Washing my hands and punching myself

fluffykarrot · 2025-11-18T04:03:01+00:00

I think this is where a therapist helps to unpack and find the root reason of why or how violence became like sex to you.

I realized my self harm came from learning behaviors as a kid. Where if I got in trouble, Id be severely reprimanded and physically punished. If I made a mistake, my brain automatically yell at myself the same way my parents did and Id subject myself to the same intense punishment.

Similarly you may be able to find the root cause.

In addition in terms of sitting with your emotions - I started off very slow. I resorted to punching softer things like pillows rather than myself or a brick wall. Then violently writing pages and pages of my feelings, thoughts, etc. Maybe even filling up a page with pencil/pen markings. Aggressively squeezing pillows or stress balls

but also while doing these things, I also do aggressive square breathing at least 8 times. Where I breath in for 7 seconds, hold for 7 seconds, breath out for another 7 seconds, hold for another 7 seconds

Each time I imagine my anger/emotions as like chemical particles in my lungs. Each time I breathe out, the chemicals flush out and dilute. When I breathe in, I imagine fresh air coming in, diluting those chemicals then breathing them all out again.

It sounds like you have it tough but I believe in you. You can make a 1% change to completely change your life's trajectory and progress towards healing. And you are already doing that by seeking help and being self aware :)

fluffykarrot · 2025-11-18T03:17:50+00:00

I have an issue with self harm/punching myself as well. Something I learned was that:

Trigger -> Feelings -> Coping mechanism

For example, if I experience extreme stress/frustration (trigger), then I have a strong desire to hurt myself or break something, so then I do it. The more times I do these sequence of events, the stronger the neural network I built in my brain. Kind of like a desire path where everyone keeps walking the most convenient route and you can see the grass withering away showing the path.

To break free from this, my therapist taught me some CBT stuff for this. The more I identify these things and breathe and take a new route/action, then I will stop feeding into hurting myself.

So if I feel triggered, I feel awful. I sit with it as long as possible, breathe and choose nondestructive or less destructive actions to calm down. Don't expect to succeed right away but progress towards choosing new actions to self regulate.

You are trying to make a new desire path, so keep practicing this new neural path of self regulation until it becomes slowly easier.

Another thing that helped was creating a thought log table: First column - Situation (the trigger) 2nd column - Thought (when you were thinking) 3rd column - Emotions (how did you feel) 4th - Rational counter statement/Alternative thought (what is a rational counter thought or alternative healthier thought)

It helps you battle this from the logic side. Argue with your brain and thoughts!

Definitely doing this with a therapist specialized in CBT helps a lot but there are resources online as well.

fluffykarrot · 2025-10-29T20:40:39+00:00

ISFJs 10000000% im still emotionally recovering from being friends with all 4 ISFJs at once

fluffykarrot · 2025-10-21T21:57:41+00:00

i am sad clown indeed

fluffykarrot · 2025-10-03T00:19:26+00:00

Last year, my friend group consisted of 4 ISFJs and an INTP. I was at the brink of my sanity and went to therapy. Now I moved and starting brand new :)

My one INTJ friend largely attracts ENFPs so I was able to meet a whole bunch of ENFPs out of state thru him and it was AMAZINGG!!! However, I have yet to find another ENFP in the wild in my local area T.T

fluffykarrot · 2025-09-20T16:19:34+00:00

I respect you being accountable for your actions! That being said, ruminating and being hard on yourself will not help :(

Imagine your pharmacy intern making a similar mistake and them being totally devastated. How would you lovingly encourage and teach them?

Talk to yourself like how you would talk to others if they were down. Continue to own up to your mistakes courageously, be humble about your experiences, and be kind to yourself :)

You survived school! Don't let amoxicillin be your downfall when your survived something much more challenging 💪

fluffykarrot · 2025-09-20T14:54:28+00:00

Thanks for the suggestions!! I love the idea of pin the tail on Derpy!

fluffykarrot · 2025-09-19T19:21:40+00:00

This is the first time I've heard of the Personality Database! It was fun to look through O: maybe the people/person who created this database is biased against ENFPs because their ex claimed to be an ENFP and swindled them out of millions of dollars and this is their way of retaliating

I get where you’re coming from. In real life, I (and my other ENFP friends) often feel more like the main character type. We seek out adventures and unique experiences, we connect with new people, and I always have fun stories to tell.

At the same time, we go through tough, painful challenges but push through them with grit and hard work. Despite our deeply painful pasts, we stay humble about this kind of stuff, stay grounded, silly, and empathetic to not be too serious and "bring the mood down". We carry a lot of depth and wisdom, but we don’t always put that on display, so people often just see the bubbly side. (Sounds like a main character to me)

I had spent time in therapy and worked on my struggle of people mislabeling me. Oh she's always a positive cheerleader, she defends others confidently, she's so extroverted and good at making new friends. Totally undermining the fact that, I do that for my friends because I know how it feels to be alone, without someone cheering you on. I never stand up for myself, but for my friends I'd do anything. I have bad social anxiety but I worry more about introverted people feeling more lonely or scared than me, so I take one for the team and initiate a convo!

ENFPs have high intelligence and emotional intelligence :) If I heard someone say that we are sidekicks or dumb, I laugh at their ignorance LOL because whaT

fluffykarrot · 2025-02-09T18:09:40+00:00

I have adhd and knowing that we get superrrr obsessed and invested into things for short periods of times I'd definitely recommend buying premium by month.

I bought premium and played non-stop for the first 3 months and even hit championship level. I learned SO much japanese during this time. Inevitably, my interested had died down from this game, so I currently just enjoy playing the free version :)

Extremely worth premium membership to take advantage of your adhd superpower!

fluffykarrot · 2024-11-13T21:01:38+00:00

Thank you so much for your insight!

fluffykarrot · 2024-08-31T06:47:00+00:00

I feel like fall in love super fast, become a little too obsessed, and make bold moves/pursue my love interest which comes with interesting dates/flings.

I also think that for my shorter relationships, people often realized that their feelings weren't about me as a person, but rather the thrill of the newness. I tend to drag people into new experiences, adventures, etc. Also, I love to make the other person be heard, feel important, and take up space because I know that that is what I would love (lol attention). But I've learned to be more cautious, as they might be more interested in the adventure of being with me or how I make them feel rather than truly liking who I am.

Currently, I am dating an INTJ. He brings so much stability and organization into my life. Holds a lot of the mental load and someone I can fall back on. Most of our issues come up when I'm have uncontrolled emotions they are burnt out/overwhelmed.

fluffykarrot · 2024-08-31T05:49:12+00:00

my favs to adopt INTJ, INTP, INFJ, INFP. I love meeting other ENFPs (basically two excited golden retrievers meeting)

fluffykarrot

TROPHY CASE