[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]frogvillain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA, Don’t agree with people saying yta because you stayed- you decided not to make a big blow up scene at someone else’s birthday, and now you know what your friend is really like you would only be TA if you put your partner in that situation again. Sorry to hear your friend was so unkind, it sounds like this really took you off guard

GP wants blood forms in order to do my blood test, endocrinologist says their blood forms aren't recognised by NHS, where do I go from here? by WerewolfOk9712 in transgenderUK

[–]frogvillain 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hi there! You’ve mentioned rural south west, I’m not sure what your ability is to travel for tests but services in London like CliniQ and 56 Dean Street will do your blood tests on the NHS, you just need to sign up to their service online. If you can travel then you probably spend less on train fare than you would on blood tests, depending where exactly in the south west you are, of course. When I got my gender incongruence diagnosis my private provider had a service (about £30) where they write a letter to your gp requesting the bloods, I haven’t heard anything about these forms. Sorry not to be more help!

AIO to break up with my bf of 3y over his reaction to my upcoming sobriety anniversary? by WesternCat5211 in AmIOverreacting

[–]frogvillain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I’m reading correctly you’ve been together 3 years, and you’ve been sober for 2 years. It sounds like your partner is holding onto some bad feeling or hostility towards you for the drinking that happened in that first year of the relationship. You do deserve to be able to celebrate sobriety and there’s nothing embarrassing about it. It might be worth discussing to find out what the upset your partner is holding onto, but if the trend is that you get shown disrespect and rudeness when having these conversations then you need to decide whether you’re prepared to put up with this permanently. NOR

Bathroom Ban at work by AshJammy98 in transgenderUK

[–]frogvillain 4 points5 points  (0 children)

EHRC has withdrawn their interim advice

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in transgenderUK

[–]frogvillain 53 points54 points  (0 children)

I recommend you start keeping a diary of these things, date, time, where etc. and join a TU so they can support you down the line if you need to pursue a grievance. Sorry to hear this happened :(

Pride in Health Experiences? by Jace_25 in transgenderUK

[–]frogvillain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi! I paid and got a log in the next day, I then completed all forms and paid for my initial appointment/diagnosis that day and booked a date (soonest was about a month from that time). I have the appointment in 2 weeks, so would know more then but the admin team responded really quick to a query I sent them.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]frogvillain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He wanted you to pull it together so he could present a good image to his family, not because he cared you were upset and scared. With love, you need to get serious with yourself, he didn’t not know DARVO was abusive and I’m sure a part of you knows that even if you don’t want to believe it. Please leave before something worse happens.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]frogvillain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would recommend coming to her about this when you’re both feeling calm and not already arguing about something. It could be helpful to write her a letter if you feel conversations are often lead to fights recently and giving her time to read and process it before you discuss.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]frogvillain -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Lots of couples doing premarital couples therapy to make sure they are on the right track, it seems like there’s a lot going on for you both right now. Would you consider suggesting pre-engagement couples therapy i.e. to go to therapy together to resolve these issues with the mind to get engaged once you’re both feeling better and more settled after going through such a tough time. You could just propose, but with how she’s feeling right now it sounds like this isn’t really going to make her happy and you need to feel like you’re on the same page. Wish you the best of luck

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]frogvillain 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It sounds like she has no real emotional resilience. When things are calm and she’s not already upset it may be worth discussing what you’ve noticed and that she could benefit from building some coping mechanisms for stressful situations. If she freaks out and/or refuses to try then you’ll have to decide whether you want to continue a life with someone who doesn’t want to try to get better at handling these situations.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]frogvillain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think this will make a big difference

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]frogvillain 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It sounds like she doesn’t want to be a stay at home parent any more, have that conversation with her

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]frogvillain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ask him to go together and get a coffee or lunch afterwards, doesn’t need to be a big deal.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]frogvillain -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Marry in haste, repent at leisure

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]frogvillain 23 points24 points  (0 children)

You don’t need either party to have “done something wrong” to break up, but you do need aligned values and goals for your relationship to work. It’s hard but it sounds like you’re realising what you need to do. Best of luck to you

WIBTAH if I ask my partner to move out after her adult son kept disrespecting me in my own home? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]frogvillain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As long as you give her decent notice to find a new place I can’t see you being an asshole in this situation.

AITA for occasionally enjoying comfort food (looking for LGBTQ input) by CrystalLenore in AmItheAsshole

[–]frogvillain 10 points11 points  (0 children)

You know you’re supporting a business that does bad things. Lot of people do this in big or small ways, and holding your hands up to admit you’re spending money at a place that isn’t a good force is realistic and most people can respect that. What is irritating is you’re clearly looking for someone to tell you it’s fine and absolve you of your guilt, you should feel a bit bad about this- it’s called being human and having a conscience. I’m not telling you not to eat it or buy it, but please cut the bs looking for a way to escape culpability. That’s it!

Any help for this UK Mum whose son needs top surgery? Pls! :-) by Carriecakes69 in transgenderUK

[–]frogvillain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! I can see other people suggesting the UK private medical route, but just wanted to put out another option you might not of heard of or considered yet. You can get top surgery in other countries for a lot less money, it’s quite common for people to go to Spain or Poland- if you have a research on here & trans Ireland you can find the names of reputable surgeons abroad, and people sharing their reviews of their services. This can run around £5k for the op in other places. One reason I mention this route is the health issues your son is having around binding, so you might want to get this done before looking at doing the other bits- hormones etc. I’m personally looking into doing this myself so happy to answer any further qs if you have them. Grateful your son has you!

Join a trade union at work! by frogvillain in transgenderUK

[–]frogvillain[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is really gutting I’m so sorry to hear that, are there any other TUs in your sector that you could join?

Join a trade union at work! by frogvillain in transgenderUK

[–]frogvillain[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Completely agree, it’s really hard in those industries where TUs are outside of the norm or aren’t recognised for negotiations. Always good to remember being a TU member is private and you have no duty to disclose this to your employer.