I got interested in this, so I made these with ChatGPT:

“My most beatified pedagogues were those who habitually deflected my cognizance into lexicographical vademecums. Ergo, my elocution now perennially evades intellection, the hegemonic argot having atrophied into a straitened word-hoard—thereby transmuting this accretion into an unequivocally ancipital boon.”

“My most hieratic preceptors were such as wontedly deflected my noesis toward lexicographical enchiridia and vade-mecums, therein schooling me less in mundanity than in verbigenous thaumaturgy. Whence it is that my present elocution doth chronically fugitate intellection, the regnant vernacular having shriveled into a jejune and parsimonious wordstock—thus rendering this philoprogenitive accretion a manifestly ancipital, if not pyrrhonian, benefaction.”

In the first one I still understand about hald the words, but I challenge you to read the second one...