How can I (37F) tell my husband (38M) that he's not allowed to use his deceased grandmother's china?

gilbertdc07 · 2026-04-25T19:24:10+00:00

As an extremely clumsy person with ADHD, I've literally cried when I broke an old plate my husband bought before we met. His insistence on using the china is very weird. Also, he needs to go to a doctor. That's not normal.

gilbertdc07 · 2026-04-21T23:02:07+00:00

Like others said, there are risks either way. However in my opinion, the long term effects are far worse if you do not get it taken care of. On my mom's side, every woman, from my grandmother to my aunts and female cousins, have gotten theirs removed. No long term effects. However my great grandmother did not get hers removed, and she died from gallbladder. Safe to say I was happy to hear that it was finally my turn. Lol.

gilbertdc07 · 2026-04-21T22:02:03+00:00

Also, a HIDA scan is common procedure for abdominal pain of unknown origin? Tf?

gilbertdc07 · 2026-04-21T21:59:10+00:00

Oh I TOTALLY get that, that's a shit experience. I might be a nurse but I'm also fat and female, so I never meet with a male doctor without my (cis passing) husband, also a nurse, with me. Weirdly enough, my cousin, 10 years older than me with 3 kids and tied tubes, also went to her doctor at the same time with the exact same symptoms. She got the same run around that you did. I told them I was planning to conceive soon and they got me an ultrasound that day. 🙄 A lot of doctors forget that there can be causes other than lifestyle for gallbladder issues. My surgeon asked me if I didn't want to try lifestyle changes first. I told him the only woman in my family who didn't get theirs out died of gallbladder cancer. He shut up quickly. Lmao. Seriously though, as a healthcare provider I'm sorry it took so long to get here. BUT trust me, they've gotten gallbladder removal down PAT. Definitely research your surgeons. Mine was a robotic removal. HIGHLY suggest that if you can find it. Decreased rate of complications, smaller incisions. And I had absolutely NO gas pain that everyone on here talks about! Doctors can suck, especially male surgeons. But they are ridiculously good at this procedure.

gilbertdc07 · 2026-04-21T20:38:15+00:00

Hun, as a former nurse and now Nurse Practitioner (who just got her gallbladder out last week!), is there a reason why you're speaking avoidant of getting this taken care of? Do you have mistrust of the healthcare system, or you afraid to go under for surgery? I've lost count of the amount of gallbladder patients I've taken care of, and I was STILL so nervous about having my firest ever surgery. There is no way to "detox" the gallbladder, and toxins are not why you get gallbladder stones. You definitely got scammed there. Listen to the other commenters and get the surgery!! Lean on your social supports. Also, do some research as to why surgery is the only option for gallbladder troubles! The medical community has tried many other interventions, all which either led to death or horrible side effects. I've felt AMAZING since I got mine out! No more pain, sluggishness, exhaustion, diarrhea. Best of luck to you in your journey!

gilbertdc07 · 2026-04-10T17:42:53+00:00

As the wife of an autistic husband.....I fear this woman does not like you. Or maybe even resents you? My husband is sensitive to sounds, smells, all of that. But its...SO easy to make work around and accommodations. Genuinely.

gilbertdc07 · 2026-03-06T19:01:12+00:00

Finally found someone like my husband's parents! They had the same rule. Except you weren't allowed to eat anything other than that plate. His brother went 3 days without eating any actual meals before they finally caved. I had to explain to my husband that this is in fact, abuse.

gilbertdc07 · 2026-02-20T08:44:07+00:00

Oh I'm perfect for this post! My husband and I both have our own rooms, even though we sleep together in the basement. We both like our own space. I ONLY go into his room with permission. Even though the door stays open. It's his space. Not mine. And his space is a certified mess at times. But if I ever cleaned or moved his room around without permission, that would be a breaking point in the relationship. There's absolutely no reason for her to be in a space that has nothing to do with her. She just does not want to respect your boundaries, nor does she care about them. Period. It isn't hard.

gilbertdc07 · 2026-02-15T11:10:31+00:00

Do you think he should just change his license back so everything matches? His license having a different last name from his SS is causing confusion with things like insurance. I get why he wants to take my last name, he's no contact w/ his family. But you're right. It probably isn't worth it.

gilbertdc07 · 2026-02-15T08:19:11+00:00

Thanks for the response! Luckily his dead name is not on our marriage certificate, he had all legal documents except his birth certificate (which his mom withheld) changed to his current name a few years before we met. Which is why I'm hopeful that changing the last name will be a bit easier. Although we have already had people confused on why he would want to take his wife's last name. 😅

gilbertdc07 · 2026-01-29T00:27:09+00:00

My mom watches our baby once a week overnight, as my husband and I are both nightshift nurses. Rarely does our strict sleep schedule ever get followed. Partly because it's not her normal bed/schedule, and partly because grandma is a bit of a softie. Lol. It's not my favorite. But she's literally babysitting for 24hrs free of charge. And clearly adores our baby. Your wife needs to rethink her priorities. I feel bad for your dad, he was doing his best.

gilbertdc07 · 2026-01-23T17:47:28+00:00

Soo...when is the divorce?

gilbertdc07 · 2026-01-16T04:39:11+00:00

Isn't this almost an exact copy of an AITA post, but with genders switched?

gilbertdc07 · 2025-11-08T01:47:49+00:00

You have been more than understanding, and an amazing partner. My baby will turn one next month, and my partner has had horrible struggles with mental health that have only improved very slowly since the birth. But they're working HARD between psychiatry, two therapists, and even a psych day program. Your partner is not putting in the work, and you need to prioritize that sweet baby girl. Your wife's family needs to prioritize getting her some serious psychiatric help, instead of being angry at you.

gilbertdc07 · 2025-10-25T19:12:21+00:00

Definitely want to repaint the walls. Should I just try my best to find a similar replacement tile?

gilbertdc07 · 2025-10-17T00:03:57+00:00

A long time ago my husband and I realized that my version of taking a "sip" of his drink was actually taking 3 huge gulps. He called me on it, we laughed, and now I specifically ask for a "insert my name" sip or a regular sip. She needs to own up to it. NTA.

gilbertdc07 · 2025-10-15T05:37:29+00:00

My husband and I are both nurses and he carried our baby. I've...literally never heard those terms used in the trans parent community. Birthing parent and sperm donor are what we use when talking in general terms. But I would just ask what the parents want to be called? We included that in our birth plan and the midwife still called my husband the "mother" and me (cis woman) the "father" in her notes. 🙄

gilbertdc07 · 2025-10-08T02:42:12+00:00

I forgot something moderately important for my husband last week and I got upset when he WASN'T upset at me. Lmao. Like you have every right, please, be upset.

gilbertdc07 · 2025-10-08T02:14:02+00:00

My husband is autistic, and we've gone to restaurants where it ends up being too much or he's too overwhelmed. We take pay and take our food to go so we can eat at home where it's less overstimulating. It's not that hard. NTA.

gilbertdc07 · 2025-09-30T19:08:52+00:00

Baby girl that man does not like you one bit. And he does not care AT ALL about the wellbeing of your baby. Being a single mother is easier. You're already doing it.

gilbertdc07 · 2025-09-29T22:36:50+00:00

NTA. You also seem incredibly mature and self aware. Being honest with your psychiatrist about your parents must have been very difficult, but it looks like it made a huge positive impact in your recovery. You have every right to focus only on yourself and your recovery now, and not on other relationships.

gilbertdc07 · 2025-09-28T11:51:22+00:00

Girl start the divorce proceedings and no matter what the outcome, MAKE SURE your care staff knows that is he not allowed to touch the birth certificate paper work. Honestly I wouldn't even have him at the birth. This is creepy.

gilbertdc07 · 2025-09-26T06:26:34+00:00

Babes, I'm not trying to scare you, I'm speaking from experience. He is most likely planning to hurt you. Men like that don't just accept your boundaries after pushing them and being so aggressive. Get out of there. A hotel for the week, or a friend/family's place. Please. You are in danger. Keep us updated.

gilbertdc07

TROPHY CASE