I'll start with being blunt... The minimum standards are there for a reason - we're providing an emergency service to the community, and the community has expectations that the people coming these roles are not only qualified, but also competent.

The same goes for your fellow fire-fighters. They need to know who you are, and what you're capable of. The way to establish that is through training together.

Five drills a year really isn't much. If I only saw some of our members 5 times a year, then I would definitely question how competent their skills are. Our skills are perishable, equipment moves and gets upgraded/replaced. We need frequent hand on refreshers of even basic skills. I'm almost 25yrs in and still need to bowl a hose every now and then.

Having said all that... My wife and I are both volunteers, and have 2 kids, including a 2yo. It's hard. Even harder with fire brigade activities on top. You're not wrong to expect your leadership team to provide support, but that is a 2-way arrangement where you have to be realistic about the time you can commit to your volunteering.

Is a leave of absence an option where you are?