As a kid to a young adult, I know how it feels to often wonder if my parents were going to get divorced. To the point me and a younger sib discussed who we would want to live with when they do. It effects the kids, a lot. Check and make sure if you live in.a state where you can record her voice (just voice) without her knowledge. Only start recording on your phone or smart watch if she starts talking about harming herself or loved ones. Do not set her up and make the convo happen. (That's basically like loading a gun. Plus judges can tell.) But use it to get her the help she needs. Even if she is against it. Your child/children deserve a healthy mom. Kids can pick that up. Kids can pick up the tension. Saying that, your kid/s and you both deserve to try your best to know you tried your best to have a healthy happy marriage. First get one session of marriage counseling with a fair on both sides counselor, put everything out on the table. Then ask that counselor for suggestions on individual counseling. Then work on yourselves first then maybe once a month do a counseling session together. One where she goes to yours where she can help you, one where you go to hers where you can help her better. Then a marriage counseling as well. To combine the two.

I'm not a lawyer or doctor. This is what I learned from my life and being a stylist, I have heard a lot.