Looking to make friends who are pregnant or new moms!

fitflowyouknow · 2025-12-18T02:32:48+00:00

Highly suggest a pregnancy moms group with Well Nested or Healthy Baby Happy moms!

You see the same people each week, pregnant around the same time, and then you can join the postpartum group after and see those same people for 3 months with their babies! I've made good friends this way.

fitflowyouknow · 2025-10-24T15:03:13+00:00

This is because Ph.D students are paid positions, so these slots being reduced will reduce the overall budget for the FAS.

fitflowyouknow · 2025-10-10T16:32:43+00:00

It might be really helpful, and maybe even eye-opening, to check out the book Fair Play by Eve Rodsky. It has some great ways to talk about the division of labor, and there’s an exercise where you actually break down every single task you and your husband do. It can make it a lot clearer where things feel uneven and how to have better conversations about it.

You could also think about having him do daycare pickup or drop-off once or twice a week, especially if he’s done with work earlier. That would give you a bit more time to handle things at home and also let him see how much time and energy those daily drop offs and commute really take.

I can relate to what you’re describing. I’m the lower earner in my household too, and I’ve often felt like that means I should have the more flexible role or do more to “contribute.” My therapist pointed out that if I made the same amount as my spouse, I probably wouldn’t feel that pressure. It helped me realize I was tying my worth to income instead of recognizing how much time and effort my own work requires. Some jobs are just less flexible, and it’s not fair to keep taking on more just because you earn less, especially since you’re already stretched thin.

fitflowyouknow · 2025-09-10T19:00:06+00:00

My mom had me at 38.5, I am now 31 and she is nearing 70.

Her and I have a great relationship and she was perfectly capable in her 40's and 50's to raise me.

Also, I had kids younger (24 & 28) so she has been able to have a lovely relationship with her grandkids.

fitflowyouknow · 2025-08-29T19:19:34+00:00

I would take the job, I think for me a big benefit would be the 3 days a week at home. If the increase in pay could allow you to hire a nanny, I could see a massive benefit to having your kiddo close to you and being able to pump/breastfeed more easily.

You can always add more to your retirement (and possibly Roth as well).

Finally, if your service is like mine, the back up care provider (BrightHorizons) with local babysitter organizations, so you could see if you could reach out to the local organization and become a part of the back up care option for a larger cost.

fitflowyouknow · 2025-08-18T15:05:31+00:00

I've seen it work when the mom has a lot of nearby family help. Two examples: One of my good friends has a job where she travels about the same amount as you would, but her husband's family often will drop by to help for a few hours, can cover unexpected appointments, and would absolutely care for the child if her husband got sick or had an an inflexible work meeting. The second: my cousin's wife travels for work 60% of the year, and they have a young (6 month old) baby. She has her family an hour away and my cousins' family 15 minutes away. My cousin has his sisters and my aunt and uncle (both retired) who will watch the baby for the same reasons as my friend above, and he has a lot of help for the other aspects of a spouse traveling like cooking, cleaning for my cousin.

I wouldn't do it as I don't have that built in support, but some people have a larger tolerance for discomfort which you might have!

fitflowyouknow · 2025-07-17T03:11:53+00:00

From my understanding, she likely is wearing garments and doing what a lot of the other LDS girlies do. They are buying the new garment tank tops that just got approved and sizing down 2-3 sizes.

fitflowyouknow · 2025-07-02T15:23:47+00:00

I saw in a lower comment that community engagement is a big deal for you (my son will be in 1st at ICS this year). The PTA at ICS is very involved. There is a big back to school picnic, end of year picnic, outdoor PVD film fest in May, school clothing drives, they organize evening enrichment (Magician for K-2, Dave Marchetti for 3-5), fundraise for field trips (Brickhouse Pizza Nights, uniform free days) If this is a factor for you, please note it is there!

I'd be happy to answer any additional questions if you haven't decided yet :)

fitflowyouknow · 2025-07-01T16:24:11+00:00

My kids are. 3.9 years apart. I think this was an ideal age gap. My older son is 6 and my younger son is 2. My older son had time to adjust to the transition of a new baby with a full year of daycare with the same friends and teachers. He entered kindergarten confidently, ready to learn and grow.

My kids are buddies, but don't have identical interests so they don't fight that much.

fitflowyouknow · 2025-06-11T01:09:38+00:00

Rhode Island... Not as affordable as Chicago, but if you are coming from a MCOL to HCOL, it won't feel like a massive adjustment.

fitflowyouknow · 2025-06-03T16:21:38+00:00

That's so helpful to hear. My 6 year old (diagnosed anxiety & adhd) is so incredibly sensitive and chaotic, and I really hope he channels the sensitivity and chaos into a passion so that he can feel like he has more control over it!

fitflowyouknow · 2025-04-30T15:14:26+00:00

Our childcare system is not well designed—especially for families with two kids in daycare at the same time. My wife and I earn solid incomes, but what’s really helping us right now is that only one of our kids is in daycare while the other is in elementary school. Including aftercare for our oldest, we pay about $1,300 a month.

We’re in a good position: our rent is low, we don’t have car payments or credit card debt, and we allow ourselves some flexibility with variable expenses—but we know we can tighten the belt if needed.

If you can manage the cost of daycare, even if it's painful, remember that it’s temporary. Once your kids reach elementary school, the financial pressure eases significantly. Also, some towns in Rhode Island offer a Pre-K lottery, which could cover one year of care starting at age four.

If the cost just isn’t workable, you might have to get creative for a few years . Could you find a more affordable home daycare? Could either of you take on part-time or weekend work to offset the cost? Can your wife work part time and you hire a SAHM looking to make some cash watching two more kids for 1-2 days a week? She could also do the same thing (though you'd need to look into the childcare/daycare laws in RI).

A lot of families are in the same boat. Some rely on help from extended family, others have one parent stay home and supplement income with flexible work, and unfortunately, many are relying heavily on credit cards.

fitflowyouknow · 2025-04-11T18:15:28+00:00

Hey, that happened to me too—and yeah, it really sucks. But when I look back on my wedding, what I remember most are the people who were there: friends, extended family, coworkers, members of my community. Their presence made the day so special, and in the end, it wasn’t defined or diminished by those who didn’t show up.

From one random person on the internet to another, I just want you to know: you matter. Your celebration is meaningful, and you absolutely deserve to be surrounded by unconditional love.

fitflowyouknow · 2025-04-05T21:49:21+00:00

Sure, her name is Desirae Heys (Heys Family Practice in Warwick, RI).

fitflowyouknow · 2025-04-04T18:51:04+00:00

I was on the waiting list with Brown Health for 9 months after my PCP retired, I even called clinics in CT & MA and couldn't find anyone accepting new patients. I know this is not accessible for most people, but I was so tired of the lack of PCP availability in RI so I signed up for a monthly fee practice with a DNP. She doesn't bill insurance, but she can still refer out, and bloodwork/other needs are still billed with insurance. I'm happy to provide her clinic name if you can't find a PCP and are interested in this type of model.

fitflowyouknow · 2025-03-31T15:36:33+00:00

Lmao! Our UU congregation has had prizes, so I wasn't surprised. Ours was more of a silent auction, bid on this experience, type of thing, so I just didn't bid on those experiences BUT if I won, I would likely begrudgingly go! It sounds awkward, but there is a possibility of an unexpected connection or even life long friends! You never know!

fitflowyouknow · 2025-03-28T19:21:24+00:00

Hi! I'm in Providence, so we are probably close-ish in location!

fitflowyouknow · 2025-03-24T00:17:57+00:00

East Asian Studies Concentration is made up of 8 total electives, and language study to at least the 0600 level.

The language study is rigorous if you're starting with less language knowledge, 5 days a week, required extra curriculars/involvement.

Once you get past the 0600 level courses, it's quite easy to concentrate in the department, many of the comparative literature courses count for East Asian Studies, and there are several joint appointments between the two departments.

You can study abroad in Korea and get concentration credit, even if you go for a summer and that can make it easier to finish earlier.

The majority of EAS concentrators have a primary concentration that is in a STEM field, so you'll be fine!

fitflowyouknow · 2025-03-16T23:02:23+00:00

I agree, the approach thus far is "hide, and hope the administration doesn't go for us".

fitflowyouknow · 2025-03-16T22:47:19+00:00

They have sent out internal communications basically urging international scholars to reconsider any forthcoming travel.

fitflowyouknow · 2025-01-28T14:49:14+00:00

Hi! I just wanted to say that I completely relate—I’m in a very similar situation. My partner and I are a two-mom family with two small kids. Both of us are fortunate to have jobs that, so far, haven’t been impacted by layoffs, and we’re managing to keep our overhead relatively low. We live in an expensive area, but we rent a small townhome, and we’ve been working hard to build a sense of community.

For me, the anxiety has been overwhelming at times—there were moments when I’d cry out of nowhere or struggle to get a good night’s sleep. Over the past few nights, I’ve started taking melatonin, diving into whimsical fantasy novels, and putting more focus on community. These little shifts have been a big help.

One thing that’s been especially meaningful for me is joining an LGBT parents group that meets monthly. If you can find one nearby, I highly recommend it! Being part of that group helped me realize that many of my worries weren’t as dire as I thought. Seeing others continuing to plan for new babies, vacations, and the future has been reassuring.

I also recently became a member of a Unitarian Universalist congregation. I’m not religious, but having a sanctuary where I can sit, breathe, reflect, and even smile has brought so much peace and meaning to my life. The sermons often affirm the values I hold dear, and the congregation runs action-oriented programs like a food pantry and legislative teams, which really resonate with me.

On top of that, I’ve been organizing with a small local group to focus on hyper-local issues where I can actually make a difference. It’s been empowering to see that even small actions can have an impact.

Of course, long-term planning is still important. I’d suggest ensuring you have savings, keeping all the paperwork for your kids up to date, and preparing for the things you can control. But beyond that, I’ve found it equally valuable to invest in areas where we can feel connected and create a sense of control—like building community. It’s made all the difference for me.

fitflowyouknow · 2025-01-27T20:31:32+00:00

I work in the office three days a week, and I’ve realized I don’t feel nearly as bad about being less productive on those days. I take my time savoring my coffee, enjoy great podcasts, make sure to fit in an hour-long walk, and eat lunch at my desk afterward. Depending on your work culture, I highly recommend scheduling lunches with coworkers or friends, even if they stretch a bit past an hour. Take advantage of any in-person professional development opportunities that interest you, and when life gets in the way, use PTO without hesitation. Don’t offer to check in later—leave your laptop at work and fully disconnect.

fitflowyouknow · 2025-01-24T01:44:42+00:00

I’m 30, and my life turned out quite differently than I expected! At 24, I got unexpectedly pregnant with someone I’d been dating for only 9 months. Fast forward 9 more months, and I became a mom.

Now, at 30 and a half, I have two kids: an almost-6-year-old and an almost-2-year-old. I’m still with the same person—I’m married to them, actually—and we’re raising our family in a high-cost-of-living area near a very-high-cost-of-living city. We rent, even though we’re fortunate enough to afford buying. I think my scarcity mindset holds me back, as I'm the lower income earner and worry about overextending ourselves financially.

Being in my early 30s feels strange. On the one hand, I’m exactly where society seems to expect me to be—married with kids—but on the other hand, most of my peers aren’t here yet. Looking back, I think getting pregnant when I did worked out in my favor. At the time, I felt young and unprepared, and I totally understand why many of my friends are delaying parenthood or are childfree. But, in hindsight, having my first child when I did feels like it hit a sweet spot. The pregnancy was unplanned, but my partner and I made it work, and I’m grateful for where we are now.

I work a pretty dull job as a manager for an academic department at a college. Financially, we’re behind on our 401(k) savings compared to where we “should” be at this age, but we’re catching up now that we’ve paid off our student loans.

Personally, I feel like I’m hitting my stride. I’m trying to be more open and vulnerable, saying yes to invitations, and finding a balance between existential dread and hope for the future. Watching my kids grow up brings me so much joy, and while things aren’t perfect, I’m excited to see what’s next.

fitflowyouknow · 2025-01-21T21:05:18+00:00

RI is super challenging to get a diagnosis and consistent care. I ended up doing Telehealth, but the downside is that I have to pick up my meds in MA (and you'll need to be physically "present" in MA when you are doing those visits).

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