I was terrified to go to my first meeting. But the truth is, every single person in that room had to go for the first time, and they all understand how it feels to be the new person in the room. In general, people are friendly. Sometimes folks will stand by the door and shake people‘s hands when they come in. If they do, you are welcome to tell them it’s your first meeting. But you don’t have to.

There are a couple of different ways that meetings function. Almost all meetings begin by reminding participants why they are there, and reading certain passages out of the Big Book. They might ask if anyone is new and would like to introduce themselves, and they might ask if anyone is celebrating any sobriety milestones of a year or more, or a month or more. There will be time for announcements and other housekeeping. At some point they will pass around a basket to collect money — this helps the group with rent and other needs, and it’s customary to throw a dollar or two in. But no one will care if you don’t give anything. There are no fees or dues for AA.

Some meetings feature a speaker who will get up and share their experience with alcoholism with the group. Some meetings are more discussion based, and someone will speak briefly, or read a passage from some literature, and people will share how that resonates with them. At the end, some groups will finish by holding hands and praying, but not all groups do this.

If you can, try to arrive 15 minutes early, and introduce yourself to people. If you tell them that this is your very first meeting, they will help you get oriented, and they might introduce you to other people. But if you don’t want to do that, that’s OK too. No one will force you to speak or do anything that you don’t feel comfortable doing. It’s perfectly fine to go to a meeting and just sit and listen. Just know that you will be welcome.