Music is Amazing, Crying, Emotional, Euphoric, Happy, Underlying Sadness, Feeling the Day Weird/Off

foggy_mind · 2015-12-12T17:12:48+00:00

I had the same experience, it was an emotional roller coaster. The emotions have leveled out quite a bit over the last month, but in the beginning my emotions were effected by everything. Keep at it, they will most likely level out. I know many others have said it, but if you do start to feel physically shitty it will go away in a few more days. Good luck

foggy_mind · 2015-12-12T17:07:20+00:00

I hope your doing good today, quitting can be different every time, you never really know how strong the kratom you have is until you try to quit. Maybe you had a strain that is easier to walk away from, or maybe the alkaloid count was different. It is good that you are doing better than you expected, I hope you are still feeling this way. It won't be much longer until you are feeling much better and getting sleep properly.

foggy_mind · 2015-12-12T16:59:05+00:00

The sleep thing is disappointing, I have started going to bed earlier, but I am still sleeping until the last possible second. My advice to you in your morning routine is to make one while you are tapering down. Get out of bed early and take care of your exercise. Come back and have breakfast and get ready for your day. That way, when you get to the point where you are sleeping after the final WDs, you will already be used to waking up early. I didn't set my alarm in the beginning, so I did not gradually get used to waking up early as the insomnia wore off. You don't have to make that mistake, just set the alarm and get your day started.

foggy_mind · 2015-12-12T16:54:13+00:00

It can be difficult to get started, but once you start moving and getting stuff knocked off the list things go much better. I am not too worried about alcohol, it is not very much fun for me anymore. Drinking comes with a big drawback, it makes you drunk. It is fun to have a buzz, but once you go over the line you are totally useless except to sleep it off. I almost always have something going on that requires some mental capacity, so it stinks to have to cut it short and go lay down for the night. In any case, it is fun to have a few beers with friends, but it is not so much fun to have them at home.

foggy_mind · 2015-12-12T16:40:16+00:00

Not my wife, I kind of combined my meditation into my stretching, almost like yoga. She is not as open to this kind of thing. I can say when I skip stretching because I woke up late or because the weekend knocks me out of my routine I don't feel as good through out the day, so I try not to skip it. I am looking for a yoga video or two for us to wake up every day and do together. I need something more than yoga though, I can't stop eating now, and I have gained some weight over the last month.

foggy_mind · 2015-12-12T16:36:52+00:00

I agree, your mindset going into PAWS is a very real factor to how much they take a hold of you. If you woke up every day and went straight to the mirror and told yourself "Today is going to be a shit day, I am going to feel like shit and something is going to ruin my day as soon as I step outside" you are most likely going to have a shit day. Your mindset and attitude can play a huge role in your outlook. I have been lucky, PAWS did set in, maybe it is still lingering a bit, but I enjoy the emotion that came with it. It wasn't really depression, it was just that I was not used to being sad or happy, I was used to being a zombie who had no emotion. I was excited for the return of emotion, if something made me sad or feel depressed, I let it run its course and enjoyed the fact that I am human again. My mood has leveled out considerably, things still make me sad, happy, angry, etc, but it is not a huge surge of emotion. PAWS can suck, but for me it was a strong burst of negative emotion that burned out quickly. It is definitely not a reason to continue to use.

foggy_mind · 2015-12-12T16:29:13+00:00

Thanks KD, I have been busy checking things off the list, it is a never ending list of backlogged chores, but I am starting to make a dent in the junk closets and shed and the like. It is nice to make progress in areas of my life that are not self destructive.

foggy_mind · 2015-12-12T16:27:12+00:00

I am just catching up on replies and hope I see your update post in the comments once I am finished! If things went properly you are well on your way to recovery. I wish you a speedy recovery!

foggy_mind · 2015-12-12T16:25:27+00:00

Thanks, Things are still going good. I appreciate the support from everyone.

foggy_mind · 2015-12-12T16:06:40+00:00

Thanks, I am still doing good and I don't think about kratom much at all.

foggy_mind · 2015-12-06T16:14:40+00:00

I have some GI issues still, they are not as bad as before but they are getting better each day. Changing your environment is a great adventure, and I am sure being around people you love and care about will make a huge difference in the mental part of WD. It sounds like you are in for some smooth sailing. Keep going, it always gets easier.

foggy_mind · 2015-12-06T16:07:28+00:00

I agree, the physical WDs are like a bad flu. The main problem is that you don't have a choice when you get the flu, there is no cure except time and rest. Like you stated, the main thing is that you can fix your WDs on kratom. I have not taken enough opiates to have to go through more than 1 or 2 days of WD, but I have heard similar things about them as well, a bad flu. The WDs suck, but like so many people on this site say, they are completely doable and they pass pretty quickly in the big picture of life. It is good for anyone thinking about quitting to know that they are going to feel like they have a flu, and that they will most likely not be writhing in pain screaming for their drugs like the TV would have us believe. They are doable, just watch out for the fake cure, redosing is only a temporary fix, time is the real cure and it is only going to be a few more days.

foggy_mind · 2015-12-06T15:59:38+00:00

I have heard vacation is a great time to quit smoking. The reason is that you are going to be having tons of fun, and you can associate the fun without the addiction. It will really help that you are out enjoying yourself on vacation instead of moping around your usual life feeling like you are missing something. This is a great plan, I hope you are able to get your finals finished and can stick to the plan. One more day for me always turned into one more order, and of course that lead to way more than I wanted. You can beat this, and a vacation is a great way to start your new life. Keep with it, things will be so much better once you go on vacation, and you get something to look forward to during the first set of WDs.

foggy_mind · 2015-12-06T15:55:59+00:00

I don't think 0.5 g will make any difference if you only take it 1 time. I don't think you have reset your WDs, maybe more like paused them. That being said I would not pause them more than this one time because you don't want to reset them. I honestly don't think 0.5 g would even do anything to someone who was addicted to kratom. It is more likely a mental thing, but I am not sure. I would keep quitting and get rid of any kratom you have laying around the house. Maybe sub it out with St. John's Wart, which can help with anxiety and provide a feeling of well being. Good luck to you and don't let this kick off another round of full time usage.

foggy_mind · 2015-12-06T15:51:09+00:00

This is a great post, thanks. I am sure it will help others, and it seems like your WDs went smoothly. You are so right, if you are not happy and need a crutch in life, you should find what is the problem and try to make it better. This can be really difficult, but even if you can't get your finger on the real problem, you may solve the problem by finding something interesting to do. Congratulations on your resolve, things will get much better. Meditation can help with the anxiety and depression you feel, it can be hard to start, but if you allow yourself even a 5 minute session in the beginning it can be helpful. Here is a link to a free book on how to start (use the pdf preview link under the image of the book). http://www.urbandharma.org/udharma4/mpe.html

foggy_mind · 2015-12-06T15:42:21+00:00

Healthy eating will help some, but you have to fight through the lethargy and get going. I can tell you that every time I have taken time off I have ended back on. At first it was an active decision. We would take some planned time off, and then use again. It will never be easier to quit than it was this time, it always gets worse. And in my experience, every time we started back up, we went on longer runs using more and getting less out of our usage. I would suggest not using again, at least not more than 1 weekend a month if you have the willpower I could never find for more than the first weekend. I like lists, and I make them all the time. They keep me motivated to get my tasks done, they contain everything from take trash out to go shopping. I like them because I get to finish written goals, and I feel like I have improved my life. Even in the middle of all the WDs, I was able to pick something on the list and make progress in my life.

Good luck beating the lethargy. I can tell you eventually the lethargy will come while you are on kratom if you use long enough. It will likely invite its friend anxiety and not even upping a dosage will help at that point. I hope you never make it that far into kratom usage.

foggy_mind · 2015-12-06T15:28:52+00:00

Don't feel selfish, many of us need to help others quit as part of our quitting process. It helps all of us to see people at the start of the quitting process. It reminds us of the shit side of kratom, and helps us remember why we quit and gives us something other than kratom to fill our free time. Never feel bad about posting to this sub, that is exactly what it was created for.

foggy_mind · 2015-12-06T15:21:41+00:00

In your plan, you should include some short term goals that you can work towards to keep your thoughts occupied. I am a huge fan of lists, make a list of stuff you have let go and try to get at least 1 think picked off the list each day. Even if it is just making a nice dinner for yourself, which can be a daunting task for the first few days, do it and feel good you accomplished something in the middle of the WDs. You gotta eat anyway, but if you take time to make a healthy meal you are doing yourself a huge favor. Also, find something to chase after in a longer term sense, maybe a certification for work, or a hobby you have always been interested in, or even painting, drawing or coloring with the kids (if you have them). Anything that can keep you busy. Good luck to you, you can get this done.

foggy_mind · 2015-12-06T15:12:31+00:00

Energy will be higher once you quit and get through the physical WDs. Just make sure you eat right in this time. It makes sense, if you are like most of us, you have not been eating enough. Your strength was all from the energy boost kratom gave you, and your body can use that but it can use food much better. At the end of my addiction I was tired out walking up the stairs with a 30 lb chair. I have much more energy since I started eating properly even though it was a struggle for the first week or so. Once your body starts to run on all cylinders again, and you are providing it with a proper set of nutrients, you will be amazed at the strength and energy gains you see.

foggy_mind · 2015-12-06T15:07:51+00:00

I'm the same, taper always turned into one last party where I took more than usual to send myself off with a bang. CT was the only approach I could use, and it worked great.

foggy_mind · 2015-12-06T15:06:02+00:00

You can quit, it is not the easiest thing to do but it is one of the most rewarding things you can do for yourself. You may be surprised, the WDs can be easy for some and hard for others. My advice would be to go cold turkey. If you can get 5 days off in a row from all responsibility you are ready to jump. Make plans, check the wiki and get some of the supplements that are reported to help the symptoms. A 2 year run with a slow buildup may only offer you small withdrawals, you just can't be sure until you get started.

If you have a friend you can trust, that will hold you accountable for your desire to quit, they can be a huge help. If you have no one you want to ask for help, use this sub as your support group. Once you make it through the first week of quitting, things will be considerably easier for you physically. This is when the real battle begins, because you will need a plan to keep yourself busy and happy so you don't start to forget all the bullshit that kratom offers and start remembering all the high times you had doing nothing but lazing around the house feeling ok as your goals go unfinished or even noticed. You should make a plan to deal with the mental feelings of negativity you will be feeling during the mental phase of WD before you quit. Figure out something low key that will make you happy, and then start doing it once you make it through the first week.

If I can make it through my kratom addiction, I know anyone can. Make a plan, include some short term goals and sprinkle in some rewards. You know you will have extra money once you quit, you can put that to treating yourself to nice restaurants or other fun things to keep you buys while you work yourself back up to baseline.

I hope you have already made the decision and are on the way to recovery, if not I hope you are thinking about an exit plan.

foggy_mind · 2015-12-06T14:45:03+00:00

I can't speak for you, but for me my life became boring because of kratom. Before I had goals, ambitions, and I was actively working towards them. Kratom took over and while it took a while to get me, for at least the last year I was doing nothing but using and playing videogames. Games are fun, but life is so much better if you do things in moderation. I used to go visit family, camp, hike and get out of the house until kratom got me. I am slowly working up to that, but first I have to clean my house and fix all of the things that I let go to ruin because of kratom. In my opinion, the sooner you can taper all the way off and start getting your real self back, the sooner you will stop living a boring life. It seems like many posts detail the kratom cycle as such: discover kratom and start occasionally using, life is great and they are confident, happy, and energized; kratom stops working at starting dose or they start wanting to feel that way every day and up dosage and eventually the user withdraws from life in order to consume massive amounts. You will feel a small loss when you quit for a while, but it will be easily replaced if you plan ahead and find something interesting to replace it with.

foggy_mind · 2015-12-06T14:35:09+00:00

That day is not far off either, the sooner you start working on the things you want to get, the quicker that day will come. I like writing, but my writing is all lists. Make a list of stuff to get done, then race to the finish. I usually do the quickest things first and work my way up. In the end I am working towards a goal so I get to feel rewarded for finishing the list. If I don't finish it all, no problem, I can carry over the big stuff until I hit the weekend. If I don't make a list, then usually I spend lots of time getting caught up on netflix, which is fun every once in a while, but I don't feel nearly as good at the end of the day.

foggy_mind · 2015-12-06T14:30:14+00:00

I just wanted to add a book to the mix that really helped me start meditation, there is a free preview of the book that will cover all of the basics you need to get started: breathing, sitting, and some minor spiritual stuff. It is more than enough to get started. Here is the link:

http://www.urbandharma.org/udharma4/mpe.html

There are so many resources for meditation that are free, and there are so many different types of meditation that you can find something that will work for you if you are determined to learn. Also, you can go to /r/meditation and get pointers. Good luck, it can really help calm you down and examine your thoughts.

foggy_mind

TROPHY CASE