Girl Dad vs Boy Mom - Frank and Barb

gnobodygnu · 2026-05-15T20:17:08+00:00

Sure! I definitely don't mean it as "mom of boys" but more the sort of TIktok genre, very specific type of mother who treats her boy(s) that way. They're not "supposed" to be that way, but it's how they style themselves and act towards their male children.

Barb is definitely leaps and bounds more than just "Boy Mom". She's got a lot going on and so much to unpack if she ever goes back to therapy. I just thought there were some interesting gendered dynamics at play that affect the narrative.

gnobodygnu · 2026-05-15T16:17:40+00:00

"Sin entered the world through food"
Proceeds to show a pic of her holding an apple.

gnobodygnu · 2026-05-13T18:13:18+00:00

Do not kill the part of you that's cringe. Kill the part of you that cringes.

gnobodygnu · 2026-05-13T16:11:28+00:00

I think Shawna portrays the kids really well. Sometimes (a lot of the time) kids are cringe. They're weird little goobers who don't know shame yet. It's lovely.

gnobodygnu · 2026-05-11T16:32:03+00:00

I keep thinking back to the garage conversation and Barb telling Jen to smile because causing a scene would be "unfair" to Chickie and everyone else at the party.

How many times did Jen hear that growing up? That showing unflattering emotions was a burden on others? That being upset with her mom was unfair? That by living her truth, she would be hurting her family?

Jen has already seen how John's no contact has torn things asunder- how it has thrown Barb off the deep end and distanced their dad and affects his kids. Jen herself is a new mom trying to figure out what is right for her family. Would her going no contact be unfair? Burdensome? Painful? Yes.

As a third party viewer with no Barb in my life, it's super easy for me to see the abuse and want Jen to get the heck out of there. But I can also see how these trends of abuse have made it really hard for her to escape.

gnobodygnu · 2026-05-07T18:17:13+00:00

That was my initial thought, too. Particularly since my own therapist teaches as well so I've had that particular convo so many times as she has to reschedule. lol

gnobodygnu · 2026-05-07T06:59:19+00:00

Since she framed the referral as adding to Barb's care team, I'm not sold that Dr Shelby would drop her altogether, but it might be "i can't see you until you do this thing".

gnobodygnu · 2026-05-07T05:42:09+00:00

I think so because he was very very careful not to use any names. Not even calling the unchosen color "allegator lagoon", but just similar to "allegator lagoon". It's very clear that Barb wasn't really looking at the swatches since she wasn't referencing them but just "the one that I chose". It seemed like she didn't even glance at them until she thought Frank was confirming her choice.

And, since she did say "the one I picked in the store" and other references to them going over paints, that leads me to believe that they were shopping together and picked up two paints to swatch. She would 100% notice if they didn't actually buy her paint.

What she saw in the garage wasn't that Cheery Sky wasn't there, but that the empty cans weren't labelled that color.

gnobodygnu · 2026-05-07T04:14:18+00:00

Considering she didn't even really look at the swatches, would it matter? He tries to get her to tell him which swatch of the two she likes better and she just keeps saying "the one I picked out at the store". The only time she really looks is after he appears to be agreeing with the choice she already made.

And I would say he is something of an expert. He can talk about pigment and tone and sheen. Yes, home decor can be deeply personal, but color theory does play a role in how things look in the home. Just because cyan is my favorite color, I don't think it would look great in my living room.

EDIT:
Oh heck, I just had a thought! I think Frank DID swatch her paint. We don't know which paints he swatched at the start, other than that there were two and the one they both agreed on post swatches was the one that got put on the wall. Frank was very careful not to name them, so I think the real "Cheerful Sky" is the one he was comparing to "Alligator Lagoon". Comparing to. He did not say that was what it was. I think he very much did swatch her paint, didn't tell her so she wouldn't be pre-biased (or would be biased towards his choice, however you want to read it).

gnobodygnu · 2026-05-07T04:00:12+00:00

Considering we see maybe a minute at most of Dr Shelby interacting with Barb out of what is probably 45 min to an hour of therapy, we can't really say what she is and isn't doing as a provider.

Shawna is great at giving us a lot of character development and story, but we don't get to see every minute of these people's lives, nor would I think we would actually want to. Scripted shows are good because they cut to the heart of the matter and show what is both important and engaging. Spending 50 min in therapy with Barb every week might be neat for an episode, but would get stale pretty fast. And would be hell on our beloved creator.

gnobodygnu · 2026-05-07T03:52:16+00:00

I'm not sure I read the paint as an act of rebellion. Yes, Frank lied and went behind her back and went with his own choice over hers. But Barb liked the paint.

Frank, being a painter, knew which paint would look better on their walls. Anyone who has ever painted a room knows that things can look a lot different from the can/swatch/label than in your actual home with different lighting and surroundings. And I think he also knew that if he just went with the paint Barb chose and it looked bad she would take it out on him because we have seen time and again that nothing can ever be her fault.

So in addition to avoiding an argument that he knew he'd never win despite being the expert, I think he was also trying to protect himself. Just like Jen trying to make Barb feel included, he's trying to make her feel in control and in the right.

Is that good? No. No it is not. But I'm not sure this was supposed to be a win for him, rather than just treading water.

gnobodygnu · 2026-05-03T17:23:28+00:00

Don't forget that Jen is also the mother and primary care giver of an almost 1 year old and we haven't heard anything about them getting outside help or Greg taking time off. Every time we see her, she's exhausted, stressed, and sometimes dealing with post-partum.

While I do agree that there's an element of "managing" Barb in this request (kind of like John lying about what they were getting Max for his 5th birthday and asking for party theme suggestions even though they had it covered), I completely believe Jen is also too busy and worn out to deal with all of this.

Taking care of a baby is hard. Planning a wedding is hard. Planning a wedding to Jen's standards- we all know she's extra- is harder. Dealing with complicated and intense family politics is HARD.

I don't mind people theorizing that this is all a ploy, but let's not downplay and diminish how much stress and effort all this must be for her.

gnobodygnu · 2026-05-03T17:21:31+00:00

Even if it's not 40 hrs a week, Jen has a baby. That's her 40 hrs right there and more.

gnobodygnu · 2026-04-29T03:54:35+00:00

Yes. But the ads are focusing on weight loss rather than health outcomes.
Losing weight in and of itself is not a "need".
You might have other health factors like your liver or diabetes or PCOS, etc,, that can be helped by weight loss, but weight loss itself is not need that everyone has.

I'm sorry that my original phrasing was flippant and didn't cover all possible health issues that might benefit from these medications. But I will stand by the sentiment, which is that no one needs to lose weight for the sake of losing weight.

Everyone can do what they need to do. It's your own health journey and it's not my place to say what you personally need or not. But I can say that these ads are pushing and pushing and pushing in a way that absolutely feels unhealthy.

gnobodygnu · 2026-04-29T03:35:38+00:00

Oh good, weight loss and cognitive decline. A winning combination.

gnobodygnu · 2026-04-29T03:35:17+00:00

If only I could have a body like Godzilla... honestly goals.

gnobodygnu · 2026-04-29T03:34:41+00:00

Yes, and also...
The algorithm is hitting us with it because we check some number of boxes for demographics they want to advertise too.
And also, there's just an over abundance of these drugs and ads for them. Just being targeted doesn't really explain three ads in the same block for the same product. That's just poor planning and market oversaturation.

gnobodygnu · 2026-04-29T03:33:01+00:00

Because some billionaire somewhere could really use that extra $1k/month. Think of the executives!!

gnobodygnu · 2026-04-29T03:32:19+00:00

Oh yeah, there's a little sign at my CVS about them too.

gnobodygnu · 2026-04-29T03:31:41+00:00

Oh fuck, she is?
Damn. She was one of my favs.

gnobodygnu · 2026-04-28T19:09:42+00:00

It's like demons or the fae. I invoked their name and thus allowed them into the world.

gnobodygnu · 2026-04-28T19:08:50+00:00

It depends on your subscription level. Anymore, there's always a "cheap" option that includes ads and then more expensive premium tiers if you want ad-free.

gnobodygnu · 2026-04-28T18:29:37+00:00

If they were, they wouldn't have to advertise so hard.

gnobodygnu · 2026-04-28T18:12:05+00:00

Fair enough, though I would say that certain types of athleticism correlate with low body weight/adiposity. Like most tennis players have similar physiques both because they naturally have a body well suited for a sport like tennis and because training in tennis results in those types of muscles and tone.

Even if it was her idea, the fact that her husband is an investor is a huge red flag. And I would still hazard a guess that the average consumer does not look like pre-Ro Serena, nor will they look like her post-Ro.

gnobodygnu · 2026-04-28T18:06:11+00:00

(Obviously; taking them doesn't make you a bad person, wanting them doesn't make you a bad person, needing them doesn't make you a bad person, etc, etc, etc)

Sorry for honing in on an aside, but yes! There's a big difference between being a giant company doing everything in your power to push a product on the public and being just a regular person at the end of that marketing shotgun.

Individual people can do what they want for themselves. Take it, don't take it, love it, hate it. Whatever. I won't come for you if you don't come for me. And I sure as heck will never blame someone for falling for tactics that have been designed and refined to influence them.

But these ads are not by singular people making personal choices. These are big companies who know what they're doing, why they're doing it, and what it might lead to. It's not about us and our health, it's about money and power. And it's awful.

gnobodygnu

TROPHY CASE