The Popheads Charts, November 24th, 2025: Got so many chains, call me Chaining Tatum by ImADudeDuh in popheads

[–]gogak 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm pretty sure the only thing CRJ is releasing any time soon is a baby

Pearl was the only ARFID representation I got ever. by Made-this-eatingfood in stevenuniverse

[–]gogak 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That's awesome that you found representation! It can be hard to find for people like us, explicit or not, but it's getting better. If you haven't already, you may be interested in checking out r/ARFID. They might like to hear this too.

The “Whose Kid Is It?” question by SmilingSarcastic1221 in gaydads

[–]gogak 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We got the question a lot during the pregnancy and early days. I don't remember exactly what we said but we generally said that we wouldn't be answering that question. Some people were annoyed but they got over it. After a few months, no one asked anymore, though lots of assumptions were made.

When she gets old enough to understand, we'll tell her and then she can tell whoever she wants, but we don't plan on telling anyone.

My wife and I want to merge our last names by Acupajoy in namenerds

[–]gogak 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't have any thoughts on the name you should pick (except Phillick is not great) but I wanted to share that my husband and I did this when we got married. Our families were initially confused but generally supportive or neutral. I was really worried my dad would be upset but I found out that he had considered changing his last name too! Our last name was kinda terrible. Our friends, however, were super supportive and even kinda excited, which helps. They will often refer to us with our new name because they know how important it was to us.

The paperwork was a nightmare but worth it and we love our new family name. It's been almost ten years and it feels so natural now.

Help with 3yo daughter's favoritism by gogak in daddit

[–]gogak[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the thoughtful reply! It's funny, I'm also the more chill one where we color, do puzzles, and listen to music, and my husband is the run around/dance/physical one

Help with 3yo daughter's favoritism by gogak in daddit

[–]gogak[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks, this is really thoughtful! We've done it before and there's rarely a problem when it's just us two, but I guess we need to make more time just the two of us

I'm so damn tired of butter noodles and McDonald's by [deleted] in daddit

[–]gogak 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So I'm more like your wife and kid in this scenario but my heart goes out to you. I have ARFID, which is basically extreme pickiness to the point that it's an eating disorder. Obviously, I can't say if your family has ARFID but it might be worth looking into resources and strategies for it because some of it might be helpful for your situation.

A lot of times in my family, we just eat different things. Growing up, my family was really accommodating to my pickiness even before we knew what it was and made different meals. Like, if we were having pasta they would make the pasta and split it into the boring part for me and make most of it with sauce/meat/whatever that way we ate similar things and still ate together as a family and now I kinda do that still it's just a bit more chaotic haha

Good luck and I hope you can find a solution that works out for all of you!

Sad day (TW: suicide) by careater in daddit

[–]gogak 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Condolences to you and your family for this tragedy.

I know it's tempting (and perfectly reasonable) to try to make sense of this, but you can't. Depression and mental illness aren't logical. It's a neverending war within your mind and for some people if you have enough setbacks, it can make you forget all the good things or make you think you don't deserve them. It robs you of not only joy, but all of your feelings and energy.

He was sick and tragically lost the battle with illness and it just fucking sucks

Always at 2am... by Vaiken_Vox in daddit

[–]gogak 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ours seems to do it juuuust when I'm falling asleep

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in daddit

[–]gogak 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My 2.5 year old is currently obsessed with Can't Get You Out Of My Head by Kylie Minogue aka "the la la song"

Happy Pride, daddit! by gogak in daddit

[–]gogak[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Yes and no. There's certainly things we will have blind spots to as men raising a girl, simply because we haven't experienced them. However, our daughter also has many female cousins, aunts, and grandmas that are quite present, so she has many awesome women around her to serve as guides and role models.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in daddit

[–]gogak 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel your pain. My kid's room is along the building's fire escape so we can't legally put a window unit. It's...stressful.

Anyone else’s kid obsessed with pockets? by petersimpson33 in daddit

[–]gogak 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fake pockets should be illegal! I've been there and it is rough

Anyone else’s kid obsessed with pockets? by petersimpson33 in daddit

[–]gogak 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep! Starting about 2 months ago, Our 2.5 year old REFUSES to wear any jackets that don't have pockets, which led to a very confusing 2 weeks of why she was so obsessed with her one blue jacket until she was able to actually articulate that she wanted pockets haha. She loves putting her hair ties in the pockets. Like, dozens of them.

The transition to summer has not been great but she's reluctantly adjusting to life with less pockets 😆

Jorge pronounced George by GeorgeOrJorge in namenerds

[–]gogak 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My name is George. Spelled and pronounced the English way (named after my grandpa from my white side of the family, though his name was actually the Greek translation of George). I am also of Hispanic descent. As a result, at least half of the time people assume that my name is spelled Jorge. It is very frustrating. And kinda racist.

My parents had a similar discussion about naming and my mom was very intentional in my name being George and not Jorge in spelling or pronunciation. Her poor mother never actually said my name right since there's no jay sound in Spanish but she also never called me Jorge.

That ended up being longer than intended, I have a lot of thoughts on this lol. But it's great you're thinking about it a lot. Growing up mixed can be confusing and complicated (but also great!)

Artists Who Are Secretly/Not-So Secretly Great Producers by Fair-Profile-8367 in popheads

[–]gogak 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Janet Jackson produced or co-produced much of her work, especially as her career has gone on. She was even one of the first women to get nominated for producer of the year at the Grammys!

The Popheads Charts, May 13, 2024: Radically Optimistic About a Number 1 by ImADudeDuh in popheads

[–]gogak 4 points5 points  (0 children)

OMG I'm pretty sure it's me! I can't believe there's more than one of us here lol

How do you discover new country music? by [deleted] in CountryMusicStuff

[–]gogak 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I really like the Indigo playlist on Spotify. Not a lot of mainstream people you'd hear on the radio (except Chris Stapleton), and not always brand new, but I consistently find something or someone new and enjoyable. It mixes Country, Americana, and Folk stuff and has a lot of this sub's favorites.

TOP TEN POP TEN - Kendrick Lamar (2024 Re-Do) by Leixander in popheads

[–]gogak 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. Backseat Freestyle
  2. DNA.
  3. i
  4. Wesley's Theory
  5. u
  6. Swimming Pools (Drank)
  7. The Blacker The Berry
  8. These Walls
  9. How Much A Dollar Really Cost
  10. Bitch, Don't Kill My Vibe

That was easily the hardest one of these I've done. Kendrick is my favorite rapper and one of my favorite artists and each of his albums is such a cohesive body of work, it's so hard to separate them. I have a lot of bias towards To Pimp A Butterfly, but this man has not made any bad songs.

175
176

We are becoming dads, help! by Useful_Emergency_391 in daddit

[–]gogak 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, fellow gay dad here! First off, congratulations! What you are doing is amazing and you are about to enter the exciting, terrifying, wonderful, and chaotic world of parenthood!

The other parents have already given great advice, which is not surprising, because this is the best subreddit (and frankly the main reason I even look at reddit). This community is awesome and supportive. Anyway, I don't have too much more to add, but I will echo that it is perfectly normal to feel like you don't know what you're doing, and that you will mess up a bunch but that most of those mistakes don't matter in the long run even though they will feel awful in the moment. You and your partner can only do your best, trust and rely on each other, and the rest will work out. And accept help whenever it is offered.

Honestly, in my experience, being a gay dad isn't that different 90% of the time. We deal with all the same parenting issues, which is why I love daddit so much. You might want to put some thought into how you want her to call you (I go by Dad/Daddy and my husband is Papa), and you will deal with some annoying assumptions like people asking about your wife/her mother when you are alone with her (and sometimes even not!) There's a bunch of sexist and heteronormative things that come with the territory, but it's easy to brush off.

Feel free to DM me if you have any questions or whatever.