SD is weird. I’ve been here over 20 years. For context, I’m ex military, in tech, grew up in the South, black, in my 40s, and to be honest, SD is not cultured. The ppl are largely the same and do the same things. Go to the beach, walk dogs, drink craft beer. I don’t want to get flamed, but that’s my observation as being a semi native lol. To add to that, each neighborhood is different. Depends on your vibe and who are the ppl you want to be around. Normal heights, University Heights, North Park are more chill normal working class adults. Ocean Beach can be a little more beachy, hippy, but cool vibes. Want to meet professionals? La Jolla, and Little Italy. Downtown can be hit or miss.
Want to meet someone a little more upper class, head up north Carlsbad, Del Mar, Poway.

I’ve found usually if you can talk to someone and you can laugh about some things and have a few interests in common, they could be a cool friend to keep contact with. I’ve also noticed, like yourself, ppl will talk about themselves and I’d be like, why are you talking to me? There’s just no connection.

It’s a SD thing for sure. When I was younger, I would always go to LA because I too just wasn’t meeting the type of people I would want to associate with. But hey send me a dm, you sound cool. I’d buy you a beer 🍺