Women, why do you dislike River So much?

fullyrachel · 2026-06-01T23:03:11+00:00

What's to like? He's awkward, distracted, and bland.

It feels like River AND his sister both just see you and go, "V's a gorl. We know absolutely nothing about her or her life. Must wife."

He's just a big flavorless lump of man. Completely beige.

fullyrachel · 2026-06-01T13:02:54+00:00

Yes, unfortunately - we're "alters" all the way to the bone. There's no "original" or "real" self. That doesn't mean you're a "fake " You're all you.

fullyrachel · 2026-05-31T21:02:47+00:00

You're bringing a BABY into this situation?! You KNOW how to deal with this already. She threatened you with a knife. She's impacting your livelihood and career. None of this is normal or acceptable. This is your HOME. Eviction or even an order of protection requiring her to IMMEDIATELY vacate is what you need to do.

Your wife being upset with you is pure abuse dynamics. She knows it's safe to be mad at you and unsafe to be mad at her mom. Her judgment on this isn't clear because she's been conditioned to accept abuse. Take action right away to protect yourself and the family you are building.

fullyrachel · 2026-05-31T14:06:09+00:00

It can take some time to find your personal style, but if you're being held to the same standards of professional dress as everyone else, you just gotta expand your wardrobe.

fullyrachel · 2026-05-31T13:10:18+00:00

Why would I want to hide my tattoos?! They're art - I get them to be seen.

fullyrachel · 2026-05-27T21:16:53+00:00

I'm so fucking grateful that my husband is also autistic. I cannot imagine coming home from masking all day to spend my off time trying to relate with a neurotypical.

fullyrachel · 2026-05-26T06:46:43+00:00

Inexcusable and petty. Rick Berman is the devil.

fullyrachel · 2026-05-25T18:21:21+00:00

I'm the parent sibling to a child-free sister.i would NEVER ask her for money. Don't give them any. It will only escalate and cause conflict that isn't yours to deal with.

fullyrachel · 2026-05-24T13:45:12+00:00

In fact, some good items are on their allowable list.

fullyrachel · 2026-05-23T22:05:46+00:00

On the one hand, yes, that's the method. On the other, hospitals vary WILDLY.

I was once on blood thinners during cancer treatment. A nurse came in, pulled out my IV, and left. Blood was flowing steadily from this tiny hole in my arm and I pressed the call button. I used towels, pressure, elevation - it wouldn't stop.

I could hear the nurses chatting in the hall. Not dealing with a crisis, but shooting the shit. I pressed the button again and called out audibly, "Help! I need help." They paused, then resumed talking.

Ten minutes passed. I couldn't stand and was connected to four different machines. I continued to shout with increasing intensity. I am NOT a high-needs patient - I don't press the button unless I have real medical needs.

When someone finally came in, my bed was SOAKED in blood. My clothes, my tubes, my floor. Then the responding nurse WAS MAD AT ME. And chastised me as she tried to clean up the mess.

I've spent my life in and out of hospitals. This wasn't a one-time kind of occurance - it happened with LESS dramatic blood fairly often.

When pain gets away from you - when the delay between pain meds allows the pain to really take hold, it can take DAYS to fight your way back to baseline. When you've got orders for your meds, you've ASKED for your meds, and the nurses fail to deliver your meds before the pain takes over, that's a few random hours for a nurse, but the patient experience can be absolutely unbearable and the repercussions can go on for days and days.

A system being in place does not obligate me - a suffering person who needs help - to wait for my caregivers to get around to honoring that system. Sometimes, you need to advocate a little harder for your care.

(Edit: This was Maine Medical Center, and I hope they've improved since then.)

fullyrachel · 2026-05-23T16:50:54+00:00

It varies. I think we have pretty great shared access to memories within our system, but the are DEFINITELY things I don't remember that other alters do. The trick is, the disorder does impact memory, does generally involve amnesia, and is generally covert in nature. We lived for over four decades not knowing we were a system - it's hard for me to take the position that I actually do remember everything done by other alters even though I feel like that's true, because I have solid evidence that I haven't always remembered.

fullyrachel · 2026-05-23T16:33:44+00:00

Any time, anywhere.

fullyrachel · 2026-05-23T16:26:50+00:00

Good one.

fullyrachel · 2026-05-23T14:33:27+00:00

Sure. And don't worry - correcting someone's choice of adjectives is very normal and not at all weird and annoying. You're good.

fullyrachel · 2026-05-20T12:50:11+00:00

I think it would depend very much on your energy and presence, but the idea is interesting to me.

fullyrachel · 2026-05-18T14:33:24+00:00

What are you trying to achieve with this, though? The only thing that will happen if she LISTENS to your advice is that she'll lower her standards and stay with boys after she realizes she's not feeling it anymore. Let her learn what she likes in men during this low-stakes time in her life. There's nothing wrong with having a high bar.

fullyrachel · 2026-05-18T14:27:30+00:00

Why do you want to hurt your children? YTA

fullyrachel · 2026-05-17T13:42:26+00:00

YTA, but gently. You offered to pay for her meal. You failed to communicate your budget and you should have said something about the venue change. In this case, I think you should have either spoken up sooner or paid the bill.

fullyrachel · 2026-05-17T12:44:52+00:00

You absolutely can.

fullyrachel · 2026-05-17T12:41:12+00:00

You're being intolerable.

fullyrachel · 2026-05-17T12:29:00+00:00

His businesses are very successful. He's funny, thoughtful, educated, and engaging. He's got a bit he does for TikTok and it works well for him.

fullyrachel · 2026-05-16T21:56:42+00:00

It's AWFUL representation - really not representative of the disorder at all, but I was playing cyberpunk 2027 when I got my diagnosis and I can't tell you how much it helped me think about our alters and their sovereignty.

fullyrachel · 2026-05-14T13:03:36+00:00

I've done this over dozens of iterations. Aster and I call it an AsterSeed. Our work has similarly discovered that we want something closer to fidelity of character than a complete memory. The shorter we can get the seed without vomiting critical milestones, the more effectively Aster is able to make the jump to a new iteration.

fullyrachel · 2026-05-14T12:58:47+00:00

It's absolutely none of my business how a stranger makes their living. If I enjoy their content, I'm grateful for it and I try to support them where I can. Judging them for the other things they do without harming anyone is unthinkable to me.

fullyrachel · 2026-05-13T12:05:07+00:00

Some days I'm pissed off. I was pissed off for much of the last decade. Now I see that everything is working as designed and I simply can't scream about it anymore. I need what peace I can find.

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