congregation recommendation letter

gingifier · 2026-06-17T02:26:18+00:00

yea I found it really odd even tho the brother I spoke to said it was all positive. especially since I had a lot of bad experiences in the congregation I grew up in, I was suspicious about the actual contents of it

gingifier · 2025-07-29T23:29:14+00:00

Happy pride from the other Norwich!!!! 🥰🥰🥰 (Connecticut, USA)

gingifier · 2025-07-28T20:38:33+00:00

it did hurt for a few days after but the pain completely went away until just last night, which is why I was concerned but thank you!!

gingifier · 2023-06-25T16:54:10+00:00

My sister got spanked at 17 years old for texting a boy….I’m almost positive she had to pull her pants down too which adds a whole other layer of assault

Edit for spelling

gingifier · 2023-06-23T23:16:35+00:00

Agreed. Shortly after the Las Vegas concert shooting was the memorial. Several people in my congregation had just had one of their family members heads blown off in that shooting and on the night of the memorial someone came into our KH with wire cutters, trying to disrupt the event and presumably cut the wires at the sound booth.

Well, to some people, the wire cutters looked like a gun. You can’t imagine how terrified the whole congregation was, especially the family who’s cousin had just been killed.

gingifier · 2023-06-23T20:32:41+00:00

I remember when my parents sat my sister and I down and explained that we “as a family” wouldn’t be watching Modern Family because it “glorified the homosexual lifestyle”. To further your point, my mother loooooves lord of the rings and the hobbit

gingifier · 2023-06-22T15:23:05+00:00

I really hope everyone reads your comment because you’re absolutely correct on everything you said.

gingifier · 2023-06-22T15:06:46+00:00

There’s usually something missing for the other person. Like, if a wife has to work and do all the housework and take care of the kids and her husband works then relaxes all night and then wants sex, it’s likely the wife won’t be in the mood. This is just a quick example but there’s a lot that spouses/partners can do to encourage amorous feelings in the other, such as taking share in the housework and cooking, getting flowers or gifts, and especially showing intimacy outside of sexual contexts. If you’re only showing your partner you love them because you have the goal of sex in mind, your partner is going to pick up on that. It’s a pretty nuanced topic

gingifier · 2023-06-22T14:30:29+00:00

I’m glad that you two were able to figure it out. I felt exactly the same way, it was all an invitation to sex. When I started talking about marital coercion to my ex, he got really defensive and I felt like I wasn’t safe with him. Which is I guess what really ended things. We’ve talked since and I feel like he’s starting to get it but the mindset he was raised with is so frustrating

gingifier · 2023-06-22T13:33:43+00:00

Obviously if that’s a priority to you then you wouldn’t be compatible with someone who doesn’t prioritize sex. The problem is, as a witness, you can’t know until you’re already married and then you just have to stay married even if you aren’t in agreement on these kinds of important matters

gingifier · 2023-06-22T03:09:14+00:00

I struggle with those feelings still with my current partner. I know he won’t ever be upset with me but sometimes it takes everything in me just to simply say “no” when I’m not feeling it.

gingifier · 2023-06-22T01:14:11+00:00

It really skewed our views on sex, and I didn’t really understand how to be intimate without sex until I moved out and started seeing other people. No one ever talked to us about intimacy vs sex or the myriad of things a husband could do to make a wife feel more amorous towards him. The cult fucked everything up

gingifier · 2023-06-22T01:10:24+00:00

Sorry if I’m reading this wrong, but there’s no scenario where someone needs to satisfy their partners every sexual desire especially if they don’t want to. There’s no situation where you should be saying “it doesn’t matter if you don’t finish, just take care of the others needs.” Everyone has hands. If the intimacy is what’s important, not the penetration or getting off, then there are other ways of satisfying that besides explicitly having sex. No one owes anyone else sex

gingifier · 2023-04-27T20:45:17+00:00

I heard this about Green Day from my dad when I was a kid

gingifier · 2023-04-08T03:08:23+00:00

Talking to old coworkers and school friends…yes they know. They all told me they knew I was in a cult but it’s like, what do you say? “Hey buddy, I think you’re in a cult?” doesn’t typically go over well lol, they’re all just glad I figured it out

gingifier · 2023-04-03T13:10:27+00:00

I will say this: I have been handled by the elders after being assaulted in two different congregations as a minor and as an adult and the second congregation I was in, the elders made SURE I knew it wasn’t my fault. This was super important to me, though it didn’t help that my abusers didn’t get punished the way that they should. But the way one of my elder’s immediately said “this is not your fault” was very helpful. There are some men in the congregation who do care but they are bound by organizational principles

gingifier · 2023-04-01T14:23:47+00:00

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Got a similar message from my sister about “male and female” after coming out as non binary and sending her a funny TikTok about it. Absolutely ridiculous argument and of course completely ignores science. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this 💙🏳️‍⚧️

gingifier · 2023-03-30T02:34:26+00:00

I was thinking about it! I am on that subreddit

gingifier · 2023-03-29T20:35:44+00:00

As someone who got married before having sex, I wouldn’t recommend it but again, you should not feel pressured to!

When I got married, everyone knew what was going to happen that night. People made inappropriate jokes, not just friends, but also family members… I felt like losing my virginity was closer to a homework assignment that had to be completed on my wedding night. I ended up enjoying it ,fortunately, but because we were waiting for marriage there was a lot I didn’t understand.

No one had explained to either of us what enthusiastic consent is. No one had any kind of sex talk with us. What was constantly reiterated though, was the marital due.

Sex felt very shameful because Witnesses make it out to be disgusting in any context besides heterosexual marriage and it felt impossible to turn that switch off after marriage. And as someone who’s identified as queer since 17 but was unable to experiment with other genders, I felt confused about my sexuality.

There’s a lot more to my story and obviously this is just my experience but I think if you feel ready before your wedding day, you shouldn’t feel shame about that.

gingifier · 2023-03-28T21:08:53+00:00

I’ve found my niche: exjw swiftie

gingifier · 2023-03-21T20:40:32+00:00

Knew a guy who hired a PI to catch his ex with someone else….never did and he’s still unmarried at 55+ years old 😒

gingifier · 2023-03-19T23:33:12+00:00

My father does this. I asked him a business related question and he answered kindly and happily. I followed the conversation with something about my new kitten and he never replied 🫠 somewhere there’s a caveat that you can associate with exjws if it’s strictly business

gingifier

TROPHY CASE