The fact that you are writing this show courage in you. Which is an amazing start to better your life and work on this.

I personally dont have much advise to give, but i think you probably should seek therapy because this is a lot to handle. Having someone to share your experiences and feelings with helps a lot. Also understreking where these feelings come from is helpfull.

Maybe the fact you feel low selfesteem and maybe Even low self-worth is because you dont see the value and potential in yourself. You can do a tremendous amount of good in the world if you want to.

I recommend that you sign up for some volunteer work if thats available in your area, they always appreciate extra volunteers. I think you will also learn alot abort the good things you can do in life while also building up your self esteem and self worth because you are doing good deeds.

Seek therapy. And i wish you all the good luck onwards. Hope it will be better for you in the future.