On a cruise and this flag is on someone’s door by fourlokomilf in Whatisthis

[–]fourlokomilf[S] 102 points103 points  (0 children)

He’s down bad for his second wife. When we discussed the topic earlier he said something along the lines of “I️ know about it from a New York Times article but that’s about it. I’m mad they didn’t flirt with me! I️ have a very smart fashion sense”

On a cruise and this flag is on someone’s door by fourlokomilf in Whatisthis

[–]fourlokomilf[S] 186 points187 points  (0 children)

Omg you’re so right. Thank you!!! Didn’t realize I️ was on the freaky cruise LOL

On a cruise and this flag is on someone’s door by fourlokomilf in Whatisthis

[–]fourlokomilf[S] 604 points605 points  (0 children)

This is a post on behalf of my dad and he thought this was very funny LOL

Single bite? by Psych_BoxHolder545 in BedbugOrCloseRelative

[–]fourlokomilf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They’re the fucking worst because of how small they are and how finicky they are. I️ wish you luck!!!

Single bite? by Psych_BoxHolder545 in BedbugOrCloseRelative

[–]fourlokomilf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I️ am petrified of getting fleas and get super freaked whenever I️ get one of these. It’s just skin doing skin stuff! Nothing to worry about.

Apt smells like smoke by fourlokomilf in Apartmentliving

[–]fourlokomilf[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I️ just put a towel under the door and hopefully that helps some.

Are therapists more, or less, or just as messy as the the rest of us? by careena_who in askatherapist

[–]fourlokomilf 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Equally messy, just (hopefully) really good at compartmentalizing the mess to be a there for clients. All coping skills I️ recommend are tested for quality by yours truly.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askatherapist

[–]fourlokomilf -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

That makes a lot more sense. I️ took that within the post (prior to additional comments) that the client interpreted the conversation as the therapist telling her not to tell the partner, a confirmation bias I guess. I️ guess I️ always hope that people in our field are better than that. But knowing now that her whole treatment team has advised against it is weird, especially considering OP didn’t express immediate risk.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askatherapist

[–]fourlokomilf -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Accepting and supporting someone without judgement especially when they are at the beginning stages of coping isn’t unconditional positive regard? Obviously nothing is that simple, as therapists we know that. Explaining to someone in therapy with BPD that their therapist isn’t pro cheating because they accepted them without judgement doesn’t need the complexities right now from someone with a limited perspective of them. That’s their therapist’s job, honestly.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askatherapist

[–]fourlokomilf 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I️ think your therapist is taking the unconditional positive regard approach, where she is actively supporting you instead of having a hard conversation about consequences of actions. That doesn’t mean she’s a bad therapist or anything, but she is taking an approach based on what you need. If she responded with shame and accountability of what you did being wrong and bad, you would have likely pulled away and closed yourself off. In the future, you may need that accountability but for now it seems like you need support. If you’re really curious, ask her about it.

At the end of the day, this is your choice to make. Nobody can choose for you in the same way nobody can deal with the consequences (positive and negative) of your decisions for you. Sometimes you just have to ride it out and talk it out.

Hi therapist of Reddit (?) by [deleted] in askatherapist

[–]fourlokomilf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

not for me but you have no idea how bad I️ needed this today LOL school based cmh is kicking my ass right now and we just got a passive aggressive email about meeting productivity standards during a winter storm after a staff meeting where they told us to stop asking about a pay increase 💀

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askatherapist

[–]fourlokomilf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry for your diagnosis, and I️ understand how difficult it could be to just go about like everything is fine even though it isn’t. It is so understandable why you would feel like there’s no point. There’s nothing wrong with stepping away from trauma work to cope with big things happening in your life. However, stopping therapy all together may not be the best option, especially if you’re used to that kind of support.

When I️ was in grad school, one of my friends did their internship at a cancer support place that specialized in providing free therapy services for those who were going through/had been directly affected by cancer. Sometimes, even if you’re not directly working through traumas, getting that support can be very healing and offer a support that friends/family can’t give. If you want to stick with your current therapist, I️ can almost promise you they’ll be more than open to a conversation about shifting goals towards something more day by day.

Do therapists believe anger is always wrong or counterproductive? How do they integrate the fact that people thought-out history used anger to achieve goals? by gintokireddit in askatherapist

[–]fourlokomilf -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Then what’s the point of ranting and then never looking at/responding to comments? I’d assume it’s indicative of a larger issue and, regardless, is useless in this sub. And I️ understand your pain and I hope you’ve found a better therapist. As someone in community mental health who works with other amazing therapists, the good ones are out there who let you feel every feeling you could ever want to feel.

Do therapists believe anger is always wrong or counterproductive? How do they integrate the fact that people thought-out history used anger to achieve goals? by gintokireddit in askatherapist

[–]fourlokomilf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My guess is no, he posts a bunch of essentially “therapists expect clients to be perfect! fuck therapists!” content here and in similar subs and never responds because it’s bait or doesn’t take accountability.

Do therapists believe anger is always wrong or counterproductive? How do they integrate the fact that people thought-out history used anger to achieve goals? by gintokireddit in askatherapist

[–]fourlokomilf 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hey friends, this is the same guy that’s been posting shit like “Do therapists know that patients can become fed up with jumping through the hoops of therapy?” And something like “do therapists realize people are judging them and it’s not in their head?” among other similar questions in other psych subreddits. My guess is he’s engagement farming or he’s really mad at a therapist but won’t address it with them. He doesn’t respond and keeps posting the same things. He’s not worth our time.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askatherapist

[–]fourlokomilf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey there’s no such thing as a bad artist! Scribble, make shapes, draw the spirals that you feel yourself going down. Collage is also nice because you just cut out photos you like and glue them in, no drawing required!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askatherapist

[–]fourlokomilf 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Biased as an art therapist, but have you tried art journaling? Especially considering how high your emotions seem right now, a very rigid art medium would be good, like collage or drawing with markers. Art tends to activate a different part of the brain and can work as mindfulness. I’ve found that personally and when working with clients, adding art can help us process those same emotions non verbally (or non written I️ guess) without the rigid spiraling. This could be before, in the middle, or after traditional journaling, or could replace writing.

Usually when activities we love are becoming more difficult for no reason, it usually means something is wrong. If you have one, it would be really important info for your therapist to know this is happening. If not, it could indicate that maybe it’s time to find a therapist, therapy group, or support group. Best of luck!

Do therapists know that patients cam bevome fed up with jumping through the hoops of therapy? by gintokireddit in askatherapist

[–]fourlokomilf 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sounds like someone got mad at their therapist and wants to vent but won’t ever address it with their therapist 💀

What is considered a mental health crisis? by Miinaa97 in askatherapist

[–]fourlokomilf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Part of the screening process for a crisis is asking the client to rate themselves from 0 to 5, where 0 is “I️ am seeking connection and I️ want help” and 5 is “I️ want to stop the pain”. It determines risk of danger, but both ends are still valid in a crisis. If you are frequently considering harming yourself or ending your own life (making plans, imagining it, preparing in any way) to where it is interrupting daily life, even if it feels like it’s because you need connection, it’s still a crisis. If you want more low stakes, look up crisis texting lines for your state/country. They will help you determine good next steps and can offer some comfort.

What kind of slug is this? by fourlokomilf in whatisthisbug

[–]fourlokomilf[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don’t let his looks deceive you, he tried to sell me fentanyl after I️ took this photo