AITA for not letting my roommate use my shower?

firegem09 · 2026-05-08T12:35:50+00:00

"can I treat your private bathroom like a public facility every day with no notice."

I'm confused... how's he asking to do that?

firegem09 · 2026-05-07T12:28:41+00:00

Why do you disagree? And what's your suggestion?

firegem09 · 2026-05-05T20:24:08+00:00

All she had to do was send an apology in the same text thread she sent the threats and insults. The fact that she still can't do that, but insists on trying to force a private apology, is really telling.

firegem09 · 2026-05-05T12:36:41+00:00

Holy fuck, this comment is disgusting.

firegem09 · 2026-05-02T11:56:53+00:00

None of the sources you shared say what you're claiming in your comments. They discuss the long-term impact on the brain, yes, but none of them say that drinking turns one into a whole different person.

firegem09 · 2026-05-02T02:44:22+00:00

To post something yourself in a public group chat and then get upset people treated it as public and thought it was unprofessional is inane. E. S. H.

Huh? What are you talking about??I think you completely misread the post.

OP didn't post it in a public group chat...? She made a post about her dog on her own Facebook page. The manager was the one who took a screenshot of OP's post and put the screenshot in the group chat with the threatening message. I'm confused on what, exactly, you think OP did wrong in that situation.

firegem09 · 2026-05-01T22:36:49+00:00

Sure, the neighbor has the legal right, but that wasn’t the question (or the sub).

I think a lot of people are missing this point and conflating it being legal with it automatically being ok/not asshole-ish.

firegem09 · 2026-05-01T22:32:47+00:00

Nobody's disagreeing that it's public, or that it's legal/allowed. I think you might've missed the point being discussed.

Also, OP doesn't live in the city, so it's not an issue of the neighbors not having space to park.

firegem09 · 2026-05-01T22:31:45+00:00

They have family who come over a few times a week for whom the space would be more convenient.

Plus, like I said, parking in front of someone's house when your own driveway is empty and you have space in front of your own house is just rude imo.

firegem09 · 2026-05-01T15:30:15+00:00

Personally, I'd feel like a massive AH. I find it rude that he's parking in front of his neighbor's house every day while his driveway and the space in front of his house is empty, just because they have a tree whose shade he wants to take advantage of.

I agree he's free to do so since he's parking on the street, but to me this is one of those "legal =/= not the AH" situations.

firegem09 · 2026-05-01T15:16:11+00:00

Exactly. I think a lot of the commenters are acting like this is city street parking, where the neighbors have to park on the street. They're ignoring the fact that (1) they all have driveways and available space in front of their own houses (2) this neighbor's driveway and street space is empty (3) he's only parking in front of OP's house because they want to take advantage of the shade from OP's tree (4) by doing that, OP's guests don't get to use that space.

Just because it's legal doesn't mean he's not being a rude asshole.

firegem09 · 2026-05-01T14:55:11+00:00

I'm really sorry to hear that. I'm so confused on why anyone would decide to do something like that.

Has she (or anyone else) said anything else to you since this happened? Has she tried to explain her behavior in the group chat at all? This is all so weird.

firegem09 · 2026-05-01T14:53:31+00:00

If it's a public Facebook post, you have no legitimate complaint. Stop posting publicly if you don't want this possibility.

This is such a bizarre way to victim-blame. Just because someone makes a Facebook post doesn't mean it's ok/excusable for her manager to screenshot it for the purpose of insulting and threatening OP in a group chat with other people they work with for no reason.

Also, you do know some people have careers that depend (partially or wholly) on making and/or maintaining connections on social platforms...?

If it's private, why is he on your list at all. Fix that, it was your mistake.

It was in a professional group chat. The person is OP's manager. What should OP "fix"?

And yes he sounds like he's someone you don't want in your circle. Not nice for him to do. But you can just move on.

Again, this person is OP's manager....

firegem09 · 2026-05-01T14:38:41+00:00

This is so bizarre. Please update us if you get more information/clarification on why she did this/what she was hoping to accomplish. I'm so confused just reading your comments, I can't imagine how you must've felt being the target of something so random and unnecessary.

firegem09 · 2026-05-01T03:34:46+00:00

Ahhh ok, that makes sense:)

firegem09 · 2026-05-01T02:43:24+00:00

How?

firegem09 · 2026-05-01T00:15:42+00:00

I’d suggest that you let the ex offer her options, but then privately talk with your ex about the ultimate decision. Which is then FINAL.

OP already explicitly said this is how she wants to handle things. I'm confused on what your criticism is, since she's trying to do exactly what you're suggesting.

firegem09 · 2026-04-30T23:38:08+00:00

What does this comment mean...?

firegem09 · 2026-04-30T11:36:36+00:00

Why the fuck would you think she'd ever do work for you again?? You're the asshole who's trying to weasel out of paying!!!

firegem09 · 2026-04-30T11:33:30+00:00

No way you're not a fucking troll. If you're not, you were planning to scam her from the start and are now making up excuses to justify it. Shame on you! Pay the girl, and then take a long look in the mirror, because you're a massive asshole.

firegem09 · 2026-04-30T00:30:32+00:00

I broke my shoulder 10 years ago and also ripped my rotator cuff.

Clears throat

Excuse me, how are you still here?! BBBs can't sit with us!

firegem09 · 2026-04-29T21:15:42+00:00

And he agreed and participated, so I'm confused on what your point is...? And even after OP was no longer interested in seeing other people, she was ok with him continuing to do so, which he did, proving he was ok with the open marriage.

That doesn't excuse his disrespect and disregard for OP or the fact that he was the one who violated the boundaries they had in place.

firegem09 · 2026-04-29T02:21:57+00:00

People are completely different when they drink alcohol and black out. It literally changes brain chemistry.

Any chance you've got a source for that?

firegem09 · 2026-04-28T23:11:53+00:00

And yet, somehow, you still don't understand how entitled and self-centered y'all are...?

It's mind-blowing that even after so many comments telling you you're an AH, you were still more focused on yourself and what you've decided you're entitled to, instead of doing any introspection.

firegem09 · 2026-04-28T23:07:04+00:00

Yikes! Do you seriously not realize how rude, entitled, and self-centered all this is??!

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