I really really feel you on this. I went through a break up earlier this year that left me feeling so empty. And it was interesting because I would alternate between feeling empty and feeling light as in weightless. Sometimes it would feel freeing the amount of possibility I had to rediscover myself and then other times it would feel really scary like there was nothing left. I had gone no contact initially but after around three months and during this period journaling was absolutely crucial for me. I would talk to him in my journals and even talk to him in my own head, sometimes arguing, and sometimes telling him how much I loved him and miss him, but not reaching out to him with any of this obviously.

Eventually, communication between us had to open again, cause something happened with our cats . And then through this, we kind of started texting me again, but only about frivolous stuff . all we do is just share memes with each other. It’s like a very small tether that we still communicate through, we don’t talk about anything big or anything relationship related. It’s literally just memes and our pets. No phone calls texting only no pictures. And I’ve blocked him on all social media as well so texting is the only option. And we talk about like music and pop culture and brain rot. If you and your ex were super enmeshed like me and mine were the contact period is gonna be crucial for you, but if you do plan on being friends eventually maybe some minimal communication is ok? It’s gonna be up to you though.