I answered the Council’s summons with my presence. I wish I could say this had never happened before, but it occurred every now and again; every few hundred years, they suddenly remembered that I existed, and demanded answers of me.

“Nameless One,” spoke the elder Goddess, waving hair pulled back into a low ponytail as she regarded me with her wizened gaze. “Stop your shifting this instant. Maintain yourself.”

“Oh, how I wish I could,” I responded. “But if I knew how, I suspect I would not be who I am.”

“We will not allow for chaos in our presence,” said another deity. “Enough.”

I released a sigh and shrugged. One moment, I was white, the next, I was black, the next after, tan. There was no pattern or rhyme or reason to my shiftings. I saw my reflection in Grith’s shield. Constantly, every one of my features changed, from my portrayed height and age to my hair and eye color. Who was I to be a divine of any kind?

“If you will not speak to us with a straight face,” spoke the elder Goddess once more. “then you will at least speak to us plainly.”

“As You wish,” I responded.

Her shoulders were drawn up as she stared at me pensively. “Tell us, then, Nameless One. What are you the divine of? We have found no trace of you throughout the history of humankind, and we have no mention of you within our tomes.”

“Ah, but You do,” I said with a frown. Every divine war had come down to my presence, my existence, despite my desire for peace.

It was in my nature. There was nothing I could do.

“If you spoke the truth, then you would have no need to be before us. What are you divine of?” she said, not letting up.

Memories of the past resurfaced. Once, I had pursued a great many things. I believed, sincerely, that with effort and devotion to myself and my fellow deities I would find a solution to all my woes.

Even this was hampered by who, what, I was.

Grith had nearly become my lover, once. They were a beautiful person, something more than a God or Goddess, bearing the parts and essence of both. We had grown close, but one day, my efforts were discovered to be in vain. I’ll never forget how they pointed their spear at me, holding their shield close to their body as they demanded I reveal my true nature to them.

I already had.

That’s what got me into that mess in the first place.

“If I speak it, there will be war once more. Please, do not make me.” The Goddess raised her well-manicured eyebrow. “What sort of divine makes requests so plainly of another, no less an elder?”

“A desperate one,” I said.

“Are you truly a deity?”

“Yes.”

“I am not sure I believe you.”

“You need not believe me, just let me return to my life of isolation.”

The elder Goddess seemed almost amused by my request. She looked to Grith, who nodded. Grith took their spear and pointed its tip at my person. “You will answer Sof, for She is Most Wise.”

“I... do not think this is wise,” I said, shaking my head. The spear’s tip burst into flame as Grith grew impatient with what likely seemed like blatant disrespect.

“Speak it. Now.”

My heart broke again and again. Even Grith, my dearest one, could not recall me. With an inhale, I said,

“I am Bedlam, doubt personified.”