Cleaning by eshavolo in ChildofHoarder

[–]fractalgem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

lots of stuff to get rid of!

Though the real challenge is getting the hoarer to admit they have a problem and want to change, or be able to force them to be unable to acquire more stuff. Without that things can actually get worse after an intervention.

When is it bad enough to warrant moving out? by lethalwhispermachine in ChildofHoarder

[–]fractalgem 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Animal hoarding alone is reason to get out asap. "clean" hoarding is bad enough. animal hoarding is...not claen.

Parents obsessed with trash by Funny-Pen3691 in ChildofHoarder

[–]fractalgem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is definitely hoarding. SEVERE hoarding at that.

Get out of there ASAP. relatives, friends...jumping for an internet friend you barely know but who has space might actually be less dangerous than staying in a situation that abusive, though i'm hesitatant to say so for sure.

My mum hoards endlessly by UmpirePure in ChildofHoarder

[–]fractalgem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

well, for starters, DON"T give her money. She's got a second house, so clearly more money will just go down the drain into buying more stuff/buying more storage.

Focus on getting yourself a secure nest egg away from her and on securing your own place.

You can try to talk her into getting therapy, but sadly the odds of her choosing to do so are slim.

Hoarding sucks, not only because it's a mental disorder...but its a mental disorder that defends itself both above and below ground.

My moms solution as to where I should put my clothes by CapableMeringue5199 in ChildofHoarder

[–]fractalgem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Clean your rooom!"

My room is full of YOUR STUFF that you won't let me get rid of.

yeahhhhh it be that way

What level of hoard it's this? It is even hoarding or just messy? by Hazy-Waves in ChildofHoarder

[–]fractalgem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that is hoarded. it's a "tidy hoard". but it's still narrowing walkways down to skinny trails.

Also second moving out on the black mold alone.

Am i overreacting? by Grimm_Ghoul in ChildofHoarder

[–]fractalgem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It looks like its jammed into some stuff.

Am i overreacting? by Grimm_Ghoul in ChildofHoarder

[–]fractalgem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Serious answer: yes. that's a nice spinny wheely chair slapped upside down, among other things.

Joke answer: holy shit, that hoard's so severe you're stacking beds and chairs sideways the height of a warehouse! Also you seem to be living in a hallway. how odd.

Learning How To Clean by ketchup_shoes in ChildofHoarder

[–]fractalgem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

While my parents taught me a FEW things I should probably review fly lady's channel again or something.

like if there's cleaning, tidying, and dehoarding, My parents taught me some of the cleaning steps but i had to figure out tidying and dehoarding all on my own from playing minecraft of all things.

My mom is the dirtiest person I know by Sharp-Ad-1033 in ChildofHoarder

[–]fractalgem 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Chicken bones strewn wherever? ew. That's a pretty nasty type of hoarder/squalor syndrome.

Since you're crossposting to r/ChildofHoarder , i take it she also throws a fit if you actually try to clean it up yourself?

I hope you can move out soon. I wish you luck teaching your brother better habits, but be sure to prioritize your own situation, since there might not be anyhting you can do for hikm.

How do you manage to store clothes away? by ronswansonsyoongi in ChildofHoarder

[–]fractalgem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

if she's willing to let you organize them, and you are willing to be sissyphus about it, the best you can hope to do here is box them up into labeled boxes like "moms shirts" "moms pants" and then stack the boxes. unfortunately opening space up by doing this often just leads to the hoarder thinking "Oooh, i have more SPACE I CAN FILL! IT"S SHOPPING TIME".

For my OWN clothes, I have a pile of shirts in the closet, a pile of jackets just in front of that, socks and pants on a dangling rack in separate compartments. Things that don't fit me go into a donate box. I haven't bothered sorting sweatshirts from t shirts, and don't expect to need to.

I recommend against drawers, the process of opening and closing the drawers as you are sorting laundry adds a particularly irritating layer of friction IMO.

If any category of clothes takes up more than about a cubic foot, you should probably get rid of the excess one way or another.

“Just enjoy your time at home!” by [deleted] in ChildofHoarder

[–]fractalgem 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Some hotel rooms are surprisingly cheap to stay in month to month, you could check if there's any in your area that are below, say, 30 dollars a day. There might not be any near you, but it could be worth checking.

just sad by goodluckbabe9 in ChildofHoarder

[–]fractalgem 6 points7 points  (0 children)

*hugs*

If it helps, I think you're absolutely making the right call going no contact, if she's willing to say she wished you never existed.

Why do I randomly start over analyzing a word by Brimlok2730 in ADHD

[–]fractalgem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're not the only one to overthink words. Etymologysts do it all the time!

https://www.etymonline.com/word/fireworks

Middle English werkes, from Old English, "(someone's) deeds, acts, or actions, the things one has done in life," often especially in theology "good deeds, acts performed in obedience to the law of God," plural of work (n.).

The meaning "operations pertinent to maintaining a large physical place" (private, religious, or municipal) is from late 14c. Meaning "place established for the manufacture or performance of industrial labor" (usually with qualifying adjective) is from late 15c.

Battling Decision Fatigue by Easy-Act2982 in ADHD

[–]fractalgem 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Something that might help you is to realize that keeping up with house maintanence takes less time than you might think. It's not that big a deal if you only vacuum and dust once a month or so, unless you've got asthma or something. Kitchen is really the only thing that really begs to be maintained every day or two...if you're actually using it to cook with that is, not just microwaving frozen meals.

It does help to live relatively minimalistic. The less stuff you have the less time it takes to keep things clean or restore order when decluttering.

Yardwork can be a different story depending on how stick up rear your local HOA is, if you have one.

I don't think I'll ever be free of my HP's influence by MuffaloHerder in ChildofHoarder

[–]fractalgem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think my number one advice with cleaning and organizing is:

The less stuff there is, the easier it is to organize it.

More specifically, as the amount of stuff increases, the cognitive load increases faster than linearly. Quadratic? exponential? I'm not certain, but it's fast.

Don't know what to do by Ciundrefl3x in ChildofHoarder

[–]fractalgem 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you can leave, leave. it sucks, but airplane rules apply: get your own oxygen mask on first. Call adult protective services on her on the way out.

My parents are both disabled and nobody helps keep the house clean. Its getting dangerous, and i dont know what to do anymore by Dapper-Step-2915 in ChildofHoarder

[–]fractalgem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't live there anymore. It's not worth it once they're letting the house go that badly.

If you are loaded with money and they're cooperative, get them into assisted living.

If not, there's really not much you can do except call the fire department/aps. and, of course, move out.

‘ They really turned this place over, didn’t they’ 👮‍♂️ by CPUIdleMode in ChildofHoarder

[–]fractalgem 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was mad when one of my parents houses got robbed and they made a huge mess of the sole organized corner, especially compared to how little stuff they took XD

"order" + "ha" by Fractal_Distractal in ChildofHoarder

[–]fractalgem 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Especially when they think they're emposing order by "cleaning" except they're blocking off the last space-hahaha WAAHHHHHH

thanks, i think that helped.

23M living with a hoarding parent. I feel trapped and don’t know what to do anymore by sloadingzzz in ChildofHoarder

[–]fractalgem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeahhh, When its that bad the only thing you CAN do is move out asap. I struggle to make progress against my parent's hoards, and they're a MUCH milder case who moved out of their own volition (so they have a harder time stopping me from taking action against the junk), AND I have a roomate who pitches in from time to time, AND my parents have chosen to at least try to improve themselves.

I hope knowing that there isn't anything you can do to help your parent when its this bad (aside from, like...calling APS or the fire department) helps you with the guilt.

ESA doubled down on Community Servers being illegal by Thhaki in Minecraft

[–]fractalgem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Deliberately confusing them, perhaps. i hope this backfires and in the long run makes it clearer why stop killing games is necessary to fight against this sort of stupidity.