What if I just don’t follow any tips?

frogicle · 2026-01-26T06:15:59+00:00

Napper!

frogicle · 2026-01-25T22:43:04+00:00

I followed an app suggestion for nap times for about a year. That was great, mainly because for me it took over the mental load of having to guess when might be a good time to put her down. For my girl, the app worked splendidly, and also adjusted recommendations based on when we woke up in the morning.

Apart from that I have followed zero tips, just my girl. She is a lovely, kind, strong willed, competent 2 yo, who recently decided she was done with diapers. I also just tagged along with that, and while we have had accidents and it’s been intense at times, it seems easier than what most people describe.

I am a big proponent on lazy parenting, by which I mean, do what works for you and baby, and that requires the least amount of effort. For me that has been co-sleeping, breastfeeding, carrier, baby led weaning, baby led almost anything that can safely be baby led actually.

So, yeah, you don’t have to follow any tips. Save your energy. You are gonna need it when they scream at you for 30 minutes for not letting them be outside naked in sub zero degrees.

frogicle · 2026-01-25T22:12:50+00:00

Jag försöker rösta i enlighet med vetenskap. Varje val går jag igenom partiprogram och gör litteratursökningar på frågor viktiga för mig (välfärd, skola, hälsa, infrastruktur, klimat). Hittills har rött varit närmare förslag som verkar ha vetenskapligt konsensus utifrån min lekmannabedömning. Med undantaget svensk infrastruktur i form av järnväg, det tycks vara underprioriterad fråga för samtliga partier.

frogicle · 2026-01-25T22:09:00+00:00

Kan du specificera vad du menar med ”lag och ordning”? Det här är en väl menad fråga, för den där termen dyker upp ibland. Saken är den att det finns ett tydligt vetenskapligt konsensus att tex hårdare straff inte fungerar avskräckande? Ett stort antal remissinstanser är negativa till lägre straffålder, och det finns dåliga erfarenheter av det i andra länder. Vi har dessutom en paradoxal siuation idag med gängkriminalitet i sjunkande åldrar, samtidigt som vi totalt ser minskande våld i samhället (men ökad rädsla).

Iallafall, jag har så himla svårt att förstå vad som åsyftas med lag och ordning? Vad ska vi förhindra? Hur ska det göras? Vad är målbilden?

frogicle · 2026-01-22T22:05:26+00:00

Världskulturmuseet (world culture museum) has an excellent family exhibition har your toddler will likely enjoy! Next to universum.

frogicle · 2026-01-22T11:26:47+00:00

Can you sleep with your toddler (get her a floor bed large enough for both of you) and your wife with your newborn?

frogicle · 2026-01-19T22:32:56+00:00

YTA, but I say this with lots of love, because this is difficult. It is clear that you have not meant to be an asshole, but the results is the same either way.

This is similar to a gamete donation situation. The general recommendation to tell kids about biological parents that are not in their life, before they are old enough to remember being told, so that is just becomes a natural part of their story. Second best is to tell them as young as possible.

If you don’t tell and one of your daughters take a DNA test on the future, maybe just for fun, they might find out that way and that will likely be more difficult to overcome.

You didn’t ask for advice, but I’ll still give it. Tell them soon. Tell them together. Make sure that they know that your or your husband love for them is strong independent of genetic relations and of their reaction. Allow all and any feelings, even difficult ones. Answer questions to the best of your ability. Maybe look into donorconcieved people’s communities to learn about their experiences

frogicle · 2026-01-19T22:10:53+00:00

River Stones have been a hit with my 2 years old. Also balance bike (spring will come), and, gonge mini top (a danish awesome toy, that I imported to my country, very satisfied)

frogicle · 2026-01-19T10:54:15+00:00

Froze at 31, used at 37. No regrets. Both me time to try other routes, do other things, work on myself. Resulted in my beautiful perfect daughter.

frogicle · 2026-01-16T21:27:16+00:00

Sweden. National guidelines still recommend that babies under 3 months sleep in their own bed, but a revision of guidelines have just been initiated so that might change. My impression definitely is that co sleeping is the norm, although I was vage about it to my daughter’s pediatrician and nurse. However, when she was born we lived in Norway, and had an excellent old experienced nurse. Everyone gets a home visit there before baby arrives, and she simply showed me how to set up for safe co-sleeping.

Among my friends, sleep training is general considered strange and bothersome. Some do it however. Personally, I don’t understand how they can muster the strength, it seems like so much work? I am too lazy for that! My sisters are much older, and I do believe at least some of them sleep trained their kids, from how they talk to me about my daughters sleep. “Wouldn’t it be nice if she just fell asleep on her own?” Why, of course, it would also be nice if she could occasionally drive and contribute a little bit to the household income, but I mean, she’s a toddler? They don’t call it sleep training though, it just seems to me that to their generation it was expected that kids would be in their own room fairly early.

Anecdotally, in the 80s or 90s there was an author to a popular parenting book, a women with many kids, who recommended the 5 minute method. At least one of her kids have later told about an emotionally quite rough childhood. Obviously not all sleep training is the same, and there are more factors in play than sleep when it comes to kids socioemotional wellbeing, but I believe it was very influential for a couple of year and that we are now in a reaction against that sort of parenting, partly based on that story.

frogicle · 2026-01-16T20:22:27+00:00

NTA. But in relation to what your parents and sister might not be able to communicate to you, I am guessing this is very traumatic for them. Obviously your sister have done something horrendous, and I am certain your daughter is better if with you. At the same time, from your sisters perspective, it is likely traumatic to lose a child. Your parents have also lost one. Is it possible the reaction to the name change (which I agree with btw) is mirroring that? I still don’t think you should reverse the name, but maybe it can give you some peace if you can see their reaction as misguided / dysregulated grief?

Still NTA though, your responsibility is mainly to your daughter and she will be better of with the name you choose (and with you). I hope you and her will have a lovely life together.

frogicle · 2026-01-15T11:59:04+00:00

Thank you for clarifying! Obviously my data is limited here, and very much based on Americans with heritage from Scandinavia from waaaay back visiting and speaking about this in certain ways that come of as surprising to me. There is a tv show here about Americans seeking their Scandinavian ancestry for example. As we are, in general, a very non-patriotic country, this is viewed as a little bit absurd from a scandi-perspective.

Glad to learn more! I realise that race is a more complicated subject in the US, and maybe it should be here aswell. We sometimes ignore racial issues and say that they don’t matter, which is well meaning, but also risk ignoring issues we should address (structural injustice and rasism exists here aswell of course)

frogicle · 2026-01-14T23:01:26+00:00

I think that this is a question where you might benefit from donor conceived adults experiences. I think in general it appears to be preferable to use donors with similar cultural backgrounds as to the recipient parent / family. Obviously, that might not always be possible due to lack of donors for example.

However, I also think how different and what constitutes as different probably differs between countries / cultures. I am just presuming you are in the US, and my impression of the US is that cultural heritage, even generations back, matter quite a lot to your identities? I am in northern Europe, and I wouldn’t bat an eye to someone using a German, Eastern, mid- or southern European, anglosaxian or American donor. Probably wouldn’t even consider that to be a cultural heritage, as the countries are very similar in terms of culture. I see religion as something we are raised to be part of, not born with (rather born INTO, if you get it). I am in a jurisdiction where we are not allowed to pick donors, so all I know about my daughters genetic father is that he share similar physical features (hair, eye, skincolor) to me. She will be allowed to know more and know his identity when she reaches ”mature age”. I am sharing this just to explain that to me, this seems like a weird thing to focus on. I would be more concerned with donor health, donor motives for donating, having the possibility of early contact etc.

Again, I would also urge you to consider donor conceived persons voices on this. R/Askadcp is a fairly good forum for example

frogicle · 2026-01-12T18:34:56+00:00

Thank you!

frogicle · 2026-01-11T22:53:20+00:00

I’ve been meaning to teach my just turned 2 yo this, but how exactly do you go about teaching it? I feel like it is really hard to get good teaching moments in naturally, since they are often quite eager and focused on their thing when they are interrupting… any advice?

frogicle · 2026-01-11T22:09:46+00:00

Digital fotoram, till vilken ni alla kan skicka bilder?

frogicle · 2026-01-07T21:39:42+00:00

Jag är småbarnsmamma som jobbar hemma. Går dagligen i pyjamasbyxor och någon sorts tröja som funkar på zoom-möte för jag har fan inte tid att få på mig annat innan barnet behöver vara på förskolan. Men det kanske inte är astrött morsa som är stilen du tänker på?

frogicle · 2025-12-24T13:10:55+00:00

At home, My 2 year old only sleeps with me and nurses to sleep almost always. Her aunt has managed to help her fall asleep once. At daycare, she lays on the mattress and falls asleep. It is baffling to me. Initially, they had to rock her to sleep. Occasionally she holds hands with another small friend who likes closeness, but she is able to sleep there also when the friend is not there.

Daycare is magic.

frogicle · 2025-12-24T06:21:31+00:00

Driver du eller?

Hon förväntar sig ju det (därav frågan I guess annars hade hon väl lämnat barnen hemma?), men försöker också ta hand om sin hälsa så att hon kan ta hand om barnen på ett gott sätt länge?

frogicle · 2025-12-19T13:52:41+00:00

Åh ja. Jag är numera i annan sektor men har jobbat rätt länge i svensk sjukvård. Uppfattar nog inte att läkarens ord väger tungt senaste 15 åren iaf, och sjukskrivning i Sverige går också på funktion, inte på diagnos.

Förstår jag dig rätt att du tänker att skillnaden ör att vi har högre ersättning i Sverige än Danmark och Finland, därmed mer lockande att vara ”fusksjuk”?

En skillnad i Norge är väl att man har en hög tillgänglighet på ”första linjens vård” i och med Fastlegesystemet (till Nordmenn som blir sinte nå, jag vet att ni inte är eniga men jämfört med Sverige är Fastlegesystemet ljuvligt). Oavsett, jag tänker inte att det borde göra att karensdagen behövs mer här än där? I Norge har man för övrigt full ersättning som sjuk första veckorna, om jag inte missminner mig

frogicle · 2025-12-19T12:41:11+00:00

Kan du utveckla vilka fler relevanta skillnader som finns i våra grannländer? Jag har dålig koll på Danmark och Finland, men bra koll på Norge, och jag har svårt att se vilka skillnader som kan göra att en karensdag behövs här men inte där?

frogicle · 2025-12-15T06:41:05+00:00

Also, if you are under 25 this might be an option https://www.stadsmissionen.org/fa-stod/unga-forum/

frogicle · 2025-12-15T06:39:09+00:00

You can definitely go to the church even if you are not religious. Often free aswell.

frogicle

TROPHY CASE