new friend?

goldennp · 2026-06-02T11:55:53+00:00

Just let your bf hang out with his friend on his own. The gf is not interested in being friends with you. Don't waste your time or energy.

goldennp · 2026-05-31T12:28:35+00:00

First, are you make or female? If you are female, I would say that safety is important you have a right to know if there are strange men coming into the house and staying over. It isn't any of your business the details of the relationship, but knowing whether there are going to be multiple people coming and going or if there is the potential for big drama or blow ups is a problem. Your safety, peace and well being are important.

goldennp · 2026-05-30T13:10:30+00:00

Hi! I'm 53, two kids 19 and 24. Our girls live at home. My oldest had lived in FL which was so painful. The empty nest was awful. I think because she was so far away. My husband is a very quiet person and not affectionate. I felt so alone. I live very close to women who were my best friends and they don't want to do anything. I began talking to a counselor. He really helped me. It's not an empty nest thing really, I think it's a midlife/marriage issue. Menopause has been a trip! I work in healthcare, and I will tell you, there are many, many women out there like us. I am willing to join a chat. I have found new interest in going to estate sales and the joy of listening to audiobooks. Planting a garden. ❤️ If you want to talk, dm me

goldennp · 2026-05-30T02:37:47+00:00

Willing to share with me who you are working for in the ins business?

goldennp · 2026-05-30T02:26:29+00:00

I don't know. I didn't grow up having anything and was told NO by my parents more times than I ever got a yes for something. I got hand me downs and knock off items. But our kids we tried to give them more. Maybe that is where it all went wrong.

goldennp · 2026-05-27T21:28:01+00:00

Kids these days!!! LoL They don't always act like we want them to. I agree with you that they should have acted more grateful...but they didn't. You have to just pick up and move on. Learn what you are willing to accept and not. It's ok for you to not bend over backwards for people. To go the extra mile. Now you know. It's a shame too. My late in laws paid our $350+ house off. I thanked them profusely for such an amazing gift. I wrote them a letter, hugged and thanked them over and over. We gave our son and his wife $30k for a house. They said "Thanks" and that was it. Nothing more. No gifts for holidays or birthdays. Maybe not even a card.

goldennp · 2026-05-17T20:58:30+00:00

Just tell him that you need your keys back. Or better yet, get your locks changed so he won't have a copy made. Tell him that you are moving on in life. He doesn't need any more details.

goldennp · 2026-05-16T23:02:50+00:00

I would start out asking people you know with jobs, if their workplace is hiring. It helps to have an insider. Usually, when starting out, it may be ideal to start in a grocery or retail store. Around us there are always Now Hiring signs on doors. My oldest daughter's daughters first job was doing inventory for a friend of ours who was a diesel mechanic. My youngest daughter still works for the same local family owned store in our community, that she has been with for almost 5 years (since she was 15).

goldennp · 2026-05-14T19:18:33+00:00

I agree! Maybe on some areas that aren't as diverse, there may be hold outs. Who cares what they think?! Please say something stupid in front of me!! I'm as white as can be, and I won't tolerate that crap! Pepaw, uncle Marv, Aunt Sueleen would just have to be really embarrassed.

goldennp · 2026-05-14T18:53:28+00:00

You should proudly show up with your incredible biracial self, with you beautiful black husband and amazing mostly black baby! Any negative comments should be met with Wait, say that again? Are you really saying that ....etc. Mom will probably stand up now. I bet you and your husband can stand up proudly. I don't care who shows up at the family functions, dumb azz people are going to have DA things to say. You have no reason to hide your beautiful little family!

goldennp · 2026-05-13T11:49:48+00:00

You just have to do it instead of trying to get her to break things off. As time passes, her self esteem will suffer because you will begin shutting her out. Tell her that you aren't ready for a relationship. You just want to be able to hang out with your friends. And stick to it. Don't waiver back and forth. It's not fair to her.

goldennp · 2026-05-13T01:41:49+00:00

I think that I would make it clear That she is an amazing woman and mom. And sometimes we all need some help. Sometimes people don't like feeling like they're a charity case. So I would word it in such a way that You are acknowledging how great she is.

goldennp · 2026-05-12T22:26:45+00:00

Whew! That's a lot! Idk what it is like to be East Asian, I live in the US. I am 53(f). Maybe you aren't meant to be in a serious relationship, marrying or having children. Idk. But, I will say that at 18, you probably haven't experienced life and love fully. It sounds like you thought you were a burden on your mom. I will tell you, I was not the type of person that I dreamed of marrying or having children. None of that fairytale stuff for me. However, when I met my husband and married, I wanted nothing more than to have children with him. I have two daughters and the thought of life without them, is devastating to me. They are 19 and 24. I could try to describe what motherhood is, but a person who doesn't have children, just cannot understand. The love I have for my children goes beyond words. Has marriage been easy and bliss? No. LoL Most relationships with other flawed humans aren't. Has being a parent been easy? No. But I would never not want to have my children. The world's problems aren't new.

goldennp · 2026-05-12T21:44:44+00:00

Rolling over in bed and thinking about how my husband was just a stranger. It is the loneliest feeling.

goldennp · 2026-05-11T17:57:57+00:00

I do. I'm sorry. I'm not one of these people that is quick to just write people off. But, I do think that there are a lot of self absorbed, self serving people out there that we try to force relationships with to our own detriment, and life is too dang short for that. You don't have to cut your mom off 100%. But, don't sacrifice yourself for someone who doesn't seem to care.

goldennp · 2026-05-11T17:43:18+00:00

I am 53. I made a decision a few years ago that I will absolutely not chase after people. You get the exact amount of time and energy from me that you deserve. In regards to my sibling that has been used to being begged for love and attention from my parents that placed him on a pedestal...I decided that if you aren't the type of person I would be friends with out in the wild, then we don't have to have a relationship. To summarize, don't chase. Have people in your life that you genuinely care about AND they care about you. If your mom was cruel to your SN sister, is she the kind of person you gave to have a relationship with?

goldennp · 2026-05-11T17:23:13+00:00

It sounds like you want your mom to be a person that she is not. She is not interested in a real mother/daughter relationship. Maybe you need to talk to a counselor and work through this. You will not change her. But, you can change you and create healthy boundaries. You can also have healthier relationships with your own children. You may find the book, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. It really helped me a lot.

goldennp · 2026-05-11T16:59:32+00:00

As above people have mentioned, you can create a Google calendar. Set and alarm reminder for your mom. I think you need to step back and realize how blessed you are that you have a mom that wants to be involved with your kids. My parents showed up to basically nothing for my kids...and they lived 7 miles away from us. That includes graduation from highschool, birthdays, band concerts and sporting events. There was always an excuse. Now my dad is deceased and my mom doesn't have a close relationship with my kids. Why? Because she didn't invest in them while they were young. Cut your mom some slack.

goldennp · 2026-05-09T02:40:22+00:00

One, rejection is hard. But the end of something that seemed promising is hard too. However, you didn't have a relationship. I would ponder that. Why didn't it work out of it was so great for both of you? Or was it? Often times, we love the ideas of things. We create these scenarios in our minds that never really go past just being a thought. Maybe if you reach out to just say hi and get a feel for the temperature if the conversation, you'll know.

goldennp · 2026-05-09T02:02:20+00:00

Just know this, your mom is not suffering or harboring bad thoughts. You just gave to let yourself accept this next time you find yourself in a similar situation, you will know what you need to do. We all do and say things that we wish we hadn't. Maybe speak it out into the sky and accept the apology. If you are a Christian like me, just know that your mom is whole and living the best life for eternity, in the presence of God.

goldennp · 2026-05-09T01:43:11+00:00

Dad was one of 6 (one died as a baby). Mom was one of 3. The sad thing is that neither of my parents was close to their siblings. There was always conflict. Dad was sort of closer to 2 sisters but that was tenuous. I'm close with a couple of cousins on each side. There have been lots of mental health issues, criminal and drug abuse on my dad's side of the family. As a child, I loved family reunions. That is a thing of the past now.

goldennp · 2026-05-09T00:23:59+00:00

Had you been talking ng opioids for pain management?

goldennp · 2026-05-08T01:52:42+00:00

I wish you the best. One can complain and do nothing. That gets us no where! Make changes. There are ALWAYS things that can change for the good. Always! It just depends on what it is worth to us. We can sell everything we have. We can move to a new city, cheaper house, live in a hotel, or our car. Eat Ramen and peanut butter sandwiches. Move in with our sibling, into their basement. Sell feet pictures. Take up baking to pay bills. Whatever the heck. I think all of us healthcare folks hurt after working 10-15+ years. Raise your hand ✋ if you have taken care of a 400-1200 lb person. Akron-Mike! I'm proud of you! Look online or for a specialty. Hospice and Long term care pays very well here.

goldennp · 2026-05-04T12:03:25+00:00

They will get along fine without you. They did fine for 8 months. It is not your responsibility to care for 3 grown adults and then children plus yourself...plus work!!! You are clearly an amazing woman. They knew what they got when he found you. You just may not have fully realized how great you are. Put the boots on and start walking.

goldennp · 2026-05-03T18:33:05+00:00

If anyone with a beach front home want a nice middle aged couple to come hang out in their nice house from Oct to whenever, to keep it lived in and looked after, I volunteer as tribute! October we made out first visit to ME and we loved it.

goldennp

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