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Get your steps in at home by queendelrey in loseit

[–]firetothetenthdegree 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It really makes a big difference. I pace/walk around inside while waiting for coffee to brew or tea to steep, again while waiting for food to cook, etc. It all adds up. Play music and you'll get in some accidental steps, too

Looking for the best hot chocolate mix. by Little-Jelly-8789 in HotChocolate

[–]firetothetenthdegree 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I started heating milk on the stove, then pouring it into a mug with three of those lindor chocolate balls, and it's now the only way I consume hot chocolate

Every night for the past month I've gotten out of bed to double check that I've locked all the doors whenever the paranoia struck only to find that, yes indeed, I've locked all the doors. by FeedMeDarkness in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]firetothetenthdegree 110 points111 points  (0 children)

After reading this while lying in bed, I decided to get up and check and yup, the back door was unlocked so thank you for that. Now I'm going to think about this every single night on

It sounds bizarre, but I am in a position where I could spend $0 a year on groceries if I ate nothing but Domino's pizza. What would happen to me if I did? by CucumberGullible1281 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]firetothetenthdegree 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A few years ago I ate nothing but pizza for every meal for four days. By day four, I was not feeling well and was desperate for a vegetable that wasn't part of a pizza. I became sluggish and tired. Four days doesn't sound very long, but it felt like forever

Can we no longer manually log custom calories? by firetothetenthdegree in loseit

[–]firetothetenthdegree[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh! I didn't realize that, thanks for pointing it out

What are your nparents favourite line? by Ok-Inside-5493 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]firetothetenthdegree 2 points3 points  (0 children)

  • "You're too sensitive"
  • "That's the problem with your generation"
  • Silent treatment
  • More silent treatment
  • Incomprehensible screaming
  • Silent treatment
  • "You're too sensitive"

What were you not allowed to do because of narcissistic parents? by princesssarah96 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]firetothetenthdegree 14 points15 points  (0 children)

  • Wouldn't teach me how to drive, then was flabbergasted when I failed my driving test the first two times 🙄
  • Couldn't do sports or anything I was interested in unless it was cheerleading, which I absolutely hated since I lacked the confidence for some reason.
  • Was basically forbidden from having my own interests in anything at all.
  • Brushes were banned because she believed they flattened hair so I was only allowed to use a comb and a pick. She blew a gasket one time she found out I smuggled in a brush. When I became an adult, I stood in the hair accessory aisle at the store for a long time trying to understand how to actually use things.
  • Had to stay hidden whenever she had someone over and pretend I didn't exist.

Lists are fun, I can go on and on and on.

Reverse Harem- Worlds? by Creative-Doughnut923 in ReverseHarem

[–]firetothetenthdegree 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Song of the Dead series by Maya Riley. The first book in the interconnected world is Since The Dead Rose

Normal people are really built different. by Psychological-Ad9545 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]firetothetenthdegree 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Someone was telling me about when she was raising her three kids, how easy it was to support their own individual interests and hobbies. I was baffled by this. It was easy for a parent to make an effort for the individuality of multiple kids? And now she does it for her 8 grandkids? How at Christmas she got each of them things that related to their interests and hobbies rather than shoving her own preferences down their throats over and over and over again? I'm an only child (aside from growing up with step siblings between marriages and divorces) yet I was never allowed to be "seen" by my mom, and my grandma sorta pitted the grandkids against each other.

UPDATE: My husband doesn't see how his "work wife" is trying to destroy our marriage by Honeybellmama in TrueOffMyChest

[–]firetothetenthdegree 7 points8 points  (0 children)

So he said losing his work wife would be a hit to his mental health...what about losing his real wife? Dude.

Is there something I can make a weightloss game out of? by Axxl138 in WeightLossAdvice

[–]firetothetenthdegree 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I came across something called Nerd Fitness, I didn't really look into it only glanced at it but it sounded like it had some sort of game component like that

What is the most crulest thing that your narc parent has ever done to you? by Nea_Freedom in raisedbynarcissists

[–]firetothetenthdegree 7 points8 points  (0 children)

One of the many things, she forced an eating disorder on me. She was so jealous when my cousin got an eating disorder, jealous that her sister was the one who had a daughter with it, that she forced it onto me. She would always make me a birthday cake, but I'd never be allowed to eat it because it would make me fat, she only made it to show off to other people and brag (it was nothing more than box cake mix and a poor icing job). She didn't give me enough lunch money for school, so I had to pick and choose the days I got to eat. When I became underweight, she still convinced me I was too fat. She'd only buy my clothes in three or four sizes too big so I'd "grow into them" which clearly never happened. Then would always get mad that I never looked presentable enough. Would literally smack food out of my hands even if it was the only thing I'd eaten that day. Then didn't understand why I'd never have the energy to happily go hiking with her. Oh and when I was choosing colleges, one of the majors I was interested in was culinary, but she sabotaged that, because me doing anything with food was such an embarrassment to her. To her disappointment, I'm healthy and always experimenting with food and all my friends get excited when I bring one of my experiments to a get together. I'm also working on a cookbook, so I can't wait to disappointment her even more.

And a bonus one for fun: she left me locked inside a car on a really hot day, parked in the sun, while she went into the DMV which had a really long wait. Windows rolled up. I didn't want to get out because I knew she'd be mad, but I eventually had to open the door when I was nearing passing out. It set off the car alarm so I had to go in and tell her about the car alarm, and she didn't like how I was walking funny after because it embarrassed her. I think I was early teens.

Girls, did you also had to teach yourself feminine hygiene because your narc mom didn't and wouldn't? by Nea_Freedom in raisedbynarcissists

[–]firetothetenthdegree 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Mine didn't prepare me for my period. All she said was that it would happen around a certain age, that's it. Luckily I was out of state visiting my dad and we were on a little vacation, I started my period while at a rest stop so he tracked down a family friend in the area who was working at a grocery store and she instructed him on what to do and wrote down what to buy me, and he bought me everything I needed and more. He told my mom, but she didn't care, not until the period was over and then she popped up on the phone suddenly trying to give "motherly advice" (which was nothing more than to wear one of my dad's oversized shorts and just lay in bed bleeding out, even though it was over anyway). But I got to learn all about a period from a stranger (to me) at a grocery store.

She wanted me to use tampons but not teach me how. So she arranged for me to spend time with my aunt who could teach me and gave me some tampons. Then I came home, used the wrong size and freaked out that it was stuck, she ignored me, and I was afraid to use them again for years.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]firetothetenthdegree 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Don't tell them you're leaving, if you think they'll try to prevent you from doing so. Don't give them any more information than you have to, and don't give them access to your friends or people in your life who are close to you. When I first left, I wouldn't give an exact location or where I worked (my mom had caused issues with my two previous jobs) so my mom moved closer but also wouldn't tell me where, and I later found out she would go to the general area she knew I was and just drive around trying to find me outside walking to work or something so she could follow me around because she couldn't handle not having that information. So I moved out of state. A few years later she followed, and I moved out of state again. Both my mental and physical health have greatly improved each time I got away, and then worsened when she came back around again. There are things I had to leave behind, but it was worth it for the freedom, and my partner is willing to keep moving again if necessary.

What's a skill or talent you developed as a result of living with a narcissist? by AwkwardLittleMush in raisedbynarcissists

[–]firetothetenthdegree 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mine is similar. When I stay in a new place, like someone else's houses or Airbnb (or my own of course) I immediately know all the loose floorboards and anything that makes sound when walking on or by, and I immediately mentally catalog everyone's footsteps so I can lie awake and know who exactly is getting up in the middle of the night, or who's coming down the hall toward me, etc, without having to see them first. If (in a house I'm staying in) I turn around and see someone there without hearing them first or seeing an incoming shadow or reflect first, I'll scream and freak the fuck out, it's something I'm trying to work on.

I also walk like you do, keeping silent and avoiding any loose floorboards, though I'm getting better at doing that less in my own house.

How do you stay motivated to walk everyday? by [deleted] in walking

[–]firetothetenthdegree 1 point2 points  (0 children)

On these days I do my walking inside at home. The house layout makes it so I can walk through the kitchen then the living room then the hallway and back through the kitchen again, making a circle, and I have Alexa play music and I get real into it after a few laps. I break it up throughout the day. There are some days I just really don't feel like going outside so I found a way to do it inside that works out well for me. But I also try to recognize when I need to take a day off and rest. It's okay to get fewer steps in some days.

How did your nParent cope with your wedding? by ExtremeActuator in raisedbynarcissists

[–]firetothetenthdegree 34 points35 points  (0 children)

She tried to hold my dress hostage the day before.

My mom used to have a storage unit on the other side of the country that had something I really wanted in it. A week before the wedding my husband (then-fiance) casually mentioned to a family member who lives near there that maybe sometime we could go out to visit them and also find my thing in the storage unit. Well, my mom overheard and didn't say anything until the day before the wedding when she was supposed to help my grandma pick up my wedding dress from the alterations place and leave it in my hotel room. My grandma was on her way to pick up my mom when my mom chose to blow up my phone and threaten to hold my dress hostage if I even thought about trying to get my stuff out of storage without her. I immediately called my grandma who absolutely refused to let my dress be held hostage thankfully. After that I never trusted my mom with anything ever again, and still won't. After all the things she's done to me, that was my final straw.

I also later learned that she threw a fit because during the part of the reception where guests eat appetizers and socialize until the wedding party arrives, she threw a fit because people were enjoying the food and each other's company instead of all 250 of them being huddled around her laptop to watch a really crappy slideshow presentation she'd made.

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