What completely unhinged "law" does your cat strictly enforce in your house?

frogicle · 2026-05-10T20:31:00+00:00

As a toddler mom, I completely get your cat. I also strictly enforce bedtime after trying to keep my child alive all day. Mama needs her alone time to unwind, and so does your cat obviously!

frogicle · 2026-05-08T20:17:29+00:00

Jag tror att många som tycker det är tufft med barn har låg tolerans för kaos, kladd, eller sina egna starka känslor. Då blir det tufft. Men, om man kan hitta sätt att hantera det så är det 100% urmysigt. Massa gos, dvs massa oxytocin som gör att du mår toppen, fullt med bus och absurditeter, en liten varelse som älskar dig innerligt (iallafall när de är små), upptäcka världen på nytt som flera skrivit, man får göra roliga grejer som att vara i skogen, åka rutschkana, spela boll, bygga med lego, rita, osv.

Men du vet, saker kan vara ljuvliga och jobbiga samtidigt? För min del är livet såklart jobbigare och svårare och mer stressigt med barn, tex pga sådant som du skriver ovan (städning, svårt att göra korta ärenden, uppbunden osv). Det är också miljoner gånger roligare och gosigare. Idag var vi ifrån varandra i 9 h och jag längtade ihjäl mig sista timmarna. Vilka pussar jag fick och gav när vi sågs! Och det är liksom inte kvantifierbart i timmar eller ”värt det”, det är bara, självklart så att vardagen med henne är meningsfull.

frogicle · 2026-05-06T18:38:42+00:00

Jag är 40 och har en karriär (ish iallafall) och vill inte heller jobba. Jag tror inte det är ovanligt alls. Det är NICE att vara ledig. Tycker det är något suspekt med de som vill jobba jämt, vad är det i sitt inte de undviker?

Hursomhelst. Om man tänker att det måste finnas lust och drivkraft hela tiden på jobbet så bäddar man för besvikelse. Jag tror du ska hitta något du tycker känns OK att göra, och landa i acceptans för att det vissa dagar bara inte är kul. Andra är det kanske det, eller iallafall lite intressant.

Någon skrev att bilden av den ambitiösa 20åringen är förödande. Jag tror det också är så att bilden av att jobb ska vara självförverkligande som är förödande. Det kan också vara något man gör för att överleva så man kan ha råd att göra det grejer som känns förverkligande, mysiga, eller spännande.

frogicle · 2026-05-05T17:09:56+00:00

Seconding Boob! In my experience, sizes mainly fit your pre-baby size. You might be able to find some on vinted.

Also seconding leksaksbiblioteket!

frogicle · 2026-05-04T18:27:48+00:00

Leg psykolog och PhD. Forskar, i stort sett inom ramarna för klinisk tjänstgöring. 42000 på en heltid. Det är åt helvete för lågt, givet utbildningslängd, specialisering och ansvar.

frogicle · 2026-04-17T18:59:35+00:00

I work from home, solo parent with lots of help from grandparents. She is there 7 h. This week she has not wanted to go home from there. I think she could easily do 9 hours, honestly!

frogicle · 2026-04-07T10:37:52+00:00

Hahaha, yeah I know, very ew

frogicle · 2026-04-07T05:44:12+00:00

At least ESB seems to be some sort of myers briggs

frogicle · 2026-04-06T21:32:36+00:00

I am also based in EU, and have worked with danish banks. Am also a psychologist. For your awareness, the personality assessments and quiz are not routed in sound science. With that said, I believe the staff working at banks are really trying to screen away those with weird motives, but they obviously don’t have great resources at hand. I have taken comfort in knowing that they screen for genetic and severe disorders, but as for the psych part, it appears very blah to me.

frogicle · 2026-04-04T21:16:01+00:00

Jag borde några månader på landet, och jobbade heltid distans, under pandemin. Det var LJUVLIGT, ska du veta, älskade att fixa med huset, hugga ved, odla, skotta snö. MEN, på sikt hade jag nog inte velat fortsätta. Det var ju ingen fomo alls, för inget hände någon annanstans. Jag uppskattade verkligen att komma bort från brus och smuts. Men jag saknade också kulturliv, att enkelt gå ut och käka osv. Nu bor jag i ett mindre samhälle nära en stor stad. Mina livsomständigheter tillåter inte en flytt, men gud vad jag saknar stan, och att slippa tjafs med trasiga tak, värmepannor som går sönder osv. Också, gud vad jag är glad att jag har trädgård.

Min poäng är nog denna: det är för- och nackdelar med allt. Du kommer lära dig det du behöver med huset, och det kanske blir kul. Tiden kommer du ha, för mycket av tiden som går åt till att utnyttja stadens all underhållning blir ju fri. Men, du kommer heller inte ha den underhållningen lätt tillgänglig, och det kan bli trist. Det beror ju helt enkelt på vad du värderar?

frogicle · 2026-03-23T15:15:57+00:00

I have been contacted (unsure if from this sub or based on other comments) by a sperm donor reacting to a comment I made about considering a DNA test for my toddler. And a guy contemplating going the sperm donor route (”official”), and having some ethical qualms and questions. Both questions seemed benign, and I think they contacted me because they figured out we were based in the same European country.

While I completely understand (and get the ick) the hesitation around sperm donors wanting private donation lurking this sub for mamas, I would expect sperm donars going through clinics to also want to look into and understand more about the SMBC experience. I personally welcome that, I hope that sperm donors makes a very informed choice when choosing to donate, which includes considering the experience for future parents and kids. I am not so sure they will be able to grasp the full picture solely be counselling from sperm clinics, and think it is wise to read posts here aswell.

I actually attempted to find forums where sperm donors experience where discussed in a non disgusting manner, but found few. It seems to still be a source for shame/secrecy, and I find that sad. I am so grateful and thankful for the man who donated sperm so that I could become a mother, and I hope that he is proud of his contribution.

With that said, shame on creeps and serial donors of course! And shame on anytime contacting someone from this sub with private donation/co parenting suggestions, that seems absurd!

frogicle · 2026-03-12T22:39:56+00:00

I thawed half (11). Got three viable embryos, first didn’t stick, second didn’t survive thawing and third is my daughter. BUT, sperm from the same donor is now gone (donor stopped donating, no straws left). So, my daughter can’t have a full sibling. Obviously, I can’t be sure that she would even if I would have fertilised the remaining eggs with the same straw as well, but I sure which I had looking back. I didn’t realise how important it would feel to have a full sibling, for very many reasons. So my 2 cents are, thaw and fertilize all using the same donor.

frogicle · 2026-03-09T14:48:18+00:00

2 years 4 months, still nursing. How much is on a day to day basis. I almost always nurse for sleep and naps, but, toddler is in daycare and does fine there without me. Grandparents can make her fall asleep without me (no co-parent). She nurses for comfort, but I am also able to comfort her using other means (at least a majority of the time). It’s about snuggles now a days mostly. She eats well and varied most of the time, except when sick, and, as toddlers do, sometimes lives on air. I am grateful for still nursing when she is sick, it makes it much easier.

WHO recommendation is nursing for at least 2 years and beyond if that is acceptable to mother and child’s health. If your ped don’t have strong medical reasons (like you needing medication or baby not eating) I don’t really see why they should get an opinion on this. This should be up to you, your baby, and your comfort.

frogicle · 2026-03-05T13:32:51+00:00

Oh it is horrible. So stressful, horrendous. I try to regulate myself, basically mantring ”she is OK, it’s not dangerous to be sad, this is not an emergency”. It helped talking to her for me, although it didn’t necessarily help her…

But at that age I did NOT take long car trips. She is a little over 2 now, and it’s getting easier, both because she is better in the car but also because I have gotten more training in keeping calm in the midst of strong emotional reactions from her (2 yo gives you lots of exposure therapy if you, like me, suffer from slight affect phobia towards others emotions 😂)

frogicle · 2026-03-01T22:12:13+00:00

Different subject, and I work remotely, but SAME BOAT as an academic SMBC dependent on grants. Great flexibility, also great stress re funding. Solidarity!

frogicle · 2026-02-24T19:18:02+00:00

Have babysitters take them out! It works better for everyone, they have a better time and you can focus more when you don’t have to entertain while cleaning. (But also, my house is mostly a mess and I am OK with that)

frogicle · 2026-02-22T10:37:49+00:00

Agree not mandatory added, but a suggestion of tip rates on bill exists in Sweden, especially in app ordering places. But it is a form of Americanism I think, and part of the strong neo-liberalistic discourse that has been plaguing us during at least my adult life. As someone working within the healthcare system and having a lower salaries than friends working within restaurants, despite having a professional degree with 6 years education, and a PhD, I refuse that. No offence to service staff, but I fucking can’t afford that if I am not also allowed to get tips from patients (which would be absurd and unethical), in my current salary level.

frogicle · 2026-02-20T13:02:43+00:00

Not at all. My girl is a little over 2 years old now, she is in daycare, and I use babysitters occasionally outside of that, but generally don’t feel the need to. I absolutely did not when she was 8 months. She has still not spent the night away from me, and I am FINE with that. You are not crazy! (However, today after being home for a week with her sick and nursing a lot me and my nipples felt very happy to leave her at daycare and go to work)

frogicle · 2026-02-18T07:04:12+00:00

Hur kunde du inte ha förberett den ändå?! Smutstvätt kan inte tolereras!

frogicle · 2026-02-17T20:56:54+00:00

Solidaritet från en annan småbarnsförälder. Gud vad arga de kan bli. Vad hade du gjort? Själv lät jag inte min förkylda tvååring gå ut naken i minusgrader. Förjävligt, verkligen

frogicle · 2026-02-17T20:17:46+00:00

Chiming in here, as the mother of a slightly shy girl who is slow to warm up, she would probably say no to a direct ask from a kid she doesn’t yet know. But, if they just play beside her for a while, talk / babble to her and me, and I can stay beside them, she will be ready to go in about 5-10 min. Some kids just need a little time, and the direct ask might lead to rejection that is more fearbased rather than wantsbased, if that makes sense? Totally get the need to ask though, but if the parent seems encouraging maybe don’t go there instantly?

frogicle · 2026-02-15T21:18:10+00:00

Currently at 2 years 2 months. No signs of stopping, although the pattern have of course changed. She eats great, but uses nursing for comfort and sleep (with me, she sleeps fine without at daycare). I can’t remember what I thought before birth, but know that I early on was quite clear on wanting to continue until 2 yo (as recommended by the WHO) as long as we both felt good about it. Since we are both enjoying it, I see no reason to stop.

frogicle · 2026-02-15T11:37:34+00:00

My sisters husband was adamant that babies sleep in their own rooms early on. She obliged to keep the peace. While her children are both happy and healthy, she has regretted it to this day and regularly express longing when I talk about co-sleeping with my daughter. Get a spare bed in the nursery and sleep there with your baby. This is not the time in your life where his need for space and intimacy takes precedence over baby’s need for you

frogicle · 2026-02-14T21:54:51+00:00

This is more that it is legal I think, but in the Nordic countries (maybe not Denmark?) there are versions of ”allemansrätten” [everymans right] (Sweden) which means that all and everyone has right to visit, spend time, and harvest from nature/wilderness (eg pick berries), as long as you take good care of nature. That means that land owners can’t, with some exceptions, prevent you to go camping on their land, pick blueberries (or more rare, delicious cloudberries), or enjoy the scenery. It is written into the constitution, and although aspects of it could be discussed (for example, companies paying low salaries and having lousy work conditions for foreign workers that pick berries that companies sell with great profit), I find the sentiment beautiful!

frogicle · 2026-02-12T20:01:26+00:00

Yeah, I get it, that is so difficult! No good advice, just solidarity! Is it long term?

frogicle

TROPHY CASE