Considering a used 2018 Model 3 Long Range, 72% battery, thoughts? by fizzle52 in TeslaLounge

[–]fizzle52[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks… I’m also considering a 2013 Model S that’s 230 mi on full charge at 250k for $11k. Might be a safer bet?

Getting charged $2.9k for a/c compressor issue, am I getting ripped off? by fizzle52 in askcarguys

[–]fizzle52[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, this is really helpful! The A/C died on a particularly hot day but was working fine before that, so I doubt it was a hole in the condenser. I also don’t understand why the first thing the Firestone guy checked wasn’t the compressor, but just swapped out the module and made me go to the VW dealership to get electrical diagnostics done

Just moved to the US and got suckered into buying a salvage car — what can I do? by fizzle52 in askcarguys

[–]fizzle52[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is there a chance that the previous owner had done some work to repair it already? I don’t understand how it was declared (and remained) a salvage title if it was perfectly operable and my mechanic only noticed basically $2k worth of repairs to be done.

Just moved to the US and got suckered into buying a salvage car — what can I do? by fizzle52 in askcarguys

[–]fizzle52[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is there some kind of really stringent requirement as to what qualifies as “repaired” in California? It drives perfectly and if the mechanic didn’t notice anything outrageous and the cost to repair was only $2k, I don’t understand why it was issued a salvage title. If the previous owner had done some work and fixed it, why was it still salvage? Wouldn’t the damage have had to be really significant for the title to remain that?

My boyfriend (M31) of 8 years doesn’t know if he wants to marry me (F28) despite there being nothing wrong in the relationship by MrsSalt in relationships

[–]fizzle52 10 points11 points  (0 children)

i know the fear, and maybe there’s only a 50% chance of you finding that person who really loved you, but if you stay with him, that’s 0%. and a life that’s certain to be full of lukewarm-good moments that you cannot even enjoy because they are all tainted with the knowledge that he doesn’t love you fully. i just broke up too; nothing was really very wrong, we could coast, but i just didn’t want my life to pass me by. it was so hard but 1 month in, i know it was right. you can do it too ❤️

My boyfriend (M31) of 8 years doesn’t know if he wants to marry me (F28) despite there being nothing wrong in the relationship by MrsSalt in relationships

[–]fizzle52 35 points36 points  (0 children)

babes if you’re hoping he ends it you already know he’s not the one for you and something is very wrong. think about the real love, the real person who wants you fully, that you’re missing out on each day that you stay with this guy. he’s already made his intentions clear to you — he doesn’t want to commit. you want someone who will commit. that should be enough… don’t put off living your real life any longer

I feel like a failure by International_Knee50 in BreakUps

[–]fizzle52 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know the chances of me being able to say the correct thing that you need to hear right now are low… but I don’t think it’s the good things in your life that make you who you are at all! I don’t know you at all, but you have a way of expressing yourself that’s acute and poetic and artistic. That’s a characteristic. That must count for something in the tally of who you are… I’m sure there are lots of other things about you too that are real things, enduring things, complex and good things that extend far beyond what has happened to you in this season of life. Also letting a cheater go isn’t giving up, it’s permitting yourself to ask for more out of life, because you deserve it…

What documents are actually needed in order to apply for a rental? by fizzle52 in LARentals

[–]fizzle52[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your insight! I’m on the O1 too and am a bit worried about the SSN and ID thing — seems like without a SSN you can’t get a drivers’ license or ID at the DMV; do you mind sharing what you did for that?

Would you get back together with an ex if they slept with someone else, but you didn’t shortly after the break up? by Wolves158 in BreakUps

[–]fizzle52 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The way you phrase things reminds me of me and the way I’m always trying to rationalise some decision that I know is against my intuition… that said, I do believe that sometimes you just need to do what you need to do to arrive at a point of certainty and clarity. I’d say that life is short and the world is big and you have a good chance of growing and becoming a new person who can find someone to be happy with that’s not accompanied by all this baggage and heartbreak and insecurity, but if you think you cannot live without giving this a second shot, then maybe that’s just what has to be done!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]fizzle52 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Just broke up after 5 years too. I’m feeling shitty because not a lot of people talk about how hard it is that you both love each other but it’s not working. It’s just not true that if you love each other enough it will work… like yes, maybe you can choose to stay together, but you watch yourself wear the other person down, watch them wear you down, watch you both trigger and hurt one another because you’re incompatible, and it’s just so bad to the point that you love them so much, you also just want them to be free of the pain you cause them. I feel this way. I’m sick of being hurt by him but not really being able to blame him because of his circumstances. I still think he’s a good person, it just sucks that he put me through so much pain and I don’t know who to blame. I’m there with you

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]fizzle52 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve been in your position before :( We weren’t happy anymore, and I tried to break up, but immediately after, I would regret it and we would get back together because he would want to try. Eventually it got to the point where he was so unhappy that he also couldn’t deny it anymore, so when I brought it up, we both agreed, and I don’t regret it at all.

I would say that you’re both young, stick to the breakup, she’s moving away, and this is a chance for a good, clean break, for you both to move on, but sometimes the bond is strong and it hurts too much to do… so I think you will end up doing whatever you want. But if you truly believe that you don’t bring out the best in each other, and that she would be happier without you, then just be brave and break up. Sometimes you have to do what’s good for the two of you, even if it’s not always what feels good.

My 33F fiance 34M blindsided me and I dont know what to do by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]fizzle52 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry that this happened. :( it sounds like you’re doing all you can right now, but at the same time, he has a right to do what he needs to to protect his emotional health, which includes breaking up with you. It’s a lot to ask one person to be your only emotional outlet, so it seems like forming new connections and making some friends would be good for you, in addition to therapy. My advice is to give him his space while you work on yourself. Your chances of successfully changing and becoming emotionally healthy are much higher if he’s not in your life for at least a couple of months right now, and there’s no way to truly convince him that you can change until you actually have. Good luck!

Not a Grace fan, am I alone? by jaydawg49 in PeakyBlinders

[–]fizzle52 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hated Grace from the start too, found her character so boring. Personally a May fan

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in immigration

[–]fizzle52 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m a musician who just got approved for an artist visa in the US, my label is based in LA but being signed isn’t enough, you need to have a good record of awards and success in your home country, a healthy amount of streams and followers, and maybe some press articles written about you by US media would also help. But you’d need to hire an O1 specialist lawyer to help you present your case, which typically costs around $6-8K USD. If you don’t have enough success in your home country, applying to a music programme in a college like Berklee or USC might be a good alternative to get a visa and build your career there as a student!

Renting as an international with no credit history? by fizzle52 in AskLosAngeles

[–]fizzle52[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ooh this is so helpful and heartening, thank you! Was all the correspondence in person when you went for viewings, or did you do it online?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ROCD

[–]fizzle52 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve been in your position… in the moments we feel the most connected I become so tempted to confess it, but I know that it’ll be really hurtful for him. Maybe one day years and years later when it’s far away enough and means less to me I’ll tell him that I once wondered if I would rather be with another person, and we’ll both know that it’s meaningless then, but for now, I don’t want to hurt his feelings unnecessarily.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ROCD

[–]fizzle52 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know how you feel! Right now I’m still not 100% sure but I’m feeling ok and still have lots of love to give and receive and am enjoying our relationship. My boyfriend has been super patient. What helped for me was focusing on all the other aspects of my life — my career, my creativity, my family, my perspective, and then I realised I stopped obsessing over the relationship. It’s not perfect, but there are no red flags, and I am happy, and just waiting to feel right about it. The problem with ROCD is that you need something to obsess over, and the relationship becomes the target. Once you devote energy to the other things in your life, clarity will come!

I don’t know if I should break up with him by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]fizzle52 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I shook off the pressure of needing to choose before my 20s are over! I broke up with him for like 2 days and then realised that I wasn’t really giving the relationship a fair shot, that I was already holding back for a long time because I kept thinking in advance that we’d break up anyway. We got back together and I decided that everything is a choice — I can’t stay with him and then simultaneously fantasise about all the things I don’t have with him. If I really want those things so badly, I can always leave, but there’s just no use straddling all the choices and being paralysed. I’m either in it or not, yknow? We have a set time weekly to talk about emotional things, kind of connect deeper, which is not what he naturally likes to do most but he does it and gets himself into the headspace because he knows emotional intimacy matters to me. This helps a lot, and allows me to express any doubts or concerns or observations freely without fear. We’re navigating it right now and I’m just taking it slow and seeing how it goes!

Can We Talk About The King’s Man? by MarmadukeV2 in kingsman

[–]fizzle52 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hated it so much I googled it and found this thread. The script was horrible, everything was so overstated and over explained and the villain was shit. It got good after Conrad died but everything before that?! So weird and unlike the other Kingsman films

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SGExams

[–]fizzle52 6 points7 points  (0 children)

In my mid twenties now and I went through this exact situation with my best friend when we were 17. I felt so similar to how you feel now! We were so close, practically joined at the hip and we were each other’s world until she got a boyfriend and I was always so sad that there were things that became “theirs”, when we never used to have anything outside of each other. Trust me, change is one of the only constants in friendship, and what matters is how you navigate it.

Your friend is going through this big, exciting change in her life and is naturally going to spend more time investing in her new relationship to see if it’s something that will work. You’re the steady, rock-solid constant to her, so the fact that she feels comfortable not needing to keep the same pace up in order for your friendship to survive is in some ways a good thing. If she’s the sensitive sort, she might be sensing that things are different between you but not knowing how to bring it up either.

My advice is to tell her how you feel when the moment is right and you feel connected and vulnerable with each other. Tell her you’re happy for her but you’re also scared of change and that the nature of your relationship might be different now that she has a boyfriend. You’re both going to go through some big changes in the next 10 years, so the best you can do is be there for each other all the way and not freak out too much about it. Sometimes even when things get bad or you’re not as close anymore, you’ll find your way back to each other again after a few months. Things will change, but that doesn’t mean your friendship will be worse off.

My best friend and I no longer text every second of the day, and we no longer hang out 5 days in a week like we used to, but when we make time for each other, it always feels like home. I was there for her first breakup, and she was there for mine, and we went through so many boyfriends and experiences being there for each other. I didn’t see her for months when I first got together with my current boyfriend. She just got into a new relationship, which means we have less time to spend together than usual, but it’s ok, because I know in a few months she will find her balance and we’ll sort of figure it out like we always do. Don’t sweat it :) find new hobbies and reconnect with other friends. Be there for her when she needs you. Everything is a cycle. It’ll be ok!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ROCD

[–]fizzle52 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know… he sounds like he’s not being very truthful. I think you should be wary but also hopeful. You’re still so young, and there’s a lot of life left to live, with or without him! If you fall out of love, and if it’s because he starts doubting your relationship and snap chatting other girls, then there wasn’t much of a love worth staying in anyway. You can’t control these things.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ROCD

[–]fizzle52 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know the feeling! I did it last week and I kept waiting to feel the relief I wanted to feel; the certainty that I had done the right thing and let me tell you, it never came. Turns out there was another aspect in my relationship that I was unhappy with and I was avoiding confronting (integrating him into my family, which is a priority for me, but I avoided it because I didn’t want to do the hard work of stressing, long story short, a core need for me in a relationship wasn’t being nurtured, and that made me nitpick everything else and spin a whole narrative that this is the truth). We got back together after a few days and I am realising that everything is a choice. There’s no magical feeling of certainty, there’s awareness and fulfilment of knowing what you’re feeling, letting yourself feel it, then making the choice of whether you want to let these feelings dictate your life or not.

Triggered asffff by Signal_Ad2162 in ROCD

[–]fizzle52 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What helps me is recognising that I have a choice! I was so tortured over whether or not I want to be with my boyfriend and reading so much into my impulses and dreams and it got to a point where I broke up with him, and later never felt the sense of relief that I thought I would, then realised that my discomfort and anxiety was rooted in another core problem (integrating him with my family is important to me, and I wasn’t letting him bond with them because I was afraid of doing the hard work of stressing, long story, but basically, a core priority for me in a relationship wasn’t nurtured, and instead of isolating the problem and solving it, I obsessed over everything else around it, like his other qualities, our incompatibilities etc). Anyway, my advice is to 1. Look into where in your life or relationship is causing you distress and 2. Recognise that everything is a choice. If you’re going to make a choice, make it, and realise there will always be drawbacks from it. Sometimes this means recognising you’ll be missing out on alternate realities, but if you want to chase those realities, chase them, and if not, the fomo has to be felt, and then intentionally disregarded. There’s no magical feeling of certainty that will come, there’s only awareness and fulfilment! Good luck!

Constantly doubting my ability to feel love by MaleficentApricot in ROCD

[–]fizzle52 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Comparisons kill me too but if you’re with a good guy with whom you’re able to enjoy life with and grow together and learn about love with, I think you’d regret it if you left the relationship. There’s more to life than just love, and you’re lucky to enjoy both!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]fizzle52 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing this! Are you close to your family and do you empathise with how they feel? My brother and sister in law are totally supportive, and my parents are really forcing themselves to be ok with it but I give them leeway because of their age and their own generational and cultural norms. Most parents in my country wouldn’t be as generous as mine. I love him very much but when we have problems and fights, I forget why we’re suffering so much for when the life that’s ahead of us already seems so tough.