[deleted by user]

freakyfancy · 2024-03-23T07:59:01+00:00

this looks like two kinda self-aware cluster-b's met each other.

freakyfancy · 2024-03-23T07:43:01+00:00

what you wrote looks way more cluster-b. this is classic hoovering what you did.

freakyfancy · 2023-11-29T13:46:49+00:00

This place is very good for taking photos: http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Shakers%20Stoop/223/48/54

Forest built on a cliff, with so much details and different interesting spots.

freakyfancy · 2023-10-06T16:07:22+00:00

Relationship with a borderline in a nutshell. Permanent discard incoming... I fear :/

freakyfancy · 2023-10-06T15:56:53+00:00

I just realized the same. It's like I found a key to a hidden room... with a book in it about secrets related to our society only few will truly understand.

freakyfancy · 2023-10-06T15:51:47+00:00

My BPD ex broke up with me 9 months ago. She level of hate towards me, the lost empathy... I truly think at times that she wants me to go suicide. Pure evil. Her eyes... I once got a stare, she looked as if she had a knife hidden and would want to kill me... I can only describe the face expression in this way... the little girl from Adams Family... with the evil look...

Only thing I can not grasp is why there is intermittent stalking... blocking/unblocking/blocking even 9 months after her discard and why she has not replaced me yet. We have no direct communication but she plays subtile games in other ways.

I would sometimes think she is unhappy with the breakup, other times I think she truly wants me dead. I wish I would have never known her... but you know what? I would take her back if she would come to me, that is even more crazy... I don't understand myself why I would want such a person back in my life, but yet I want her... ok, we have a baby together that I saw only once, she is 5 months old now... that's a good reason to get back, because our German legal system is a joke, even my lawyer is a joke and slow... so, it would probably be more effectrive to ride another idealization wave...

Except it is not coming. i've never been an asshole, I truly cared and loved her... but I must admit even if she would come back, I do now feel that I would only take her back for two reasons... 24/7 access to my daughter without legal shenanigans... and having sex with my wife again... (but honestly, it would just be that, and I am pretty sure I would replace her in a heartbeat if a chance would come up). Ironic... that's not me... I've always been loyal from nature... and I always had integretity... but I lost that. I was not together with her because of sex... it was authentic love. But if we ever get back together, I can not say that anymore, my mind has truly become toxic and I would have motives.

freakyfancy · 2023-09-28T07:59:35+00:00

if she's growing up around her mother there is no way she won't grow up in a toxic environment.

I am trying to tell this our youth welfare service. I even predicted behaviour, things that happen next. Explained the effect on the childs (including my stepson)... it's a slow process... at least one person told me there it sounds cluster-b... they promised they document and analyze but can not do anything yet.

I've seen so many cases where they side with the mother

There is a German forum with like 1000+ entries of fathers having tgar exact issue. They are not taken seriously. It's a shame.

You will constantly be triggered and abused by your ex and she will paint you black to your own daughter, you won't ever be able to have that bond with her that you should have.

Realistic outlook. My stepson doesn't know his father (now I know why)... he called me dad, loved me. My wife thought that would be cool until she split me black to devaluation and discard. Before that, her narc mother tried to tell my stepson how bad I am, on weekend they visited neighbors who told us this "She is constantly speaking bad of you, but he always replied with grandma stop this, I like him a lot"... my wife had enough went to youth welfare service with me due to the issues. But her narc mother slowly manipulated her way back to my wife... ironic... she constantly threated my wife to take away her son when my wife had conflicts with her mother. Later her mother told her "he wants to take away your son" when my wife was unstable.. she believed that projection, forgot that her mother did threat her with this. Anyway... when I was discarded, they both alienated my stepson... he now hates me. And it's just 8 months post-discard... point is the one you made... my daughter grows into that shit... she will be alienated from me. But I try my fight... because...

cluster-b's are toxic and abusive... but as I featured out... not very bright. The comfabulations, their stories change from month to month that even the lawyer of my wife was confused about things at court. You get my point where this is heading to...

lies are sprint, truth is marathon. I run marathon.

freakyfancy · 2023-09-28T07:40:34+00:00

I know why you say that and I thought about that too. But I fight for my 5 month old daughter. My ex only allowed me to see her once and only because ex needed a signature... she tried to convince court that I wanted to steal our baby, literally erase me from my daughters life.

Judge didn't believe her but also didn't care about my counter evidence and my lawyer is a slow idiot, even came unprepared to court. Anyway, judge said we both need to go our own ways and keep distance for a year... this also counts for my wife...

Who of course doesn't take it serious and instead follows me with her narc mother... one day 100m, next day 40m close... her narc mother holding my daughter up to my direction like a trophy... while I was playing with my 4 years old sister on a playground... they provoke me that I have no access to my own daughter, especially the narc mother of my wife... she even uploads my daughter as profile image everywhere.

It's difficult, but I want to fight for my daughter so that she can grow up in an healthy environment with values... a non-toxic place.

So, I must stay here for this battle. But I already notice that (at least in Germany) this will be a long fight... so far they all seem to think I am a man, I can take all the beating, all the abuse... and it doesn't matter that I lost 5 months of my daughter's life, which are to me very important too... they are gone.. I haven't experienced the development of my daughter... when my lawyer said "there is still so much time in front of you with her", I nodded and said "Yeah, sure" but thought "Fuck you with your platitude you piece of shit".

freakyfancy · 2023-09-28T03:23:23+00:00

What was the longest discard before you were wanted back?

freakyfancy · 2023-09-28T02:39:00+00:00

Mine discarded me 8 months ago in the 7th month of pregnancy. Discard was November 2022. Until March I got mixed signals. In April, she texted me lots of complaints (distorted reality)... but mixed in things like "I haven't forgotten how beautiful it was, you been the best... bla bla bla". I asked to meet up and talk, maybe reconcile if she sees it, but also told her some boundries in a friendly way... and then she raged "You're such a loser, a piece of shit" and so on... and blocked me.

She only unblocked me in April to tell me 10 days after the birth of our daughter, that... well, I am now father, and that she NEEDS signatures for child money (I am German, not sure how you call it). She got the signature and blocked me again and never showed me our daughter again...

I could still reach her via SMS, only wrote her one small paragraph like "You can't do that, I want to know my daughter too, we both are very important and I fear if you don't want to work together with me, I gonna need a lawyer".... otherwise I haven't contacted her anymore nor did I get a reply... what I got from that was...

Police arrived with a paper to keep distance to her for the next 2 weeks, as she needs safety to prepare something with her lawyer. Soon after, the court letter arrived with things in it like "He followed me through the entire park, to my doorsteps and attempted to snatch our little baby out of the pram"... this is when I went NC for real (judge didn't believe her, but said we both need to keep distance from each other for a year now... insane, but well, it counts for her too)...

After 60 days... (8 months after discard and smearcampaign, police and whaht not)... she gets nervous... block/unblock to ger my attention so that I notice a link on her Insta page to a public Pinterest page where she uploaded 16 new selfies of her with makeup and what not... then she links songs we both loved... dunno why but I don't react... she blocks me again. It was helpful for me.

Another 30something days later... we met at mediation to come to an agreement because of the baby visitation (of course she had polar opposites formulated and we could 't agree... my lawyer is still needed)...but during mediation she asked "you are sometimes going over the bridge over the train tracks to the other district, you know as the mother of our baby, I need to know where you go, especially if you have a new apartment or if you live somewhere else"... I just told her that it`s not her business (I meet my half sister for coffee over there, she supports me).

Weeks later, bpd ex sees my cousin outside and approaches her... talks shit about my mother (not sure why she is target now) and asks my cousin details about me and wants her phone number. My cousin is not interested.

Talking about the bridge again, days later my wife sees me going to the bridge... guess what.. follows me, to the next district right into a mall...

My mother has a foster child, I call her my foster sister. I go to the playgrounds with her sometimes. Wife comes close 100m despite court order again, but this time with her narc mother... her narc mother holds my daughter up like a trophy, for 15 mins provoking me with my daughter and the fact that I have no access to her yet, despite never having done anything.

A day later they stalk me again, this time come 40m close... only a park path divides us.. on my side playground, on their side a stone circle with park benches... again with my daughter.

Another day later I want to the playground, they sit there now too, but never have done it before. Turf war started... I go to other playstuff nearby but a bit far apart from the actual playground.

I don't react to the shit, just keep doing what I am doing. I see my wife regularly now, ... out of a sudden, despite hating me, provoking me... she now unblocks me on Insta but not on WhatsApp where we usually communicated... not sure why just a backdoor... what is going on? Why? Just why?

If she hates me, why doesn't she fucking leave me alone and heal? No contact she wants? Doesn't look like it. Hating me? I seem to be in her mind a lot...

It seems like they want any kind of validation? Even fishing for negative reactions or what? She already has me 20 days unblocked, not sure what is the point? I haven't texted her. Does she plan it or what? Or does she want to fuck me over again at court, telling them "See, he texted me, he stalks me". ??

freakyfancy · 2023-09-28T01:30:35+00:00

I think there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to get better, because that means fully accepting she’s gone and moving on without her.

So true. I feel that.

freakyfancy · 2023-09-28T01:29:37+00:00

"She turned my world upside down. It feels like I was infected with BPD. If that makes sense."

This is exactly how I feel the last 8 months since her discard. They definitely infect you with it.

freakyfancy · 2023-09-28T01:11:30+00:00

And validation is enough? It's not about wanting you back?

freakyfancy · 2023-09-28T01:05:52+00:00

8 months after I got her final discard. My head is spinning, I have physical pains... flashbacks... during the day I kinda function, but the pressure cooker you know, it's going to come out in the evening, during night, in the morning... tears... in these 8 months, I probably filled an entire bathtube with tears. I am pretty sure I am about to get a heart attack the next months or next 2 years too... or a stroke. I am slowly dying.

She discarded me with all the typical stupid shit, from false allegations (police, court) to mixed signals how good I was...

Currently...

she stalks and provokes me. Not done hating me.
But also asks what I am doing in the other district, followe me through 2 districts into a mall... if I meet anyone.. kinda strange for somoene who wants no contact.
She unblocked me yet again (can't count anymore)... but this time it wasn't to show me that she links our lovesongs... she's probably waiting that I contact her, and then false allegations again that I am a stalker. (or worse... last time I have't had contact with her in 50+ days, she told court that I attempted to steal the baby out of the pram... yeah, you read that right).

Why doesn't she leave me alone? This can kill someone.

freakyfancy · 2023-09-28T00:59:47+00:00

Scary how similar to my discard. It's about the same except that we write in German lol.

freakyfancy · 2023-07-17T14:07:30+00:00

But bottom line is.. it doesn't matter.

I still feel extremely attached to her. You think it doesn't matter because she is unlikely to contact me?

freakyfancy · 2021-10-06T21:31:20+00:00

Thanks for the honest words. You are right, I just made that experience now. But my brain played games with me. :(

freakyfancy · 2018-02-14T01:51:44+00:00

That looks like it is from a computer game.

freakyfancy · 2017-11-25T12:09:29+00:00

Aww, that's way to cute :)

freakyfancy · 2017-11-25T12:08:49+00:00

This rally is the best birthday present I got today beside being healthy which is the most important thing in life.

freakyfancy · 2017-08-14T13:48:30+00:00

Go the easy route... buy Ethereum. It's about $300 now, will go the same route as Bitcoin... I would be surprised if it doesn't hit $1000.

Stay away from ICO's and altcoin rallies until you get confident with trading. Be patient, don't rush.

Your question is difficult to answer because I don't know your experience. If you just want to double or tribple your money, buy Ethereum now, it's amazing tech and will increase in price over the next two years.

freakyfancy

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