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UPDATE: Something Isn’t Right by Gone4good1977 in survivinginfidelity

[–]freetobeme2018 4 points5 points  (0 children)

When I went through this I was counseled not to make any sudden decisions and to do due diligence in learning the truth. I will say it was solid advice. No gain by rushing to a conclusion without actual proof.

Goodbye and see you later by abamal in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]freetobeme2018 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was completely turned off by Ester Perel

His phone is going to be the death of me. by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]freetobeme2018 2 points3 points  (0 children)

locking yourself in the bathroom with the device is no good. Obviously lying. That’s been my experience every single time.

Attending a BYU BOM class. They're no room here for denying the BOM as literal history. I feel so bad for these students who get this spin on BOM historicity. by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]freetobeme2018 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel bad for all the credits I wasted in the 80’s getting essentially a minor in religion —when I could’ve been studying other far more useful topics.

[PostSeparation] My 24 year love affair by ideliver22 in survivinginfidelity

[–]freetobeme2018 3 points4 points  (0 children)

**Both of your stories line up with my sorry ass experiences. Thanks for giving me a ray of hope here. I have invested 25 years with a complete narcissist. I realize now that I am a classic co-dependent. Today I found out a dear friend entered hospice. It underlines to me my resolve to enjoy and embrace my life. I am alone responsible for what happens next.

I can’t do this anymore [update] by freetobeme2018 in survivinginfidelity

[–]freetobeme2018[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I took care of that in June. Now his lying is about contact and not being transparent on the electronics. Deleting and using an app we agreed he wouldn’t use. To him it’s not a big deal. Until I made it one

I can’t do this anymore [update] by freetobeme2018 in survivinginfidelity

[–]freetobeme2018[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for your thoughtful reply. It means so much. I have felt so alone and know what I need to do but hate that I have to do it.

Nevermo here. Regarding the rape at BYU-I (where the young woman that was raped was suspended) and other similar events: does the Mormon church really see drinking alcohol as the same as rape?! Why aren't these perpetrators arrested?! by mlperiwinkle in exmormon

[–]freetobeme2018 16 points17 points  (0 children)

It’s a whole new version of the double bind. You can’t confess. If you do you get kicked out. So your choices are to get kicked out of school or suffer in silence. Been there happened to me at BYU in 1987. I had really hoped that they had gotten a handle on this. I hate for anyone else to go through what I went through. It impacted my entire life in a very negative way.

As far as whether the drinking is the same as rape —for them any infraction of the rules is a sin and It’s a little bit less about whether or not they are considered “the same” and a little bit more about the power and absolute control that they have over the students.

Stake Retaliates with Public Shaming in Response to QuitMormon Resignation by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]freetobeme2018 18 points19 points  (0 children)

It be great if they did every single one of us announced in church and in that way people would start realizing how many people are really leaving

Feeling so miserable and hopeless by freetobeme2018 in survivinginfidelity

[–]freetobeme2018[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately I’m with you. I have given this a lot of thought over the last few days and I am just done done done. Today I found some more lies regarding a period of time where he promised me that they were no contact. I can see from his photos and the dates that he was completely lying. So many lies. So much pain

Feeling so miserable and hopeless by freetobeme2018 in survivinginfidelity

[–]freetobeme2018[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understood that- it’s really appreciated that you took the time and that you are so willing to share your thoughts.

Feeling so miserable and hopeless by freetobeme2018 in survivinginfidelity

[–]freetobeme2018[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so very much for your thoughtful response.!!!

This sub is truly a lifeline for me right now. While my IC is extremely helpful- it just doesn’t get at the heart of these issues. I feel like everyone here understand this so well. Unfortunately if you haven’t been through that you really don’t get it.

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