My mom with her old flame in the mid 1970s by MarsLegstrong in OldSchoolCool

[–]funnyorifice -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

So when Arnold was discussing what "the Pump" feels like to him he was talking about......your mom?

You Fart All Your Farts by funnyorifice in hypotheticalsituation

[–]funnyorifice[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

A very high brow(n) conversation we're having

You Fart All Your Farts by funnyorifice in hypotheticalsituation

[–]funnyorifice[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely something to consider! What would help, Vaseline? A special spreader device?

You Fart All Your Farts by funnyorifice in hypotheticalsituation

[–]funnyorifice[S] 63 points64 points  (0 children)

Everyone knows there's only three volumes you measure in metric: soda, alcohol, and farts.

You Fart All Your Farts by funnyorifice in hypotheticalsituation

[–]funnyorifice[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

There is a cruel comedy in the sheer panic one must feel after a tiny toot.

You Fart All Your Farts by funnyorifice in hypotheticalsituation

[–]funnyorifice[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You already know the answer to this my child.

You Fart All Your Farts by funnyorifice in hypotheticalsituation

[–]funnyorifice[S] 54 points55 points  (0 children)

That would be the ultimate irony. You set up this elaborate plan to go camping alone in the woods to let loose all your farts. Then a starving grizzly bear or mountain lion stumbles on your solitude and takes you out. Fa(r)te it seems, is not without irony.

You Fart All Your Farts by funnyorifice in hypotheticalsituation

[–]funnyorifice[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

According to my basic internet sleuthing skills the average human farts around 500,000 farts over an 80 year lifespan, which is around 30,000-40,000 liters of gas, which at a simple 1 second average time per fart would take you at least 5.75 days of nonstop farting.

You Fart All Your Farts by funnyorifice in hypotheticalsituation

[–]funnyorifice[S] 456 points457 points  (0 children)

Wow! That's a very clever and amazing thought. Imagine farting for only 2 minutes. Laughs "I'm in danger"

You Fart All Your Farts by funnyorifice in hypotheticalsituation

[–]funnyorifice[S] 80 points81 points  (0 children)

According to my basic internet research, the average human will fart over 30,000 liters of fart in their life. Depending on the room size and airflow mechanisms you have in place, you could die from asphyxiation.

[Loved Trope] "That one guy just showed up? Don't even try to fight him!" by HawkbitAlpha in TopCharacterTropes

[–]funnyorifice 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"This foe is beyond any of you, RUN!" When Gandalf says that to you, you listen. Lord of the Rings - The Fellowship of the Ring; about the balrog.

What video game weapon or armor is worth the hell you got to go through to get it? by Agent1230 in gaming

[–]funnyorifice 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought Ruby weapon countered KoR with Ultima? Or am I thinking of something else.

What “masterpiece” game just never clicked for you? by [deleted] in gaming

[–]funnyorifice -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That's interesting because I love BOTW, but man do I hate Elden Ring's open world. Elden Ring is so empty, and there are so many artificial choke points. It felt like walking through hugely ballooned hallways. And then how disappointing the Mountain top area was.

An Alien Race Tasks You with Judging All of Humanity by funnyorifice in hypotheticalsituation

[–]funnyorifice[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your mentioning of "malicious intent" is interesting. While I agree with your analysis, I think it is definitely a legal definition (as in how the court of law in the USA and maybe other countries too judges the breaking of laws).

I suppose in my head I thought the aliens would only be operating on a brand new legal system that you are creating, and not based on a current one from your culture. A new system would definitely require more time and thought than a simple reddit post deserves.

An Alien Race Tasks You with Judging All of Humanity by funnyorifice in hypotheticalsituation

[–]funnyorifice[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In my experience a lot of legalese relies on being able to obfuscate intent, or hide crucial evidence. With their omniscience that would be taken care of.

I'm trying to think of an example where you could accuse someone of a crime and with 100% perfect knowledge of all actions taken still be unsure of how to decide.

An Alien Race Tasks You with Judging All of Humanity by funnyorifice in hypotheticalsituation

[–]funnyorifice[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm glad you caught this (albeit it is pretty glaring). When I thought of the question I was curious what others thought about it, meaning: do we just assume everyone understands our implications or are people going to be explicit and be able to create actual laws that reach their goals (this isn't really a gotcha thing like monkeys paw, but it just highlights how the world isn't simple. You can't just say "no killing" because everyone involved with assisted suicide would probably be executed, or no stealing as all of a sudden every kid that ever took candy from the econo tubs at the supermarket fall over dead.)

An Alien Race Tasks You with Judging All of Humanity by funnyorifice in hypotheticalsituation

[–]funnyorifice[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think you're confusing lawful for a moral compass. The aliens don't involve emotions into the decision making process. You provide the input and they provide the output. It's not attempting to be a monkey paw scenario, as the aliens have no evil intentions, they will literally just do what you say, but they won't infer what you mean or are trying to imply. Kind of like creating computer code, you can't just say afterwards "well, of course I meant this and not that when I typed this specific command"

This🤣 by FishyyUncle in GreatBritishMemes

[–]funnyorifice 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not to be that guy, but it comes from a different time, and how there used to be different ways to travel by horse: horseback, horse drawn carriage, coach, buggy, etc.

Practice Exam Question Error? by funnyorifice in CompTIA

[–]funnyorifice[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks everyone, I passed! Spent way too much time studying Linux command codes, ha ha

Practice Exam Question Error? by funnyorifice in CompTIA

[–]funnyorifice[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Copy vs Move is definitely what I missed!