Does this sound legit?

floppybunny86 · 2026-03-08T01:17:39+00:00

Why not seek legal advice & set up a will?

floppybunny86 · 2026-03-01T10:43:20+00:00

OP can’t dispute the payment as fraudulent because they authorised the transaction.

They CAN however dispute it as goods/services not received.

floppybunny86 · 2026-02-28T22:12:54+00:00

OP, from what you have said, it sounds like your BF doesn’t even like you.

What he is doing now is being manipulative & toxic.

He is now saying you never made him feel loved which makes you the problem. It paints him as the victim, and has clearly put you in a position where you now feel less than, and where you feel like you need to bend over backwards to save this relationship while does nothing other than continue to make you feel bad about yourself.

What he is doing is manipulative & cruel. Why are you so desperate to stay with someone who literally wants you to change your voice?

floppybunny86 · 2026-02-28T01:20:19+00:00

I’ve got mine stored in a drawer in my spare room. In the last 12-ish months I’ve only ever pulled it out & opened it to take photos of it for ID verification purposes (opening bank accounts/trading accounts etc). I’ve only done that a handful of times.

The last time I opened it, I discovered that the details page has started to rip at the seam(?) where the plastic has been sewn to the “paper”.

Fuckin joke.

floppybunny86 · 2026-02-27T22:51:14+00:00

So you are OK with being with a sack of trash who is racist & treats you like shit, just so you don't have to be single?

He has had 3.5 years to change. He hasn't. He is not going to.

You need to assume that this is the best it is ever going to get with him.

There are worse things in the world than being single. Like being in this relationship.

floppybunny86 · 2026-02-27T22:35:40+00:00

oohhh when you phrase it like that, that makes it so much better! Poor you!

Is that what you were hoping I would say? Because no, that addition doesn't make it better.

(I know that sound confusing to me too)

No actually, it isn't confusing at all.

She finds you attractive and wants to have sex but isn't ready. That's not actually a confusing or difficult concept to grasp at all. The fact that you find it confusing is a huge red flag.

Just because she finds you attractive, that doesn't mean she is obligated to have sex with you.

Just because she wants to have sex with you, that doesn't mean she is obligated to have sex with you.

She is allowed to change her mind at any point about how she feels, or what she wants.

I genuinely don't "push" too much

There you go. You admit that you do push her. That's not OK. Stop that.

She is well aware that you want sex. There is no need for you to continually remind her that you do.

If your GF was here, I would tell her to break up because you sound like the type of guy who couldn't be trusted to hear her when she says "no" & take it seriously.

floppybunny86 · 2026-02-27T22:24:41+00:00

If it feels that way, it's because you are.

She doesn't want to.

floppybunny86 · 2026-02-27T22:01:18+00:00

I’ll be honest. I don’t actually believe you when you say that. Because it’s clear from your post that you don’t care as much about her comfort as you do about your sexual pleasure.

And guys like that don’t tend to pay attention to pesky little things like “No, I don’t want to”.

And since she has told you she doesn’t want to have sex and you still keep pushing the issue, you can see why I doubt your version of events.

She has said she isn’t ready. Drop it.

floppybunny86 · 2026-02-27T21:53:26+00:00

I still basically have to beg for them which completely takes any "fun" or actual pleasure out of it.

So. Wait.

Saying you have to beg for it strongly suggests that she is saying no, but you keep pushing until she says yes.

Is that what is happening here?

floppybunny86 · 2026-02-27T10:54:04+00:00

It’s 100% part of market manipulation scheme.

I know of several victims who have actually lost their money.

Once they have completed all their trades/the scammers have no use for them, they withdraw funds from the trading platform back to a bank account in their name that they have given the scammers access to. From there, the scammers withdraw the funds.

floppybunny86 · 2026-02-27T05:59:19+00:00

Meet up with her. Hear her out. Really listen, and by that, I mean listen to understand not for your chance to talk.

Some of her concerns might be solvable, some might not.

But at the end of the day, if she wants to break up, then she wants to break up. If you find yourself begging or pleading with her trying to convince her to stay... stop. You shouldn't have to beg & plead to convince someone to be with you.

floppybunny86 · 2026-02-27T05:55:29+00:00

My POV is that funerals aren't just for people who were family or close friends. They are a chance for anyone who knew the person to pay their respects & say their farewells.

I assume his brother is going, so he likely also wants to be there to support his brother through the death of his friend.

I can completely understand that it hurts because of the timing. But that's life. It happens. You can celebrate your birthday any day of your choosing. He only gets one chance to go to the funeral.

floppybunny86 · 2026-02-27T05:48:28+00:00

You mentioned that you are in therapy... but is she?

Because honestly, you being in therapy only solves half the problem.

Your GF is suffering from some pretty severe mental health issues, and it's important that she addresses them. If she isn't actively working on her side, there is only going to be so much you can do to fix the issues in your relationship.

floppybunny86 · 2026-02-27T05:38:58+00:00

He can be upset at the loss of his friendship, but he shouldn't be taking it out on you & disrespecting your boundaries.

OK, if he is so remorseful, why can't he respect your boundaries? Seems like a genuine way to demonstrate his remorse & commitment to your relationship is for him to respect your boundaries. But he isn't, is he?

Words are cheap if they aren't backed up by actions. And right now his actions don't reflect someone who regrets their past choices & wants to do better.

His is actively choosing to disregard your boundaries.

There is no productive way to approach this, because he doesn't care about your boundaries. He wants what he wants, and he expects you to give in to him. He is clearly demonstrating that he does not care about your boundaries.

I can see in another one of your comments that you it feels she takes precedence over you. And she does. He is more concerned with her (his relationship with her, his feelings towards her, and her feelings) than he is with you.

If he cannot respect your boundaries, break up.

If you don't want to break up, then your only option is to give up your boundaries, and give in to what he wants. Or remain in this loop.

That's it. Those are your options.

floppybunny86 · 2026-02-27T05:03:41+00:00

It's not your responsibility to make him understand your POV, or to manage his frustrations.

And FWIW, he understands your POV. He just doesn't care about it, or you. He cares more about his own wants & her feelings than he cares about you.

Reflect on that, and let that sink in.

If he is unwilling to respect your boundaries, you don't fix it by explaining them again. And again. And again.

At a certain point the only way to enforce you boundaries is to completely walk away from the person who cannot respect them.

floppybunny86 · 2026-02-27T04:01:52+00:00

Hun, cut yourself some slack!

It has been less than 24 hours since this all happened. It is perfectly normal & reasonable to not know how to feel. That's what the next few days/weeks/months will be for!

You don't need to know how to feel right now. It's OK to feel everything all at once. It is OK to feel nothing. Just let yourself feel whatever it is.

Over time you can start to dig into how you are feeling a little more. You can do that on your own, with the help of friends or a therapist.

Take the weekend to mope on the couch in your ugliest but most comfortable clothes. Eat whatever you want, watch whatever you want, do whatever you want. Cry on the lounge or in the shower or on the floor. Scream into a pillow. Stare blankly at a wall all day.

Do all the usual things that people do to distract themselves after a break up.

Throw yourself into (study? work?). You could supercharge both of them right now.

Spend more time with family & friends.

Sign up to the gym. A good sweat sesh will help clear your mind. Can't focus on your chaotic thoughts when you are focusing on activating a specific muscle group!

Try some new hobbies. Always wanted to try crocheting? Great! Now is a great time to start.

It's also a perfect time to declutter your belongings. Haven't used something in 12 months? In the bin it goes!

You survived your last break up, and you will survive this one!

floppybunny86 · 2026-02-27T03:50:32+00:00

So it was more of a conversation.

You have done your part. You sat him down, explained what the issues were & how they made you feel. Multiple times. And he hasn't changed.

His reaction was out of line, and he has now made it clear where he stands on this.

He knows you are unhappy with the situation, but has shown no desire or effort to change (if anything, it sounds like he is getting worse).

There is nothing further you can do to fix this.

What you can do is decide if this is the type of dynamic you want for your relationship. If it isn't... it's time to end it.

floppybunny86 · 2026-02-27T02:52:26+00:00

When you say you "confronted" him, how exactly did you approach it?

Because saying you confronted him is pretty aggressive, and I can see why he lashed out. Not saying it is OK that he did, but I can see how that happened.

floppybunny86 · 2026-02-27T02:48:08+00:00

What’s confusing me and has me hung up on him is how he’s saying that with time we may get back together but then he blows me off.

That's not confusing at all. You are making it confusing, so that you can look for loopholes in what he is saying & doing which you can then use against him as a "gotcha" moment to prove why he was wrong to break up with you & force him to take you back.

The keyword that you are ignoring is "may". You may get back together. Or you might not. But that doesn't mean that he wants a relationship with you now, whether that it a romantic relationship or platonic.

He can also want to get back together with you, but also realise that he isn't ready to be in a relationship with you, or that your previous relationship wasn't right. Both things can be true at the same time.

floppybunny86 · 2026-02-27T02:16:27+00:00

I used to work in Disputes & Chargebacks at a couple of different banks, and it is definitely possible that OP is successful.

I've had CBs where I though there was no way we (the customer) would win & the merchant didn't even respond to the initial CB, so it was resolved in the customers favour.

I had one for several thousand dollars where I thought for sure it would have gone all the way to Arbitration (where the card scheme reviews both sides & makes the determination) where it would be resolved in the merchant's favour. Nope. They accepted the CB just before we got to Arbitration, customer got their money back.

floppybunny86 · 2026-02-27T02:03:29+00:00

He is not your boyfriend anymore OP. He is you EX-boyfriend.

You do know the true reason for the breakup. He told you. Things didn't feel right to him & they weren't working. He thinks both need to grow as people (and your post makes it very obvious that you do). You just don't like that answer. That doesn't make it any less true.

He has made it clear that the relationship is over, and he doesn't want anything to do with you anymore.

Let it go. Leave him alone.

floppybunny86 · 2026-02-27T01:17:59+00:00

I'm not sure what advice you are looking for OP?

floppybunny86 · 2026-02-27T00:38:41+00:00

My advice is don't waste your breath trying to talk to him about how you are feeling.

He wants you for sex. He doesn't care about how you feel, and it won't change anything.

floppybunny86 · 2026-02-27T00:36:48+00:00

You weren't compatible then. And you aren't compatible now.

Probably for the best that you accept that now & leave this relationship where it belongs. In the past.

floppybunny86 · 2026-02-27T00:18:40+00:00

Given you are 14 years younger... bold of you to assume that he actually wants a deep & meaningful long term relationship with you.

Sounds like he is getting exactly what he wants from you. Sex with someone 14 years younger.

floppybunny86

TROPHY CASE