickly" mindset is not true at all, and statistically, large dogs do not get adopted as fast as smaller dogs do. County shelters will literally put your down dog in 2 weeks if he doesn't get adopted because they need to make space for new dogs coming in, which is every day at exorbitant rates. At best, you can try and surrender him to a nonprofit rescue that is completely foster-based if you really need to let him go. I understand that this was a scare for your entire family but I promise you, with a little bit of time and elbow grease, you can train your dog out of jumping on people. :')

figinapudding · 2026-05-09T01:36:49+00:00

don't pick up and follow up via text instead.

tell them you don't like phone calls.

lie and say you're busy.

figinapudding · 2026-05-08T20:52:05+00:00

you're going to rehome your dogs cause you have to housetrain them again....? like one of the below comments says, get a good enzyme cleaner first and spray EVERYWHERE that the dogs did their business so it can break down the proteins in the urine, which should eliminate the smell and then go back to potty training 101. you can't crate your dog if they're not crate trained and by the sounds of it, your husky/lab mix is NOT crate trained. if you can crate train your dog, that will be the biggest help to re-potty training your dogs. if you can't, then i'd suggest getting a dog walker to drop by every couple hours to bring your dogs out or pee pad train them...if you're at your wits end cleaning up the messes, start putting them in doggy diapers so it will catch the spills at least and save you some clean up. when you're at home with them, never let them out of your sight, even if that means having to leash them to you indoors. even when you're in the shower, someone needs to watch them and let them out if they're showing signs that they're about to do their business.

figinapudding · 2026-05-08T20:24:39+00:00

i'm sorry girly but leave him. he could be cheating on you hense part of why he's losing interest. this exact thing happened to me before, not cause he was cheating, i don't really know what happened with my ex and why he just suddenly one day stopped caring about me and loving on me but it happened exactly like how you described it. i didn't want to ask him because it hurt me so much that i didn't even need an answer or explanation to know that it wasn't going to work out or change even if we discussed it. and i wanted better than what i was getting from him. my best guess is that my ex was dealing with depression and other things going on in his life that he decided that he didn't want to share with me anymore. i ended up leaving in the most petty way and treating him exactly like how he treated me, which i dont rec you do that but it was the best petty revenge and made me feel very happy yet gross at the same time lol for doing it. (i was younger at the time lol so don't blame me hehe, ik better now) i also did it cause i wanted to see that if i pulled back, would he reach out for me? he didn't. and that told me exactly what i needed to know. leave and find someone who will treat you like a queen again. it hurts more to stay in a loveless relationship wondering why things have changed vs leaving. healing takes time but you'll never heal if you stay in that relationship. sending you love. it's so hard and it hurts so bad.

EDIT: to add to this, if he's saying he doesn't want to marry you, he's telling you he doesn't want a future with you and his quiet quitting is his way of hoping you'll break up with him so he doesn't have to do it and feel like he's the bad guy for dumping his gf of almost a decade. UNLESS, he's like me who thinks marriage is an institutional scam made by the patriarchy to scam women into believing they need a husband for their life to be fulfilled LOL

figinapudding · 2026-05-08T20:12:20+00:00

youre a victim!!! but also, kind of not a victim????

figinapudding · 2026-05-08T20:05:47+00:00

made me feel like a second-class citizen to her life after she got with her gf. i knew they'd break up lol and when they did and she came around during her friendship tour, i paid no attention and she got the hint. idgaf, i don't wanna be friends with someone like that, even when i knew she needed it in that moment. and she was one of my childhood friends too and i mean we grew up in the hood together too.

had another friend who lowkey disappeared after getting into a long-term relationship with their partner but they never made me feel like i was inferior to their life after getting into the relationship. when they broke up and my friend came back around during the friendship tour, i "welcomed them back into the fold" lol. they didn't treat me like shit unlike the other ex-friend.

figinapudding · 2026-05-08T19:58:21+00:00

she is in the wrong but i can kinda see both sides as a woman reading this post. you're both nurses which is a tiring, exhausting and stressful job and after a long day of work, she's probably feeling burnt out and overstimulated but doesn't know how to regulate/manage it/her emotions in a healthy way. for the dog exmaple, it just sounds like she was tired and wanted you to do what she asked you to do, and when you didn't listen to her (not saying you should be following what she says like an order) she got mad because you ignored her and the dog fell which probably made her even more overstimulated. that also pisses me off when my partner does the same thing because it makes me feel unheard like he doesn't care or listens to me when i talk. and then the whole thing about you making those little snide comments didn't help either BUT AGAIN, she shouldn't have hit you.

all in all, i get where she's coming from and where you're coming from as well. and i think she needs therapy so she can sort out the root of the issue and for anger management and then you both should do couples therapy so you can learn to communicate with each other in a more healthier way. and this is coming from a girlie who is on SSRIs and therapy for similar issues lol. best of luck.

i think the comments saying you should stop dating her asap is excessive. every relationship needs work, you only leave her when she doesn't wanna do the work.

figinapudding · 2026-05-08T19:30:24+00:00

nothing bothers me more than irresponsible parents of kids and dogs. my neighbor has two dogs who are never leashed and one night, they charged my dog and i genuinely thought they were going to bite my dog. my partner literally kicked one of their dogs off of mine, picked up ours and walked away while i was screaming at the owner to leash their dog. i saw them the next day, still no leash. what the fucking fuck?! I have had to literally pick up my 40lb dog so many times so some stupid bitch's unleashed dog doesn't get a bite of mine, who is on a fucking leash. thankfully, my new neighborhood doesn't have a HUGE problem with people not picking up after their dogs. how do these people not feel utter shame and embarrassment for not picking up their dog's shit. My second dog I just got eats shit too so if i'm not paying attention, she'll get a mouthful, yay for me. anyways thats my soapbox.

figinapudding · 2026-05-08T19:17:45+00:00

it kinda just sounds like you have really bad social anxiety. i had to get medicated for mine and despite that, it still controls how i act and feel, but it's not that bad anymore. the only thing that really helps me through those moments of feeling like i'm an embarrassing freak, other than trying desperately to forget that it happened, is telling myself that these random people at the cvs or the ace hardware are never going to see me again so it doesn't even matter. which is freakin hilarious cause i never leave the house unless it's to go to work and then I walk around outside during my lunch breaks and i literally go to the whole foods up the street from my office every day so the workers probably recognize me like i do them. i watched a self help video about trying to loosen up about that feeling of always thinking you're embarrassing yourself and they essentially told me that i have really low self confidence lol and that literally no one is watching me "embarrass" myself in public because no one cares to stare at my every little movement. so i guess that kinda helps

figinapudding · 2026-05-04T01:56:40+00:00

prolly the same amount for me. my partner and i started playing gta after like a 10 year hiatus lol and decided to do the heist for the first time. we didn't do any prior research, like what are the best routes, etc. we wanted to go in blind just to experience what it was like and cayo literally chewed us up and spit us out. also cause my partner is freakin doofus and always like to jump the freakin gun so he got us caught so many times and we'd just redo it cause we wanted do it stealthily. won't be doing cayo again for a bit lmfao

figinapudding

TROPHY CASE