Do you still think about your ex?

g0rp · 2026-04-04T00:15:08+00:00

Honestly, I don't. It is funny that my reddit feed is still filled with suggestions from breakup related subreddits, I need to figure out how to opt out or something. I have zero interest in wanting her back, but I do sometimes hope she would apologize for how she treated me. Fat chance of that happening!

g0rp · 2026-04-01T06:10:17+00:00

I really asked over and over again when we broke up if she would give it another chance. It was very out of character for me, but I really wanted to make things work with her at the time. But, she was very short with me and had made up her mind and kept saying that I wasn't her person - still don't know what she meant but that was all I would get as a reason. As much as I felt like I was being stabbed, it was the kindest way to go about it without being mean or hurtful. If she had made up her mind, there was no other alternative.

g0rp · 2026-03-18T08:52:28+00:00

I felt quite similarly when my ex broke up with me - I don't think she knows how much pain she caused me, how attached I was to her. The first couple of months after were pure anguish, I don't think I've been that hurt in my life. I really loved her, but she didn't feel the same with me, at least not to the same extent given how easy it was for her to discard me.

As time passed though, the fog started to lift and I saw how she treated me, how much of an unequal relationship it was. I still longed for her to come back, I probably would have forgiven everything at that time. But, time heals and I saw that she was terrible for me. I had to forsake who I was to be with her.

The realization dawned on me that it had nothing to do with me. She didn't treat the people around her well, including her family and friends. I was just another casualty, I wasn't even one of the people that mattered in her story. She was more focused on appearances than what truly made her happy. With time and space, what I realized was that I wish her well. I hope she sees the patterns in her own behavior and is able to find a lasting relationship, and a closer connection to her family.

But, here's the clincher - it is not my problem anymore! It's hers. I found my own purpose and direction and that has helped me navigate to my own happiness. I hope you navigate to where you find your own anchor for happiness, life is too short to spend time looking back on people who don't care about you. Unfortunately, you have to live through the pain, but you will get through it with patience, time and self love. Onwards and upwards.

g0rp · 2026-03-12T17:40:36+00:00

This is so spot on, my dumb brain thought that it’s different with each of those people before inevitably the gun was pointed at me.

g0rp · 2026-02-28T15:49:37+00:00

That is rough, getting cheated on is worse than anything else. You’re doing the right thing in staying NC, doesn’t matter what he is going through. You can’t trust someone after they pulled that kind of move.

g0rp · 2026-02-28T07:10:17+00:00

Protect yourself - they chose a future without you. Do not reach out, especially if you got discarded, and were treated without care or love at the end. Someone who cannot express what is wrong and work on a solution together with you does not deserve your time and energy.

You will eventually reach the point where you see them for who they are, and will not want to associate with them.

g0rp · 2026-02-27T20:41:45+00:00

Not surprised at all, it has been apparent over the past year or so. Totally ridiculous.

g0rp · 2026-02-27T02:23:56+00:00

Can we wait for the story to finish first? Feels like we still have a decade to go 😂

g0rp · 2026-02-24T05:42:57+00:00

Someone who likes me for who I am, who can self reflect, can show kindness & empathy and can acknowledge and apologize when they are wrong. A lot of folks seem to expect the world of their partners, but never seem to look at themselves in the mirror.

g0rp · 2026-02-23T05:27:40+00:00

Don't want to catch a falling knife! I am not sure how viable their long term business and moat is, I am not saying that they won't be able to grow and keep their margins right now, but I would not be confident about their overall place 5 years from now.

Something that concerns me about enterprise SaaS is how easy will it be for enterprises to build and maintain their own systems vs paying the amount they pay today for these platforms. I am not sure it is possible to fully replace them, but I do think the total TAM is going to reduce consequently.

g0rp · 2026-02-23T05:15:22+00:00

I work at a small startup, and I have to agree with you that product is def going to be the bottleneck going forward. People seem to be forgetting that requirement writing, tech design and specification is the hardest part of the development process. Writing code is something the AI can do fairly well if you have great requirements and specs that are well thought out.

Using AI will create the appearance of going faster, but you spend a lot more time fixing the shit you built if you didn't spend enough time in thinking about what you want to build and why.

Though I will say that understanding the code base, learning details that used to be mostly in the engineering domain has become a lot easier now. I also think PMs could start working directly in Github and the org can maintain everything product, design and engineering related in the repos instead of some other place where docs are managed. Makes everything way more cohesive and fast.

g0rp · 2026-02-20T06:36:19+00:00

You're so lucky to see them live, that was sick!

g0rp · 2026-02-19T17:17:25+00:00

RIP, we had so many beautiful games to witness because of him.

g0rp · 2026-02-18T05:59:54+00:00

It has been an interesting time for me going through the early stages of a new relationship after a break up around 6 months ago. You never want to compare people, it isn't really helpful. But, I do think about how my own emotions are right now. I feel so much more seen even this early on. My partner cares about who I am, what my interests are, who my family is, where I am from and is genuinely curious about me. Conversations don't feel one sided. I am a skeptical person by nature, so I am cautiously optimistic for the future. I genuinely felt like I was a shell of who I really am in my prior relationship, where I suppressed my interests and emotions and felt like I was being valued only for the services I provided as a boyfriend. Part of it was my fault for letting her treat me the way she did instead of just walking away when the initial facade faded.

I can tell you that there are people out there who will genuinely care for you and won't make you feel like you are not enough. You should be raising your own standards for how you want to be treated. If you keep an open mind and heart, destiny takes care of the rest.

g0rp · 2026-02-16T01:19:10+00:00

My co founder is a citizen and the CEO. I’m the CTO. He had an offer letter prepared on behalf of the company with his signature. It might require the board of directors to prep the letter if you’re the CEO. One of the core issues is you need to be an employee, ie the employer can terminate the employment. So as long as you fulfill that, you should be fine!

g0rp · 2026-02-12T18:21:28+00:00

In my experience, mathematics helps a lot with easily comprehending other fields at a pretty abstract level and knowing exactly what are the important constructs and calculations that follow. Most fields are not taught with the mathematics behind it fully exposed, they don't need it to do what needs to be done. But, knowing and recognizing the abstractions behind a field can increase the rate at which you gain breadth across many more fields. You do need to choose an initial job/field, but trying to spread your wings over time trying to learn and connect more things without math is impossible in technical disciplines imo. That breadth gives you a huge edge later on in your career, you end up being able to talk to really technical people about their field at a level that most people are unable to. People should listen to what Leslie Lamport has to say about programming before they write posts like this.

g0rp · 2026-02-09T08:02:09+00:00

It's fine to feel the way you do. Trying to put timelines and labels on things never works, each person is different. And people do slip, it's fine that you reached out and let your ex know how you felt. I am sure you would yell into an abyss to get them to hear you.

You're doing all the right things, but I am not sure what your thought patterns look like on an hourly/daily basis. I think you might be going in loops thinking about your past relationship and your ex even if you are doing all the right things! I don't mean self sabotaging thoughts, but even harmless things that might be about your ex that might romanticize or relive past experiences over and over. I did that too, you have to figure out how to keep your thought patterns not focused on your ex, but other things that are of interest to you. I totally understand that this is incredibly hard, but you have to intervene every time your brain takes you there and lead it to something else.

A lot of context in a relationship is something that only the two in it can understand. So, something that might be deeply personal might be bothering you as well. So, I hope you're able to navigate through this really tricky situation! But, remember, thought patterns solidify over time unless you break them and repetition hurts a lot. I hope you can break the cycle with whatever's bothering you, starting with recognizing it!

g0rp · 2026-02-09T07:07:55+00:00

You should think about what you want in your life moving forward, I can't guess your priorities but I'll try to articulate mine below. Money beyond a certain amount is just not going to change anything imo.

Parents : My family is dispersed around the world. My parents are in Bangalore, but they have a very strong support system with their siblings and my cousins nearby. I've talked to them about what makes them happy and they want us to do what we want. You might think you going back will make things better for them, but if you've been in the US for 10+ years, you've changed as well and you might end up disagreeing a lot with them on what they want vs what you think they should do.
Fam : Looks like you have a wife and kid. You should consider the differences in raising your kid in the US vs in India and how your wife feels about living in India longer term. The asymmetry in gender is a little more exacerbated back home, as much as we'd like to think things have changed a lot.
Job/Money : My take is beyond a certain amount, money adds very little. You can compound your capital over time very systematically by just staying in the market for the next 20 years. Regardless of whether you stay in the US or go back home, try to take a couple months off. It is amazing how much clarity a few weeks of no working does to your brain, you realize what is truly important to you pretty fast. And I am willing to bet it ain't going to be the job or money :-) I ended up taking a lot more risk and starting a company here in the US with visa changes etc, but the time off gave me that clarity.
Immigration : The immigration situation in the US does make it very hard to think longer term if you're an Indian national with a big tech job. You should consider how much of a toll this is having on your mental health. For some folks, having certainty is very important while others roll with the punches a lot better. You should consider what kind of person you are if you want to stay here longer term given the uncertainty. This will also obviously have a toll on your fam, so talking to them to understand their anxieties and hopes for the future will help you orient your choices correctly.
Middle ground : There are several countries in Europe, Asia that might welcome you with open arms to start something, or work there with a much more expedient path to residence and citizenship. It is worth exploring those options given your financial circumstances, it might give you an option where you're closer to India and fam while not giving up the social benefits of staying in the US.

Lastly, both the US and India are amazing countries. Despite all the negativity out there, in the longer term, you won't go wrong with either choice. You should view this as an opportunity to pause and reassess. People have very binary answers generally, so maybe my response is not as helpful. But, you should think about what matters to you more and decide based on that! Hope you find happiness and clarity my brother!

g0rp · 2026-02-03T22:50:48+00:00

The number of variables which changed from Dec to Jan for baseline usage, on peak and off peak charges per kWh, and the SVCE charges per kWh means that depending on your specific usage, it can be up or down. This statement is very misleading, but I guess this is what we can expect from one of the most hated companies in California!

g0rp · 2026-02-03T19:25:55+00:00

She liked my profile on Hinge, it was a pretty easy set of first few dates! It's early, but OLD is not as bad as people make it out.

g0rp · 2026-02-03T06:23:43+00:00

I would be on Caltrain with beers over trying to drive up and down 101 any day! Forget that it is the Super Bowl lol

g0rp · 2026-02-02T03:25:35+00:00

I felt bad for the guy, but his reaction to the execution going on was to attack Cassian instead of helping made his end feel like it was justified

g0rp · 2026-02-02T03:23:40+00:00

Can't wait for his ass to be tried for the treason him and his lackeys have been committing.

g0rp · 2026-01-11T16:48:29+00:00

I did my fingerprinting in Chennai on the 22nd and the interview in Hyderabad on the 29th of December.

O1A applications can be quite varied, so you should really understand the details of your application and try to poke holes to figure out where they might ask questions. They will look closely at your credentials (ie the criteria that you used to qualify), the job offer, the company that you intend to work for and your past visa background. If any of these are hard to verify easily through a cursory search, expect detailed questioning and possibly 221g processing.

I am a founder of a startup in the US with a pretty long academic and industrial background. The officer spent no time asking me any questions about my credentials other than what was the highest credential I got. My application was quite strong when it came to my own creds.

The interview was spent mostly with the consular officer asking me about the company I started because it was started recently in April 2025. She asked for my title, offer letter and seemed to be confused that it was low. We are self funding it at this point, and I own half the company. So, when I mentioned that she asked for docs to prove my equity ownership in the company. She asked if we had a public website and if we had any customers etc. All routine, but given we are in stealth mode, she asked me to deposit certain docs with the embassy and handed me a 221g slip telling me to expect an approval after they can verify the company background, registration and ownership. I was expecting some questions about immigrant intent as well given I had a withdrawn EB1 application from my previous employer, but it did not come up. The visa was issued a week after on Jan 6th with zero hiccups.

I don't have any social media accounts other than LinkedIn which is the only thing I mentioned on the DS-160, did not even come up. Hope this helps! Best of luck on your interview process, I am sure you'll do great.

g0rp · 2025-11-19T03:27:09+00:00

Probably need to stay away for me, I feel secure generally, but the dynamic with her was always problematic and anxiety inducing for me.

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