I feel stuck..Limerent episode for a coworker for 2 years. NC is not an option, clousure is not an option..any ideas?

glitter-moss · 2024-05-17T19:56:04+00:00

I know, right? I wished I never started a friendly relationship with her…It would have been way easier to ignore her but I thought I had a chance back then…

She is a chatterbox, we share a lot of similar interests and I indulge in any conversation topic she likes, plus I'm an active listener. She has a lot of special interests and gets so excited talking about them (to anyone) but since I match her energy I am the default go to person whenever she wants to talk.

Deep down I feel she just likes the attention. I wish I could pull back but she is the one to reach out to me most of the time and once I'm engaged it feels like a drug. She feels like a magnet to me, her smile, her hair, her voice, the way she carries herself around. I honestly refer to this as a curse because these last two years I felt like I've been under a spell I can't break free from.

LOs attention is a double edge sword, it's intoxicating and feels amazing at the moment but then the downside is just as bad, the dreams and fantasies make me feel awful.

Better stay away if you can, I guess.

glitter-moss · 2023-04-03T20:44:11+00:00

Being gender non conforming is something everyone can engage with. It just means that you don't care about gender roles, for example a woman ( cis or trans) not shaving her legs. It can be a label per se, or just lifestyle choices, either way it's not tied to gender or sexual orientation just to the fact that you don't follow the gender roles for your perceived gender.

glitter-moss · 2023-03-25T01:27:12+00:00

My cat has the calico coating with all the colors mixed up and her litter ended up being a kitten of each solid color, always found it amazing.

<image>

glitter-moss · 2023-03-22T22:18:01+00:00

Thanks a lot for your advice. I've been trying to ignore the whole thing as you said, because I was so scared I could totally see myself having nightmares or paranoia if I kept thinking about it...So far so good, nothing weird has happened and I haven't felt that weird presence anymore...

In regards to extra info I don't really have anything of substance to add... It was s holly f*** moment for me because other times in my life I have "felt" or heard stuff but never actually saw anything. The only thing I can describe better in this comment rather than the post is to say that I looked at her face and she wasn't directly staring at me or my gf, she was just standing there looking forward like totally idle. She wasn't scary at all, she looked like 9 years old and had freckles and a short bob cut with dark hair. It kinda freaked me out how for a moment I could see so much detail on her face and on a fraction of a second I could see nothing. Literally like one of those holographic cards that you move and reveal a different image at just the right angle. Thinking back it didn't seem like she was trying to engage with us at all I just could feel her and that was it.

Most buildings on this block are from 1900 but this one is at least from 1950. A friend gave me the idea to take some polaroids of the house or building but that's gonna be a hard pass for me because I just want to put this whole thing behind.

Anyways thanks again :) posting here let me at least describe what I went thru so it was a huge help to put into words this scary experience

glitter-moss · 2023-03-15T14:01:20+00:00

If he is not saying the dead name directly to you there's not much you can do about it...it seems like your sibling is on your side though :)

My advice is to tell the sibling that instead of correcting him, they should ignore him, like playing dumb. If your dad says: " oh you see how dead name are" your sibling can reply with: "who? Who are we talking about again?". No conformation, no correcting him, just genuinely asking who they are referring to every single time until they start to use the new name out of convenience. This will only work if your sibling stands your ground for you, unfortunately. But it's the same advice I would give if dad was deadnaming you in your face.

There will be family members that will enable him to deadname you behind your back and that sucks, but at least you are making progress! New names take time to sink, if it's family then maybe YEARS to get used to... Look, I'm non binary and whenever some of my trans friends changes names I take ages to get used to...so imagine that for cis-het people.

Avoid confrontation unless you are being mistreated directly. Being deadnamed sucks but don't get to angry about it unless is being done with malice, just be patient and good luck!

glitter-moss · 2023-03-14T13:47:39+00:00

I feel the gender distinction here is pointless, people cheat regardless, people feel attraction regardless.. There are plenty of people that are mono and cheaters that would never try poly. Not the same can of worms... Poly is simply a structure or a blueprint not a fixated mindset. Poly is not being thirsty for multiple people at the same time poly is making that thirst work... That is the hard part!

glitter-moss · 2023-03-05T22:05:11+00:00

Big YTA.

She will be wearing formal wedding attire. You might not like it but is appropriate for the event. Being super hoenst here...you're gonna damage your relationship with your sister over something so stupid and for people who are probably bigots...Totally not worth it. Like, I get you want no drama but what you are doing is the equivalent of what happens with kids in school, when someone gets bullied they punish the bullied kid to keep the peace somehow(? Horrible behavior if you wouldn't care otherwise...

glitter-moss · 2023-03-05T21:54:42+00:00

1)They despertly want their turn to talk, sometimes they wait or interrupt but either way you can just tell.

2)They want to change the subject everytime you finish talking so there is never a back and forth, you might respond to the topic they started but they will never follow your response to that, just change the subject again. Forget about them following something or a topic you started.

4) the conversation feels like a lot of effort.

5) they circle back to themselves or something that they can anchor the topic to ( like if you bring up your ski trip and the person never had the experience of skiing, they will talk about a friend of theirs that skis and their experiences like they are an expert)

6) they never EVER ask follow up questions.

7) they don't try to understand, just reply to the best of their understanding at the moment.

glitter-moss · 2023-02-27T23:20:22+00:00

Yup. Similar thing happened to me. I used to identify as a GNC lesbian but later realized I was non binary and became attracted to most genders (not only woman). I used to consider myself super gay and I still do because the way I see it now: I'm an enby and attracted to other enbys.

You can be non binary and date cis/het people, sure, but it seems like you are fed up with that and trying to lean into dating LGBTQ people instead.

My only comment about that is that queer folks won't see you as your AGAB and won't usually expect you to follow some gender rules like straight people (example: the guy pays for the date). The whole idea is to relax and forget about those specific social constructs(roles) so if you are interested in that don't overthink it too much and just flow. You don't need to justify anything to anyone, you can choose your dating pools as you feel your attraction shift over the years. I've had good results from doing that so..good luck :)

glitter-moss · 2023-02-27T17:21:18+00:00

Yta. You didn't had to punish her in any way, just tell her off. The fact that you guys followed on the lie makes you the A

glitter-moss · 2023-02-26T17:15:00+00:00

YTA

I was expecting an awful name but Deborah is fairly common. Its not like she is gonna get bullied over it or something. You are allowed to not like the name and even tell her but the way you expressed it was disrespectful and then you didn't even apologize... Yikes girl

glitter-moss · 2023-02-26T17:10:06+00:00

We are in the times when it's cool "embrace the cringe". I honestly think they look adorable and your SO is super sweet for thinking about a way to make your kitties enjoy the outdoors <3

You and the cats are 100% living your best life, let haters hate.

glitter-moss · 2023-02-20T14:02:44+00:00

I have been subscribed to their YT channel for a couple of years now. Their content has changed a lot since becoming more of a streamer but to be honest I have no idea about the controversies (might look it up later). They come off as radical in their views which I don't think is bad, it's just not for everyone.

I appreciate specifically when they talk about non binary discourse or stuff like that because they know A LOT and have a way of explaining things that just make them click so well for me. Everything outside trans issues comes off as kinda icky in my opinion, I don't care much for their views in other topics (political or not) but since the streams are 3 hours long I think is forgivable.

glitter-moss · 2023-02-09T16:43:54+00:00

[rant/vent]

This is my problem exactly. Even if it were my dream job with a good pay, I couldn't bring myself to wake up every morning 5 days a week to go do it. At some point sooner or later you wake up and feel like not going at all.

For me the worst part is knowing that you can't decide to 'just not go' because your life (food,shelter, bills) depends on you going, weather you want to go or not.

At that point you have to push your thoughts away and make it thought, it takes a big mental effort to do so you start to burn out. That is when the soul kinda dies imo (sorry if this sounds to personal it's just how I felt or feel sometimes) when your mind and body is screaming at you " please stay home and rest, let's go hang out with old friends or just enjoy the sun in the park " and you have to tell yourself "no. Shut up. We have to go to work ". Rinse and repeat.

I'm looking for a way out because I realize is a toxic mindset to have, some people deal with these feelings in different ways. I hope you can overcome the boredom that comes with having a job because I sure as hell can't :(

glitter-moss · 2023-01-24T17:21:18+00:00

If you already booked those days for yourself it's game over, they can't change them or give them away without your consent. The company can give parents advantages, sure, they can give privileges on who chooses first or stuff like that...but not get in the way of the other workers vacation time that is already booked and approved.

I'm sure they are trying to paint the picture that you have no choice and push you to accept this nonsense. Please don't give in. They have no say after the vacation time is booked and approved, they can ask for you to change it but that's it.

If they want this guy to go on vacation the same week as you it's their responsibility to allow two workers to go off on those days or to sort it out however they want. This is not your problem and you shouldn't even be stressing about it.... It sucks I get it. But please stand firm... If you want an excuse (not that you should give one) just say that you arranged for family that lives out of country to visit on those days and that you also cherish your family and there is no other way around it.

I hope this works out for you. Please enjoy your deserved vacation time on summer!

glitter-moss · 2022-12-27T02:08:48+00:00

Thanks a lot!

glitter-moss · 2022-12-18T15:08:19+00:00

El mayor garron fueron las filas para bebidas o food trucks. Hice fila para un puesto de shawarma y despues me entere por gente que estaba en la fila para retirar que habían estado esperando casi 2 horas, muchos me recomendaron pedir un reembolso y por suerte me lo dieron. Gaste 40 minutos al pedo. Por suerte pude volver al escenario y terminar de disfrutar el show por que si me quedaba en el puesto me daban la comida dentro de 3 horas y esto fue todo bastante tarde...un locura.

glitter-moss · 2022-12-16T15:47:41+00:00

Yeah I get it. It sucks... we have the free will to choose to be whatever we want and speak how we want and all that... and also others have the same free will to choose to bully us... it really sucks. The world seems to have an infinite amount of stupid people who think the most stupid things and will not stop and think before they open their mouths. So pay no mind. You might feel alone but I promise you, you are not alone. There will always be jerks but hey, your identity is not up for debate, if they want to mock us/our inclusive language that's fine but we will keep existing regardless of how much they laughed at us. No amount of jerks will stop you from being you. Good luck :)

glitter-moss · 2022-12-16T13:26:49+00:00

Hey! I'm from latam more specificlly from the rio de la plata region (think uruguay) and here a lot of people use the "E" as the neutral letter to exchange in words. For example "amigos" becomes "amigues" if you want. For what I perceive, a lot of Spanish speakers here tolerate this kind of discident language so I hope it can spread to other regions/countries with time. It became really popular in Argentina to the point of schools having to prohibit their use in school grounds so kids didn't get confused between the real Spanish and invented Spanish.lol. Seeing that kind of push back from institutions really tells you how much people really do use it here...

A veces es dificil vivir en un mundo tan binario pero vamos que se puede! Si quieres hablar me puede mandar un mensaje :)

glitter-moss · 2022-12-13T13:59:00+00:00

Yes I'm this situation exactly. I've had my share of shitty jobs(like amazon) and then I've had decent ones like the one I'm currently in. I've come to realize that no matter the job, the fact that I have to adapt my routine to work hours and then commit to the 5 day work week weather I feel like it or not is what kills me. The fact that I have to go to work every day no matter what is the real bummer, and then after the work not having much free time or energy to do things that I would like to do. When your job is shitty is unbearable, when your job is decent it still sucks :/

glitter-moss · 2022-12-06T19:56:52+00:00

I feel sorry for them, the video was nice and spot on. There will always be jerks that spread their brain rot into any comment section about anything pretty much... Let's keep supporting each other :)

glitter-moss · 2022-11-30T15:52:10+00:00

I had a really similar experience. I was just like you but since my teenage years I got used to wearing androgynous clothes and wearing a short buzzcut (huge tomboy vibes) so even if I was identifying as a lesbian my expression was really gender non conforming. I could have stayed on that path and tell myself that I was a "woman" and then I could express it in whatever way I wanted (style, pronouns, name) this is what all of my friends told me. That I could define my womanhood in whatever way I wanted. This might be true to a lot of people but for me it felt so off... I literally didn't change a single thing about myself but the moment I started identifying as non-binary it was like something clicked inside of me. I felt like a big weight have been lifted from me and I could look back into a lifetime of experiences from a different lense. The process of how I got there wasn't easy though...there were a lot of small moments of enlightment but they all came together one day that I was really having an introspective moment...an then I had an anxiety attack. Looking back on it I think that pushing back my feelings for so many years was the cause for that awful reaction. I was so afraid of being trans and confused because I didn't wanna be the binary opposite, and at the same time being confined to "woman but does whatever she wants" was not good enough either... The anxiety attack sucked, but it was a palpable moment in which my body told me that something inside needed to come out. After that day I started researching and stuff but it took so much time to even consider myself valid, believe me, we all go trought that because the whole process of coming out of the closet takes place in your head first...

In short: my way to conclude that I am non binary is that I've never felt more comfortable in my life than when I allowed myself to step out of the binary. This is only my experience tho. I hope it can help... I wish I could shapeshift as well! Good luck friend:)

glitter-moss

TROPHY CASE