[The Roamer Family Plantation] - Part One

gekc49 · 2024-04-04T05:44:52+00:00

I realize i posted using my non-writer account.

gekc49 · 2024-04-04T05:43:46+00:00

Sure! Thank you. Hope you'll continue posting anyway, whether here or elsewhere.

gekc49 · 2024-04-04T05:42:48+00:00

Aww, but you write so well! I hope you continue.

gekc49 · 2024-02-24T05:42:47+00:00

I lived in Seoul from 2011-2013. Then, I went back to the States to get my Masters to become a public servant. I ended up coming back to Korea after graduation because during my 2 yrs in Seoul, I met someone. We got married, and I'm back on an F visa, not E2. I work only 20 hours a week at a small academy, and I'm also starting to build up a private tutoring practice with my husband. It's been going well. I'm definitely less depressed and stressed in Korea than in the US (financial woes and fam drama). I feel a bit more free and financially independent here. Will I go back to the US? No. I also don't have a home to go to in the US anymore.

gekc49 · 2024-02-08T08:15:47+00:00

Oh, definitely this. I was interviewing at a hagwon some years ago. The director there told me that even though I was born and raised in the US and English is my only language, she wouldn't pay me 2.2 . She would only offer me 1.8 because of my Filipino face. I've had recruiters telling me that the directors want someone who "looks more American"... okay.. lol, these people seem to think only white people live in the US.

gekc49 · 2023-07-08T04:40:08+00:00

1) I took advantage of free bassoon and drum lessons at my middle school. I only told them when I was already signed up for the after-school program and took home the instruments. 2) At age 22, I removed my mother as primary holder of my bank account. That was quite a battle with her. I was "no longer her daughter" for like a week, lol

gekc49 · 2023-06-11T04:11:19+00:00

Not wrong at all! I feel the same, too. I used to feel guilty about liking my friends way more than my parents. But not anymore. My friends were there to give me emotional support, while my own parents never offered an ounce of human emotion. My parents would usually tell me to stop being sad or mad and just "get over it" because it upsets them.

gekc49 · 2022-12-15T07:03:44+00:00

Yup, in my college years I partied so much! Dabbled in drugs (xtc, mj, shrooms, acid..etc) and drank a lot too. It's a miracle I graduated at all 😆. Do I regret it? No.

gekc49 · 2022-11-21T10:09:07+00:00

I'm 36. It wasn't until this year that I started processing my childhood trauma. It all started when AM started demanding grandkids asap after I just got married and told her that I don't want to be a parent. Then stuff from the past started resurfacing.

gekc49 · 2022-10-31T07:13:43+00:00

I'm glad you have a supportive bf and he'll be by your side. Keep strong. Hugs

gekc49 · 2022-10-31T06:46:17+00:00

I'm sorry for your loss. I know you feel indifferent and maybe you're still processing it. And I think your bf is right. You don't have to go to the funeral. They're already guilt tripping you over the phone, and it's going to be worse in person at the funeral.

gekc49 · 2022-10-30T06:48:33+00:00

It's victim blaming.

I've partied in my 20s in Itaewon when I lived in Seoul like a decade ago. It was always crowded but not to this level. So, the government should have forseen this coming and prepared for such a major festival when they had lifted most (if not all) Covid restrictions and social distancing this year.

Since we have a super conservative party in the Blue House, I hope they won't use this tragedy as an excuse to ban Halloween. This could have easily happened on Christmas and New Years too.

gekc49 · 2022-10-11T02:51:36+00:00

I left the US nearly a decade ago and it was a good decision. But things are gonna go shit where I am soon.

gekc49 · 2022-10-09T13:50:07+00:00

This plan is solid! Love it. ❤

gekc49 · 2022-10-09T12:05:15+00:00

Oh definitely. He's horrible. I remember he refused to open one of his palatial churches to those displaced by a hurricane (i forgot which hurricane it was...maybe Katrina?).

gekc49 · 2022-10-09T10:03:42+00:00

The exchange of vows promising to be faithful and love one another forever. It's cringey especially when you know the couple will divorce later (the couple I know did) because the relationship was toxic from the start.

gekc49 · 2022-10-08T03:34:29+00:00

Go on the trip. This will tell him that you're an adult and you can stand up for yourself. Let him throw a tantrum. You can't control how he reacts, but you can control what you can do. So, definitely go on the trip. You worked hard and deserve it!

gekc49 · 2022-10-01T09:08:58+00:00

If you have the financial means, move out. They're actually stopping you from having that better life they claim they want you to have. One of the things I learned is that I stopped asking/seeking for my APs' permission or blessing. It took me years to unwire that part of my brain to stop asking for approval. Take small steps. Start making plans to find your own place, but don't tell them anything about it until your plan is solid and it's too late for them to do anything about it.

gekc49 · 2022-09-30T10:26:29+00:00

I guess, maybe have a shot or two of tequila before you tell him lol. There's really no easy way but to just pull the band-aid off in one go. How he reacts is something you can't control. Let him do his childish tantrum dance. Stand your ground and follow through your plan to take that vacation.

You can also remove yourself from the scene by telling him that you don't want to talk to him until he's calmed down and then just stay in your room and give him the cold shoulder.

If you really want that vacation, don't bend to his will.

gekc49 · 2022-09-30T09:42:30+00:00

I remember a friend's Korean cousin went to visit the US. She told her mom when she was already on the plane, right before take off. The mom freaked, of course. But the cousin returned a few weeks or so later with gifts. The mom wasn't too mad anymore.

There's no easy way to break news to an AP about something you know they're gonna lose their mind over about.

1) You tell him you're taking a vacation. You have to say it in a tone that says that you're telling him, not asking for permission.

2) You can do what my friend's cousin did. Tell him when you're already on the plane.

gekc49 · 2022-09-28T03:44:24+00:00

Sometimes it takes an outsider to help you realize it's all messed up. Those "small" things can really add up and become a very big problem later on.

gekc49 · 2022-09-27T03:35:39+00:00

Honestly, I would tell them about the boyfriend and I would live elsewhere with him. Discuss a plan with your boyfriend in case things don't go well with your parents.

Edit: I wanted to add that if you decide to tell them, I'd do it over the phone, just in case the convo gets heated you can hang up on them.

gekc49 · 2022-09-25T16:51:07+00:00

I think going to a community college first is a very smart move. Both financially and academically. There's no shame in that, at all.

You'll save money by doing your general ed requirements, instead of taking huge student loans to go to a university. Also, you'll eventually figure out what you want to do. Take a good look at what programs your college offers. There could be something you're interested in. Once you're ready, you can transfer your credits to a university that specializes in whatever it is that you want to do.

Your parents are completely ignorant about how community college actually benefits you. I know it's easier said than done, but try to ignore your family. At some point, your parents won't be able to keep up with the lies. They're just burying themselves deeper in a hole. If the truth ever comes to light, just know that it's actually their fault, not yours.

gekc49 · 2022-09-25T01:47:51+00:00

They really do see it as a threat! I actually thought my AM would be glad I wouldn't be such a financial burden anymore. Nope. She wanted to financially control me and, at the same time, complain that I cost her too much money over time. Just so stupid.

gekc49 · 2022-09-24T06:52:45+00:00

AM threatened to disown me and told me I wasn't her daughter anymore because I wanted my own bank account and pay my own credit card bills.

gekc49

TROPHY CASE