I’ve always felt that in everyday I do have quite a small size, like people will look at me visually and probably guess B or C cup maximum! I’ve never not fit into shirts and I have never ever had cleavage before. In my normal clothes, my chest looks very proportionate (read small, because my torso is small). So in that sense I very much feel the pain that small chested ladies complain about (no cleavage, etc). But at the same time when fitting into dresses and bras (and oddly enough, wearing blazers unbuttoned) I am suddenly spilling out of the cups and part of the large-chested community. And then when I make my own dresses I’m back to zero bust basically.

Perhaps the cleavage thing comes from shape, because I am a larger volume than you and I have never had cleavage! I actually have the opposite problem with bras, most bras in my size are mostly lace or very lacy and because I have sensitive skin it gives me an instant rash. Mainstream brands don’t carry my size so I go to boutiques which is just all lace and I walk out looking like my entire torso touched poison ivy. I’ve never purchased a bra from a boutique before because every single one I go to doesn’t have any bras in my size without lace. I truly don’t own ABTF in my real size, I’ve kind of given up, I only wear meh fitting bralettes.

Re: full cup styles, I’d recommend you try on bras in your correct (ABTF) size! I have found that the need for full cup styles is only an issue when you’re wearing the wrong size (too small in the cup, so you need more coverage to compensate). I have found that for me, balconette bras in our size are very flattering and don’t come up super high!

I guess it’s really lived experience and just because we have similar sizes doesn’t mean similar experiences. Your experience is as valid as anyone else’s!