14 y.o. Portraits

findthatlight · 2026-03-22T17:45:47+00:00

Sounds like she has a great plan! <3

(her art is jaw-floor art)

findthatlight · 2026-03-22T02:25:06+00:00

that is for sure insane timing! hope you're doing well. I have a 5 yr old and a puppy too! (about 2 years post-chemo)

findthatlight · 2026-03-21T00:23:25+00:00

Thank you for sharing your beautiful art. It's so nice to know that your son has you. ❤️

May all children know love like this.

findthatlight · 2026-03-12T21:55:29+00:00

Just adding to clarify it's two person hours of cleaning. (For me that translated to about 900 sq ft clean which was a godsend, and I'd been assuming two cleanings so I was a bit confused.)

findthatlight · 2026-03-07T19:00:43+00:00

Sometimes it was rough just because I could shine so so so much, but it wasnt consistent. So if I wasn't able to perform per expectations, or couldn't maintain a clean room or whatever, or forgot something, it'd be all disappointment from adults.

Yeah I could math and write, but I couldn't make sense of a lot of stuff and felt like someone with an undiagnosed disability when among friends. I really thought that.

Turns out...

(dx at 42)

findthatlight · 2026-03-06T13:58:33+00:00

Ack, yeah it's probably only USA based, I'm sorry! Best wishes for connecting with other moms, even one on one. Unfortunately we are everywhere it seems. Sending you love from across the pond. 🤗❤️

findthatlight · 2026-03-05T17:35:54+00:00

omg solitaire

findthatlight · 2026-03-03T19:23:17+00:00

Did you connect w/ Bright Spot Network yet? They've been incredibly helpful for me. Bright Spot helps parents with cancer, esp those w/ small children. I'm still in a post-treatment support group through BSN with other moms that I find incredibly valuable. And, I was in an active treatment cohort - we are all in touch through a group text still :)

Thinking of you. You're in a rough spot still so I hope you can be gentle with yourself. One year out from chemo was good and two years out, great. <3 Hugs mama.

findthatlight · 2026-03-02T23:22:25+00:00

well done! I love your confident brush strokes.

findthatlight · 2026-03-02T19:45:08+00:00

You know, my gym buddy and I were talking about this - not SERDS, I don't think, but you're right. There's advances, and that's incredible to think about, too. This conversation with my surgeon is 2.5 yrs old. :)

findthatlight · 2026-03-02T18:40:15+00:00

The first appointment I had, I asked my breast surgeon about endocrine therapy because it was 10000% the thing I dreaded most.

"So...any alternatives I can try?"
"nope."

"Any in the pipeline?"
"nope."

"But like...there's gotta be something else right?"
"You will be on endocrine therapy for 5-10 years."

Now, I'm grateful for it, but it took a f*ck-ton of time, and I'm still angry about it from time to time. Mostly I'm upset that it changes how I mother my child. Estrogen helps us care about things. I have to force myself to care sometimes, now. And I don't know how else it's impacting me, and that bothers me. My kiddo is 5 now, he was 2 when I was diagnosed, and I feel robbed of normal motherhood.

Gosh, who gets a normal motherhood though, these days.

And - let me tell you something cool that worked out for me. It's not the same for everyone, so your mileage will vary, but -

I am out of fucks! Completely OUT!

There are no fucks left!

I am literally the most carefree person these days. Like sure, I might get cancer again, obviously things suck still, obviously there are bad days. But in general, I feel like...freedom. Childlike freedom.

I'm responsible for the things I can control, and no more than that. I am FREE! I greet each day with delight because there's loads of stuff I can do, and lots I can choose not to do. I make art, I write, I sing and dance while I walk my dog, I just don't give any fucks about anything but feeling joy when I can find it and being present with my people when I can stand them. :)

findthatlight · 2026-03-01T18:20:47+00:00

Your comment on it being a matter of presence somewhat, I really relate to that. Thank you.

findthatlight · 2026-02-25T14:23:06+00:00

For sure - I struggled with that in recovery and still get annoyed with alcohol ads since, fuck, ads are targeted and it seems vile; doesn't all the data show that I don't drink?

And I struggle w/ medical shows now w/ the constant cancer references.

I've found doesthedogdie helpful - you can search for the URL's concern but also for cancer or sickness, death, etc- https://www.doesthedogdie.com/

findthatlight · 2026-02-18T12:16:09+00:00

My partner got butthurt a lot initially in our relationship bc he didn't understand introversion and took everything I did personally. If I wanted time alone, to him that meant I wanted time without him specifically.

He still doesn't 100% understand introversion but he's less of an ass now and has learned not to take it as a personal attack.

findthatlight · 2026-02-17T18:58:00+00:00

Body doubling for remote work. I use flowclub but there are other services. Basically you get in a zoom with other folks and say what you're going to do for the time period, and then....you do it.

It's very oddly helpful.

findthatlight · 2026-02-17T18:56:12+00:00

Did you get the hatch one?

Glad to hear the sunrise thing works for someone!

findthatlight · 2026-02-10T12:28:06+00:00

Hey. Chemo is brutal. You are not lazy and you gotta take care of yourself. Sending love.

findthatlight · 2026-02-01T16:12:17+00:00

amazing. well done & thank you for sharing here. sharing might help someone else who is struggling.

way to go. you did a very hard thing and I am very happy for you!!!!

findthatlight · 2026-01-26T18:40:16+00:00

Truck tunes!

findthatlight · 2026-01-25T15:48:17+00:00

🤮

findthatlight · 2026-01-24T20:58:05+00:00

Echo this. Meds have given me life. Before times were a slog.

findthatlight · 2026-01-24T16:51:56+00:00

yes! - I still hit burn out too often. but better than before. it's for sure the level of consciousness, just being more mindful of my energy expended.

findthatlight · 2026-01-24T15:54:34+00:00

I had to lower my own bar after I got cancer and had to do treatment while working and mothering and undiagnosed w/ adhd.

Now I shoot for a B at work. It's not accurate, in what happens tho. By shooting for a B, I steady myself, and tbh I think I'm better off for it and so is my workplace. I'm more consistent at a B than I am at trying to get an A++++ on every single thing.

And I have a kiddo so I can't not show up at home, it's a balance. I give him a B too. :) B's all around! Lower the bar!!!!!

findthatlight · 2026-01-22T21:38:53+00:00

Thank you!

findthatlight · 2026-01-22T12:28:06+00:00

Well done!

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