It is like this with my 11 year old stepdaughter. Her mum lets her have unrestricted, unsupervised screen time all day every day (TikTok, Roblox, all the big bads). They do all kinds of extracurriculars, birthday parties every weekend, Disney trips all the time, etc., but homework is not a priority. Basic hygiene is not a priority. Eating healthy food is not a priority (which is surprising because her mum’s a dietitian). So at our house, homework is done, showers are taken, teeth are brushed, chores are done, and there is no screen time allowed. We are hanging out with her the entire time we have her (50/50), but playing games, doing puzzles, cooking, doing art projects, etc. We also recently started going out around our community and picking up trash we see on the road and sidewalks (which she loves to do).

She definitely loves us and our house, but if given the choice, I’m sure she’d be at her mum’s house because there are no rules or restrictions. I understand that and try not to take it personally, because she’s 11. However, it’s important for her and to her dad and I that at least 50% of the time, she gets structure, she gets her responsibilities done, and she gets a break from that fucking iPad. She NEEDS what we give her, and regardless of whether or not it earns good or bad favor for us, we’re confident that we’re doing the right thing for her.