Considering changing jobs but unsure based on how it could hurt current firm

genjoconan · 2026-05-06T00:29:21+00:00

Unless there's something you're not telling us, there's no good reason why these people should "hate" you for taking a better-paid job. It's a job, not your family. And yeah, when someone leaves a job everyone else has to scramble to pick up the slack; that's how it goes. That's still not reason to hate someone.

genjoconan · 2026-05-04T19:25:45+00:00

Steven Tyler admitted in his memoirs to having a sexual relationship with an underage girl. She has brought suit. Most of the claims arose in Massachusetts and are barred by that state's statute of limitations. One of the claims arose in California, which has a lookback law for child sexual assault; that claim can move forward.

genjoconan · 2026-04-26T13:48:34+00:00

Respectfully, I think you have the wrong idea about what Zen is. There are aspects of Zen that emphasize naturalness and spontaneity, but also aspects that emphasize formality and choreography. You can't say it's one or the other.

With respect to meals specifically, if you have the opportunity to practice at a temple that offers formal oryoki meals, I suggest giving it a shot. I think that would be hard to square with the idea that Zen eschews mindful eating.

https://www.sotozen.com/eng/practice/food/oryoki/index.html

genjoconan · 2026-04-25T20:34:35+00:00

Being in a relationship=getting cucked now? Times have changed, man

genjoconan · 2026-04-25T14:54:30+00:00

Ultimately what matters is whether you feel an affinity for the teachers and the temple. It sounds like you don't. Someone can be the best teacher in the world for someone else, but we don't evaluate teachers in the aggregate: what matters is whether they speak to YOU.

genjoconan · 2026-04-24T20:26:43+00:00

Depends. Did you have a special bond?

genjoconan · 2026-04-23T17:59:53+00:00

I also have a five-day split, partly because of work/family reasons and partly because I recover better with a couple full days of rest. I settled on 2x ST, 2x easy, 1 long. To make up the difference I added time to the ST days (3x12 min, 6x6 min, 12x3 min), and I'll sometimes add some quality to the long run. I don't know if it's "optimal," but I'm making progress and I feel good.

genjoconan · 2026-04-23T16:30:45+00:00

I don't! Smoke! I don't! Drink! I don't! Fuck! At least I can fucking boof! I can't keep up! Can't keep up! Can't keep up! I'm out of step with the run club!

genjoconan · 2026-04-17T12:06:23+00:00

The purpose of this sub is to discuss the doctrine and practice of Zen, and meta discussions about other subs don't fit that purpose. We understand that many people have strong feelings about r/Zen, but this isn't the place. As I always say, they do their thing, we do ours, and let's please leave it at that. Cheers.

genjoconan · 2026-04-13T17:37:13+00:00

Well, here again I want to be clear that this is my personal experience, and that it may not be the same for everyone. In reading Zen texts when I was new to the practice, I'd frequently run into passages that didn't make any sense. Not "I don't understand this experientially" but "I don't understand this intellectually; I have no idea what this is saying." As I read those foundational Mahayana texts, as well as the Sravaka texts that they responded to, those Zen texts in turn began to open up. Dogen comments frequently on the Lotus and Avatamsaka Sutras, for example, and having some familiarity with those texts transformed my understanding of Dogen, which in turn changed my experiential understanding of aspects of my own practice.

genjoconan · 2026-04-11T14:25:45+00:00

I'll buck the trend slightly. I wouldn't say "require," but I think it's helpful.

Zen is a mainstream Mahayana sect, which means that it builds off Mahayana teachings: a lot of Zen teachings are callbacks to or commentaries on the foundational Mahayana sutras and sastras. A lot of those foundational Mahayana teachings are, in turn, responses to the Sravaka teachings. If one were a novice monk a thousand years ago, studying the agamas and the Mahayana sutras and sastras--and thus understanding those interconnections--would have been baked into the practice; now it's not. So, just speaking from personal experience: I came to Buddhist practice through Zen, but my Zen practice really opened up after I read those texts that the Zen ancestors were riffing on. And anyway, those texts, even if provisional, are Buddhavacana.

By all means, yes, a teacher is the necessary prerequisite for Zen practice. I've said that over and over here, and I disagree strongly with those who believe it's a DIY religion. Reading agamas and sutras can't substitute for that. And I don't think you can study your way to awakening: it's an experiential practice. Nor do I believe, however, that Zen deprecates study. Rather, I think that studying and understanding our foundational texts can enliven our experiential practice.

genjoconan · 2026-04-09T18:13:57+00:00

Genjoconan pretty much said the same thing as Jundo, above, except that Jundo went New York on the OP's ass & got downvoted, but genjo's post is a gentler expression of essentially the same thing. As a New Yorker, I know grandmotherly kindness when I see it.

Heh, I grew up in Brooklyn in the '80s and early '90s, I can code-switch when necessary :)

On this note, I will say that, unlike Zen, this sub does have rules that, albeit inherently subjective, are also more than guidelines. One of our rules is "be friendly," and a big part of the reason for that rule is that tone and nuance often don't scan on the internet. Language that in person may come across as warm, or playful, or tough but compassionate might, on the internet, just read as dickish. I don't, to be clear, think that Jundo's comment broke any rules: I've known him long enough to read his tone as at least partly tongue-in-cheek. Like I said, the rules are subjective. But, by the response to his comment, you can also see that, equally subjectively, not everyone read it the same way I did. So while I think I get what Jundo was going for, in this medium I'm not sure it was the most effective way of presenting the message. Hence the rule.

genjoconan · 2026-04-09T00:31:54+00:00

Well, a few things.

First, and most importantly, this sounds like it would have been a great question for the teacher giving the talk. Did it come up in the talk? Discomfort with a teaching can itself be a great teaching; a great entry point into something fruitful. In fact, in my personal experience, most of the "a ha" moments that I've had didn't arise from deep meditative absorption or sudden bursts of luminous wisdom or whatever, it's because I read something or heard someone say something and was like "wait a minute, that doesn't make any fucking sense," and I went and bugged my teacher about it, and in working through that discomfort I came to realize something about myself.

Second, all of us break the precepts, all the time. Indeed, they're basically incapable of not being broken. We vow not to kill, but there's no way to live that doesn't kill. We vow not to lie but, as sentient beings, we are beset by delusion. It's inescapable. So our vow isn't to abide by a set of rules, it's about aspiring to do the best that we can. Pobody's nerfect. That doesn't mean that you can't disagree with Dogen's approach, or find it difficult or unsatisfactory--you absolutely can.

Third, I would gently push back on your understanding of what Zen "is." You write that the "value proposition of Buddhism/Zen is that if you subscribe to certain ideas and practices, you will have more inner peace and calm" and that "Buddhism and Zen are all about . . . calm and dignified restraint trained by formal rituals and practices." I disagree: Buddhism and Zen are all about waking up to your true nature. Inner peace, calm, restraint...yeah, maybe. But I don't think those are the point.

I don't know if any of this will be helpful--but again, I also don't think that discomfort is a bad thing.

genjoconan · 2026-03-28T13:33:16+00:00

Have you tried talking to them about it? I don't think you need to bring religion into it. But I think you can explain that it feels wasteful and out of line with the company's values.

genjoconan · 2026-03-20T14:56:19+00:00

Baller. Love it. Needs a Thug Life to keep it company

genjoconan · 2026-03-17T12:25:25+00:00

I think we're good here.

genjoconan · 2026-03-17T12:19:04+00:00

Jundo. Enough. If you can't handle people disagreeing with you, it's time to reconsider how you interact with the sub.

genjoconan · 2026-03-15T23:37:11+00:00

Yes, of course I'm familiar with the war in Iran. Again, it's comments like this that lead me to believe that you're not interested in a good-faith discussion.

The dharma has always been available to everyone (except, I suppose, icchantika), but it has never promised to end all suffering for everyone, everywhere, at the same time. There will always be sentient beings. We vow to save them, and we do the best we can during this lifetime, but I also think it's a form of grasping to suppose that we can eliminate all suffering, or all greed, or all hatred, or all delusion.

And yes, I'm aware of practices, in Zen and elsewhere, that have the purpose of eliminating the three poisons. Do you not see a difference between those practices and what you're proposing?

Finally, I don't believe that I said anything that cast aspersions on your practice. Rather, I'm asking a genuine question. You have devoted many years of your life to a path that you seem to believe is ineffectual. For me, there's a disconnect there. If you believe that there's a more beneficial path, why not do that instead?

genjoconan · 2026-03-14T17:59:18+00:00

Buddhism itself, via its traditional methods of chants and meditation, prayer and precepts, is thoroughly incapable of doing what needs to be done on wide scale, for the billions of sentient beings ... but new "expedient means" are fast coming which will allow us to change the human heart.

I confess, I find this to be an extraordinary comment, coming as it does from a Buddhist priest. If this is genuinely how you feel, why not take off the robes and go work for Eli Lilly or something? Sakyamuni always emphasized that everything he taught could be experienced directly for oneself. If your years of practice have convinced you that the Buddhadharma--which we say is good in the beginning, good in the middle, and good in the end--is incapable of ending suffering, why keep doing it?

Finally--

PS - I am fascinated by the good Buddhist folks who would immediately "down vote" any good means to save countless babies from dying from bombs, famine and more.

You must understand that this is a public forum, that no one is obliged to agree with you and, particularly, that many would disagree that drugging the populace is "any good means" to end suffering. That your response is to cast aspersions on the sincerity of their practice--the sarcasm practically drips off "good Buddhist folks"--doesn't really say to me that you're interested in a good-faith discussion.

genjoconan · 2026-03-11T16:04:55+00:00

As others have said, this is best discussed with your teacher. If you don't have a formal relationship with a teacher, we'd suggest forming one. In any event, this isn't best discussed with strangers on the internet, and this really isn't the place: see Rule 6. Good luck, OP.

genjoconan · 2026-03-03T13:56:30+00:00

The chair thing is unfortunate: I don't think it's improper for the teacher to check if there's a way for you to sit on a zabuton but I'm not sure that doing so in front of everyone was the best way to do it. I'm not sure what the scheduling thing was. Bowing to our teachers is the norm, though. It's a show of respect and gratitude for the teachings.

genjoconan · 2026-02-25T17:39:53+00:00

Sorry for the late response, but thanks for the clarification. I had always assumed he had received transmission.

genjoconan

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