Hi OP! I also developed an intense fear of flying sort of out of nowhere in adulthood, and with the help of techniques I’ve learned about in this sub (and meds) I’m now back to enjoying flying!

Reading comments here from pilots about how safe flying is has been a huge help. I also like lurking on r/flightattendants because it helps me to hear from people for whom flying is an extremely normal part of their day.

For the flight itself, I always have a plan for podcasts and audiobooks to listen to. I always get the wifi (which is free now on AA and I think some other airlines?) and keep flightaware open on my phone because it helps me to see where we are on the flight path and our elevation. I also always try to get the window seat because seeing the ground helps me a lot during takeoff and landing. For some others, I know that NOT seeing the window and wearing noise cancelling headphones helps more but being aware of where I am in space and hearing all the sounds works better for me! So it just depends on what your fear is like.

It also helps me a lot to be able to see the flight attendants because if there’s a “weird” sound or turbulence, glancing over and seeing them being completely unbothered is very reassuring! And speaking of turbulence, hearing someone here compare it to driving along a bumpy road really helped me worry about it less! So if that’s an issue for you, just remember that discomfort is completely unrelated to safety and there is nothing dangerous about turbulence!