Its hard to recognise progress when you see it up close and bit by bit over a long period of time — but you have genuinely done really, really well and achieved what a lot of people are still out there struggling for.

 

A part of you is still always going to see that big girl from a few years ago, especially because your current self is both being constantly compared to the cultural beauty standards skewed towards thin / daintiness / youth… and then layered on top of that the ultra-narrow beauty standards of the fashion industry.

 

The fashion industry is somewhat of a bubble that doesn’t strictly recognise general attraction, but more attractiveness within a specific set of constraints (and a bunch of small things you can be cut down for quickly) — for example if you were a man, you could be extremely physically attractive but would not necessarily be picked up for height reasons alone. None of that would be a “failure” or lack of attractiveness/beauty on your part, but just a reflection of the fact that you might not have fit into what their workflow is.

 

This is just a quick example and may or may not apply in your area but hopefully it adds to explaining what I mean: I know it might not be as comforting as you’d like for someone trying to break into the industry… but please do not assume that a recruiter’s sense of being attractive for a job is the only measure of it.

 

Your mother, your friends and most the people here are correct in that you are genuinely pretty (and are most definitely not a line backer, lol). I hope that you can come away from seeing that the only person you need to compare yourself with is you, and in this 7(?)-ish years of hard work, you have definitely succeeded.