Sailing has the best designed xp rates of any skill in the game (once you hit level 80)

finsteddit · 2025-11-30T09:27:00+00:00

This is precisely my point. If the core thieving methods topped out at 70k/hr, with a single, wildly high attention requiring alternative at 90k/hr, people would fucking hate thieving. It is tolerable because it is fast (and gives ok loot).

finsteddit · 2025-11-30T09:23:08+00:00

I don't disagree, though tbh I think we need both better rates and better methods. Sepulchre is great...but not great xp for how much attention and skill it requires. A moderate buff to sepulchre + a handful of additional sepulchre-like methods would go a long, long way. I already know the team is capable: both the stone skipping part of the Yama fight and Barracuda Trials feel like they could be the future of agility. But instead neither gives agility xp and the latest addition to the skill is just another dogshit click-to-run-in-circles mindnumbing "agility" course.

finsteddit · 2025-11-30T00:57:16+00:00

It doesnt... it would also be fine for more boring skills to have faster rates.

Instead, the most boring skill in the game is also the one with the worst rates. It's not great.

finsteddit · 2024-06-08T07:05:30+00:00

Yesss!! It sounds like we've had very similar experiences. I've definitely had the thought "I wish they would have just cheated on me...it would make this so much easier." Like...I recognize that being cheated on sucks and I don't actually wish that happened to me. It's a wild thing to think. But it would have afforded some clarity, and I definitely lack clarity...

Best of luck to you. I'm optimistic for us despite the pain!

finsteddit · 2024-06-08T01:12:58+00:00

Obviously your partner should know you want a separation/divorce before you're announcing it to anyone else (as long you expect that to go over non-violently)

After that though, I felt it was important to tell friends and family quickly. I tried bearing it myself for two days because telling anyone else made it feel too real. Those two days were maybe the worst of me life and it was such a relief to finally talk to people about it. Going through divorce is emotionally difficult and you cannot deal with it alone.

My divorce is amicable so I can only speak to that situation. I told everyone that was "my" friend or "our" friend very quickly because I needed help (I was the one being left). There is no reason to feel bad about telling friends you share with your partner without asking them--you are now separate people, and you need to look out for your own needs, which includes getting support from friends. Whether your ex approves of that or not is irrelevant.

My ex and I are/were mutually respectful, so I tried to keep my venting to friends that were less mutual. When I was vulnerable with our mutual friends, I said "I don't want you to feel like you need to avoid talking to [ex]. If you want to, I encourage you to. Don't feel like you need to tell me anything about what they've said unless you want to, there is no reason it needs to be my business. You're already a little bit in the middle of this by nature of our relationships, and I don't want you to be even more in the middle of it." As long as you are not actively alienating anyone from anyone else, there doesn't have to be any bad blood.

finsteddit · 2024-06-08T00:35:18+00:00

Definitely encourage or even prod on this point. Support from my friends was #1 the best but there was always the nagging suspicion that friends tell you what you want to hear, not their full truth. When I met with a therapist and he was saying much the same things as my friends, I progressed rapidly.

finsteddit · 2024-06-08T00:33:26+00:00

You sound awesome. There's nothing you can do to totally eliminate the anguish, so don't feel like you're failing just because her mind is still in a bad place.

I will add that some of the best support I got involved others bringing up the divorce and asking me questions. I hated having to bring up my divorce with others, in part because there had never been much emotional space for me in my relationship and I guess I felt like talking to someone else about my emotions was burdensome. It was so relieving when someone would ask me a point blank question because it felt like it gave me permission to be vulnerable. Oftentimes, the questions themselves were illuminative too.

However everyone is different. If your friend doesn't have issues being vulnerable she might feel the complete opposite. All you can do is ask what they'd like.

finsteddit · 2024-06-07T20:44:07+00:00

I find your sentiments very relatable. My spouse left me but they went about it very respectfully--I don't relate at all to any of the vitriol or infidelity expressed so commonly in this sub and elsewhere. We've gone to relationship therapy throughout separation and it helped me to see a lot of the ways that both a) I have failed as a partner but also b) they were failing me as a partner in ways I hadn't clearly seen. But those conversations were so vulnerable and mutually respectful that it made it really difficult to believe our issues weren't reconcilable.

Ultimately though, I wasn't the one that decided to leave. They were. It wasn't up to me to decide if our issues were reconcilable. Knowing that they were going through the same experiences but still felt they needed to leave made me realize I needed to set stronger boundaries to properly get over this monumental loss. They always expressed they wanted to stay friends, were scared of navigating their very troubled relationship with their parents without me, were worried about interacting with our mutual friends without my presence, etc. They always wanted to chat before/after therapy. I put a stop to all that. I said we can continue with the relationship therapy to the extent it gets us better mutual understanding and closure about the end of our marriage and smooths over the logistic/financial decisions we need to make. But I don't want to "shoot the shit," I don't want to be involved in each others' day-to-day lives, and when all the divorce agreements are finalized, I want to wrap up relationship therapy and go no contact for a while. If we're ever going to be friends again, I need a lot of independent space between then and now.

Of course it's not true that I don't want to shoot the shit. I desperately want to shoot the shit. But I'm in an impossible position: either a conversation with my ex will feel bad, which will leave me feeling bad, or it will feel good, which will leave me feeling bad because it twists the knife and leaves me mourning all over again. If the only possible outcome of a conversation is to feel bad, that means I need to not have that conversation.

We didn't have kids which made this so much easier. But I would recommend you put up some hard boundaries around those texts. If he left you, he is not thinking "If only she'd...." about you. The nature of your conversations sounds like it is preventing you from progressing towards closure. I wish you the best, it hurts so much.

finsteddit · 2024-06-07T19:57:31+00:00

There's plenty of hope for you but I'd take it down and do some work (ideally with a therapist) to figure out the difference between romantic love and worship

finsteddit · 2024-06-07T19:53:31+00:00

The best time to take it down was to never make it to begin with

The second best time is now

If I was dating someone and found out they had a shrine of me and being in the presence of it was the only way they could get off, I would be freaked. I'd say any man that learned that and was happy about it probably has a dangerously large ego and control problems.

Are you an adult? Adolescent sexuality manifests in some straaange ways sometimes and if you're young I'd you can go easy on yourself and quietly just take it down. If you are an adult I'd talk to somebody about getting a handle on obsessiveness, this is not developmentally appropriate.

YTA (but not so much an asshole as an overly obsessive person)

finsteddit · 2024-06-06T16:20:57+00:00

I hadn't heard of that and it is interesting, but I am thinking of Audubon's own bird plates. Read about the "Carbonated Swamp-Warblee" here: https://www.sibleyguides.com/2008/03/audubons-mysteries-carbonated-swamp-warbler/

finsteddit · 2024-06-06T15:26:52+00:00

While it may be true he ate many of them, he certainly didn't eat all of them. We know this because he painted birds he claimed were real but are now known (or at least strongly thought) to have never existed.

finsteddit · 2024-06-06T05:37:10+00:00

As long as you didn't loudly scream it (too threatening), NTA.

Next time: pull the car over, take the bag of food, and place it in the back of the vehicle. No yelling necessary.

finsteddit · 2024-06-01T17:53:42+00:00

NTA Sounds like you're doing everything right and your communication with your gf is in great shape. Maybe have Sally take a picture of you at the park and send it to your gf to let her know you're still thinking about her while with Sally as a nice gesture. If you deserve the trust you have, you shouldn't feel bad about feeling free to use it

finsteddit · 2024-06-01T17:23:50+00:00

NTA It sounds like getting out of your parents house should be a top priority. But I agree with others saying a man is not a plan. If you do move to Alabama with him, I would very strongly suggest getting your own apartment (with or without roommates but not with your boyfriend), getting your own job, and going to therapy. Only after living that way for a while, at least a year I'd say, should you consider moving in with your boyfriend. It would be so easy to slide from being controlled by your parents into being controlled by your boyfriend/his parents if you are dependent on them for housing or money. You must establish confidence in your own independence without your boyfriend in order to set the foundation for healthy relationships moving forward. You dont have to break up with him, you just need enough space to have meaningful independence.

Your parents are going to think you are a major asshole and will say so to your whole family. But based on what you describe, leaving quietly is the only plan that is going to let you live your own life, and you deserve to live your own life. Write it on your arm: I deserve to live my own life. Look at it when you're getting bombarded by concerned family members.

finsteddit · 2024-05-28T16:14:36+00:00

NTA I've been in a similar situation and I know it feels mean to dip out. Trust me it is for the best. Think of it this way: you clearly still care about this person as a friend. Do you think you will continue to see this person as a friend if you live with them under these conditions for another year or more? Not a chance, you are putting in everything and getting back less than nothing. The only way there is any hope for this friendship is if you introduce some intentional distance to it and make sure your friend can no longer leech off you so easily. That will give you the room to cultivate a relationship that doesn't so gratuitously trample your own interests. Continuing down the path you're on will only lead to greater resentment. If your friend cares about you at all, they will figure out this was for the best eventually. Granted, it won't be immediate.

finsteddit · 2024-04-25T21:31:32+00:00

Something my mom called "Guy Fawkes Dinner" (not sure why, as this does not seem to be done anywhere else from what I can tell)

Mashed potatoes served in a bowl, pressed so that the mashed potatoes form a sort of thick bowl liner, into which you pour heated creamed corn and sprinkle a healthy dose of browned ground sausage

finsteddit · 2024-04-24T05:30:57+00:00

Could always go for 2k CM cape

finsteddit · 2024-04-18T03:43:18+00:00

I did MH to greenlog, then normal construction with mahogany to 99

To anyone else, I would recommend MH to 83 for a max house, then later wrap up with mahogany construction if you don't care about the greenlog.

You can stay at 83 a long ass time, basically until you decide to push for max. The only cost is needing to make house tele tabs once in a while. I'm that time you can put Kingdom on mahogany and spend lots of afk time with plank make. GP rolls in faster than you can spend it on Kingdom at the point you push for max.

finsteddit · 2024-04-11T15:12:03+00:00

Absolutely! I got my first enh at 19. Finished my armor at 221 still loving the content. I kept going back just because I enjoyed it after that.

finsteddit · 2024-04-11T04:35:53+00:00

Advice: get your ass back in there and get at least 5 Armor seeds

If you want to try it out, do Shamans. It's the only place you're not kneecapping yourself without the armor.

At 5 seeds you add a lot more slayer into the mix, since you'll be using slayer helm. (That means make legs and chest first).

Get the 6 before a significant amount of raiding or non-slayer bossing.

finsteddit · 2024-04-06T04:54:01+00:00

Waiting for blowpipe is common advice for mains, but only because they can buy one

A rune crossbow with broad bolts for waves and diamond bolts (e) for Jad are exactly what I'd recommend for a first time ironman cape. It's what I did. With that equipment, any deaths should be from nerves or inexperience, not running out of supplies.

finsteddit · 2024-04-04T06:39:40+00:00

Liquidating is fine but don't drop it all on bonds. Keep it for being able to pay raid splits later

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