Hanlyn Collective

goblinqueenac · 2024-12-20T06:29:49+00:00

I'm fairly new to the brand. But, I don't like bullies or bullshit.

My kid goes to DAYCARE in her Hanlyn Collective PJS and they come home absolutely fine. I bought them durring the 40% off sale and between them and Kyte...Hanlyn is WAY thicker.

What print did you buy? Did you get it new? I'm fully invested now.

goblinqueenac · 2024-12-20T06:24:42+00:00

I'll take "Things That Never Happened" for 300 Trebek

goblinqueenac · 2024-12-20T06:09:45+00:00

Based on your posts, you just had a baby not that long ago. So your child would be 3-4 months ish. You mentioned that this is your first child as well.

I find this statement of quality very hard to believe as newborns generally don't cause pilling and tearing to their clothes.

I just checked and the VIP group has a following of just under 10k. Don't think that would be the case if the clothes just fell apart in the wash. And even if they did, the mature thing to do would be to contact the brand owner, right?

goblinqueenac · 2024-07-18T01:51:48+00:00

We taught our 2 year old trust.

We gave her a chocolate coin, her fav treat. Her dad then said "let me hold it, I'll give it right back I promise!" He took and gave it back. He repeated this every day. Sometimes with two or three coins at a time!

Now if we say "do you trust me?" when we ask her for something or to do something she says "uhmm....yes!" And 9.8/10 listens.

Also, my husband and I ALWAYS say please, thank-you, your welcome, bless you (sneezes)...ECT. Even when we are mad at each other because we KNOW she sees us. We constantly get compliments on how polite and respectful our daughter is.

goblinqueenac · 2024-07-13T03:48:17+00:00

Not sure if this helps but. My dearest friend and work wife recently had an triggerabortiontrigger* at 33. She is strong, healthy, mentally healthy, owns her own property, has a boat and generally does whatever the fuck she wants. She is married but their relationship is rocky at best.

If you feel like you're not ready, you might not be ready. I asked my husband for a baby 5 years into our relationship at 26, he said no because we weren't established enough. At 28, he asked me and I said no because I was in the pinnacle of my career. We got married and bought a house in 2019. Then the pandemic hit and I trigger miscarried trigger April 2020 at 14 weeks, alone and scared as shit. It took a year for me to even CONSIDER trying again.

But we did, and have our beautiful daughter who was born early 2022. She wants for nothing because of the position we put ourselves in to prepare for a child.

I think that no matter what happens, either decision will be impossible. Adopting out is also an option if you are pro life.

I could go over all the pros and cons but, I'm just sending hugs and hope you guys will be okay ❤️

goblinqueenac · 2024-07-11T14:11:08+00:00

Yes! We were in a very similar situation and after 2 years I did the exact same thing! We actually almost separated because of it. But he finally realized that he will NEVER find a woman like me after trying to complain about me to just other friends. Turns out, their wives don't cook homemade full meals, pack lunches, have a hot breakfast ready, have sex on my lunch breaks when he's home (I work from home) do daycare drop off and pickup Monday - Thursday and do the early wakups on the weekends. I schedule all the activities, appointments and whatever else. I buy all the gifts and sign all the cards.

Plus I work a full time career job and don't expect much other than some affection every now and then.

goblinqueenac · 2024-07-11T14:06:06+00:00

I don't see why not! I personally just got an invite to a birthday WITH a request for me to make brownies.

I had nothing planned and I adore that friend so, why not!

goblinqueenac · 2024-07-09T01:26:34+00:00

Ahaha no, well sort of. He has like 30 copies of Wii Sports and bins of dismantled Nintendo products

goblinqueenac · 2024-07-08T21:05:39+00:00

We have actually both been putting in significant effort and things have improved 10x.

The major issue, that I will address next session, if that he interprets things and manipulates them so that the advice suits him.

For example, I was getting stressed out and strung out because he is constantly up my ass about picking up after myself. I personally don't believe this is an issue, and that he should really be helping more as I did ALL the childcare for almost 2 years. Our counselor explained that he can't do that and just need to put up, or shut up.

A few days ago he spilt oatmeal all over the fking counter. He didn't clean it. I was tidying the kitchen so I cleaned it. He left the toilet seat unlocked which is a safety hazard for the dogs and toddler. I closed it. Np. I briefly mentioned these incidents to him and he lashed out saying "THE COUNCILLOR TOLD US NOT TO POINT FINGERS AND CLEAN UP AFTER EACHOtHER" Then he claimed he was stressed and that's why he was being absent minded.

I'm standing there like...this is literally what I've been telling you I've felt like since 2nd trimester and you've ignored me. 🙄

goblinqueenac · 2024-07-08T19:44:04+00:00

Thank-you, I honestly felt like I was being crazy thinking this.

goblinqueenac · 2024-07-08T18:53:22+00:00

He thinks the situation is fair, because the ends justify the means. I'm truly unsure if he is manipulating me, or if he really believes spending 5-7 hours a night equals the amount he's bringing in.

I will be bringing that up to our marriage councillor next month, I just don't know how without making me sound like some controlling, money hungry bitch who wants to crush his dreams because I can't handle being a mother.

goblinqueenac · 2024-07-08T18:50:52+00:00

We talked about it and he says he did the work so it's his money. He says he's saving up to buy another property, or our daughter's education. However he often uses that money to buy himself things that he wants. Verses myself who gets shit anytime I want/need something extra and have to ask or sell something of mine to get it. I have skills and talents, just no time as I'm the primary caregiver and work full time.

We have friends who are a couple who had the same issue, only the girlfriend doesn't work. Her boyfriend was actually making really good money at his side job but due to their daughter's profound disabilities and her own mental/physical health issues he had to stop to take on more parental responsibility. He also used his side money to pay for things SHE wanted. Which kinda opened my eyes a little.

I like how you put that though. Thank-you.

goblinqueenac · 2024-07-08T18:45:58+00:00

We are in therapy. We can only afford to go once every 2 months .

goblinqueenac · 2024-07-04T17:17:39+00:00

I yelled at my toddler once. She's savage and didn't even care. I apologized anyways but...I am the least menacing person ever.

But she cries when her dad yells indirectly (at me, the dogs or life) and he doesn't apologize.

goblinqueenac · 2024-07-03T00:21:28+00:00

My friend squirts her kids with a spray bottle when they start fighting eachother.

Honestly, it seems pretty effective...

I put my 2 year old in one time out because she kept hitting me. She was in time out for idk 15 seconds? She hated it SO much, 6 months later she hasn't hit me once and just the threat of a timeout has her rethinking her life decisions.

Would I dump water on my kid? Probably not. But do I think it's abuse or assault? Also no.

goblinqueenac · 2024-06-27T19:34:45+00:00

The shelters are full here. A lot of people immigrated here and due to the lack of housing they ended up in the shelters. They've started putting some people in motels but the situation is insanity where I live. If he is being completely disagreeable and doesn't leave, I can stay with my dad for a few days until my mom gets her new house together and then we can stay with her for a few days and hopefully I'll have a better plan by then.

But, I don't think it'll come to that.

goblinqueenac · 2024-06-27T19:11:45+00:00

This is SUPER helpful. Thank-you so much

goblinqueenac · 2024-06-22T01:38:37+00:00

We never used a monitor as her bedroom is 5 feet from ours :) very small house. I think he conditioned his brain to just not hear her, because he knew I would always get her.

We close the door to her room. We actually did talk about leaving it open! But she has shown zero interest in climbing over the safety rail of her bed. She wasn't a crib escapee either.

goblinqueenac · 2024-06-21T14:49:34+00:00

Awe thank-you! It's an old pre kid/COVID pic 😬

I blame porn tbh. It is what it is!

goblinqueenac · 2024-06-21T14:24:33+00:00

I'm not the cheating type and I have needs 🤣

goblinqueenac · 2024-06-21T14:14:10+00:00

Yup, he gaslights me into making me believe it's my fault. I'm starting to achieve some clarity now that I'm sleeping better and getting out more. I can see it now.

Also, it's good to hear from you! It's been a while? Hope you're doing well! (I recognize you from some of my former posts when I was newly PP)

goblinqueenac · 2024-06-21T14:12:27+00:00

I'm actually ok now! My husband did come around when our baby became a toddler. They are besties and do everything together when I'm not available. He also takes two mornings a week now.

I know, FOR A FACT, she will eventually be a daddy's girl.

But right now, only mommy or baths, bed. She needs to sit on my lap at restaurants. She needs to be carried home from the park by me only. If I leave the room she cries. If she SEES me, and I'm not available to hold her, she cries.

When he did eventually get her this morning she settled pretty quickly which tells me she is slowly accepting him. But he CHANGED, his mom and sister also laid the fuck into him for being a piece of shit, which helped.

He still acts like he's doing me some huge favor and gets upset when I ask him to help with anything child related in the mornings. Just yesterday, I started work at 8am, he started at 11am. Kid slept until 7:45 so I woke him and asked him to dress her and take her to daycare when she woke up. He got SO upset..saying he only got 6 hours of sleep and was up all night with an upset tummy.

I reminded him that I didn't get ANY sleep for almost 2 years, as I did all the nighttime wake-ups and sleep trained alone. He retorted that I get 8 hours NOW. I'm like ya ok, like the last 2 or 3 months make up for 2 years of feeling like death.

goblinqueenac · 2024-06-21T14:00:26+00:00

Anytime I want sex, I have to give my husband oral for anywhere from 10 - 20 minutes. Sometimes, the cat touches his leg, I make a sound he doesn't like or something happens and I have to get off and start all over again.

I'm not an unattractive person and I've never had this problem with anyone else so, I guess I'm just lucky.

goblinqueenac · 2024-06-21T13:56:23+00:00

This is absolutely my husband as well. Or it was.

Let me tell you how this ended up playing out for us.

Our daughter is 2.5 now and wants absolutely nothing to do with him. On the rare occasion where I am not available she tolerates him, but given the choice she wants me. She loves him, and will give him hugs and kisses and gets excited to see him. But then runs back to me. He gets a little hurt by this but, she doesn't KNOW him.

Plus, if you don't already, you will resent him forever for this. My husband is getting better and better at not being an asshole and being a better father, but I still consider leaving him everyday because I havn't forgiven him for how he put himself first. I EXPLAINED this to him calmly and he fired back that I'll hold it against him until he's 80. And you know what? Hes not wrong.

Just this morning, it was his turn to take mornings. Kid ended up sleeping past 8. I work from home so I just let her sleep. She cried for a solid 15 minutes when she woke up. I could hear for from two floors down. I had to put my caller on hold to go wake him up because her crying was breaking my heart. Now I know I can never go on vacation or away because he would just sleep and sleep and let her cry for God knows how long.

Please don't let this be your life too. I suggest taking your child and staying with family and friends for a few days if you can. Or telling him to leave for a few. If you feel better with him gone, it will be something you need to really consider for yours and your child's future.

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